Hi there! Raquel here. Welcome to another Book Exploration Station AKA a lengthy book review on this blog. I really, really, really enjoyed and had a blast reading this book and I hope that will be conveyed with the notes and chatter I include throughout this review!! TO READ MORE ABOUT THIS AND HOW I CAME INTO READING THIS BOOK, CHECK OUT THE section “What Kept Me Reading, & The Book’s Impact on Me.”
If you’re someone like me who has had experience and understanding of mindfulness within mental health conditions recovery treatment and doesn’t need an entire recourse on the subject matter but a nice little, pocket-sized reminders of the topic, then this book is probably an incredible and desirable read for you, too!!!
This book is comprised of 100 short, easy and simple 5 minute mindfulness based practices–ranging from short meditations, visualizations, and the ease and encouragement of practicing this beautiful and enriching skill–that are as powerful and unique as lengthier mindfulness or meditation based practices. The book is easy to read, accessible and interesting enough. The bite-sized pieces make it interactive and easy, which is so great especially for ending the evening and heading into a hopefully restful and encouraging sleep for the night ahead to relax and recharge and recuperate from a long and tiring day.
This book is welcoming and kind. Understandable and unlocking of achievement. As you’ll see throughout this review, it’s interesting and intriguing; it’s plenty and so, so GOOD. It’s light, it’s comfort, it’s intention setting and just so beautiful and the best little nugget of a book on something so important and makes a tired thing or a difficult thing just EASY and enjoyable and peaceful and refreshing. That’s this book. I hope that if this is interesting to you, or something you, yourself, feel like you need to work on and are willing to work with, that you’ll find it as helpful, amazing and inspiring and feel good as I did. Good luck! And go out there and be a mindful trooper with the breath of fresh air and lightness that this book can shine into even the darkest of shadows!!! 💜🩶🖤🤍
BOOK LENGTH:
241 pages
MY RECOMMENDATION SCORE:
5/5
OUTSTANDING QUOTES, PRACTICES AND PROMPTS:
I enjoyed and liked this definition of mindfulness very much to begin with:
“The present moment becomes a place you can inhabit more fully when you practice mindfulness–paying attention on purpose, as if it really mattered, to experiences happening both inside and outside your skin. The way you pay attention is important. Being mindful means paying attention in a welcoming, nonjudging way that seeks to understand and receive experience, not to change it” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 9)
“Your mind will likely move away from your breath countless times. Each time, just notice where it went and practice kindness and patience with yourself as you return your attention to the breath sensations happening in the moment” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 21)
>> This book is FULL of wonderful nuggets and gems of self kindness and self compassion, practicing grace and forgiveness for one’s self. I really, really enjoyed this book a lot and it was so pleasant and I can’t wait to read the other books in this series!! (I never read the morning one which I believe was the first and I just found the body one in the library the other day so I’m really looking forward to that one, too!!!). I really thought this point was important and relevant. 🩵🩵🩶🩶🤍🤍
“Let go of any thoughts about the sounds in mindful listening; instead focus on the direct experience of sound itself” — (Brantley & Millstine, 2006, p. 26) >> Whooooops! I definitely had a different idea of what mindful listening was so I’m glad this introduction covered and defined it clearly! I would have thought it was the awareness of the sounds, maybe even labeling them and then noticing another and so on.
“Once you’ve selected practices that seem to fit you, try nurturing a willingness to experiment, without demanding immediate results or a quick fix. You’ll probably find it easier to be wholehearted while doing your practice if you let go of trying to change anything or make anything happen. This is what we mean when we say ‘without attachment to outcome.’ Just do the practice without vigilantly watching and judging what is happening” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 29)
>> Nice and a great summation for me to get back into working on this incoming BIG BES and later a VBR (video book review).
On “Clarity of Vision”:
“Rest your fingertips along the lower edges of your eyebrows. Using a circular motion, massage the area with gentle pressure, always circling outward. Move slowly around the outer perimeter of your eyes, along the edge of the bone that encircles your eyes. Remain at each spot for ten seconds, always circling outward” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 39)
>> I felt this was a good one and relevant, something that I can practice and introduce into my life and end of the work day and the day’s general responsibilities, especially if the day was particularly stressful!!! 😗😘
On “Minimize the workload”:
“Just as you let work overtake you, allow yourself to completely and wholeheartedly immerse yourself into your after-work relaxation time. Instead of waiting for the weekend to enjoy life, schedule fun or pleasurable things to do when your workday comes to a close; such as a massage, a pedicure, or dinner and a movie” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 49)
My commentary: These are all good and restful ideas! I could even work with brainstorming and filming my typical out of work/after work routine and what I do that helps, remaining accountable especially for the next day and being around more books and intentional Internet time (an ongoing work in progress, of course).
On “Plan tomorrow today–then leave it”:
“Looking around your workspace, ask yourself ‘What are the most important things for me to do here tomorrow?’ Write as many as 5 things that come to mind. Breathe mindfully for a few breaths. Ask ‘What should be the first thing?’ Circle it. Leave your list in a place where you can find it easily. Leave all your work and worries there, too” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 59)
My commentary: I read this book at a time where I began to transition into a 5 day work week so many of my flags and reflections mirror that change. I felt this was of a worthy mention for something I can continue to practice and place into my 5 day work week. If you can relate, awesome, you’re welcome! We’re on the same pond hahaha 😃
On “Awards Presentation”:
“Recall a success or something positive you said or did during your day at work today. See how the good outcome depended on you and your unique gifts. Picture giving yourself a beautiful award to acknowledge this good work. Your award includes a sincere thank you or a warm congratulations. Allow yourself to open, then step forward to receive your award graciously” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 65)
My commentary: I actually just so, so, so totally enjoyed this and thought it was so cute and I adore it!! 🩵🩵💚💚
On “Inward focus”: “This meditation requires you to concentrate on a single imaginary object, such as a blade of grass or a candle flame. Once you have a clear picture of this object in your mind’s eye, your thoughts and feelings will ebb and flow naturally, as they always do, but you’ll continue to refocus on the object in your mind’s eye. By doing so, you are repositioning your attention to the present moment, and this will help free you from distraction by worries, anxieties, and outside pressures… It’s important to be in the here and now and to give yourself permission to focus inward. Recognize that those outside concerns are not permanent, they don’t define you and they can’t control your life unless you let them” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 82-83)
>> I felt that this is just such a SOLID meditation, relatable and highly valuable. Does it ring true for you, too? Or is there another one from this review that does it more for you? Let me know in the comments section!! 🙂🙂💚💜💙
On “Where happiness lives”:
“Foreground: what dominates your attention. Background: everything else…. Breathe or listen mindfully. Name any worries or problems in the foreground of your awareness. Let them be. Deliberately shift your attention from those worries to your background, to your surrounding environment. See, hear and sense all that is around you. Acknowledge and appreciate the sources of beauty and happiness around you: loved ones, pets, plants, beautiful objects, all of it. Open to any feelings of joy and gratitude that begin to arise in you” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 98 – 99)
>>> I really thought this was nice and effective!! At the time of handwriting this bit I was feeling pretty physically sick though, bleh. And this is the day after I’m typing this review in which I felt sick enough to call out of work so yeah, it’s been a day.
On “The clutter patrol”:
“Before you start your evening routine, take 5 minutes to straighten up and organize. You can’t clean the whole house in 5 minutes but a couple of minor adjustments will help restore your sense of ease and tranquility. Empty the dishwasher, clear off kitchen counters and dinner table, putting away any stray items or leftovers, toss any dirty clothes into the hamper, collect all scattered miscellaneous paper, coupons or mail and stack them neatly into one pile” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 122-123)
>> This is definitely worth my time and efforts to try and get in the habit of one day/one pile at a time. I have some further dedicated books on the subject matter of decluttering that I could also prioritize reading next. 😊
On “Mindful dishwashing”:
“As you’re washing the dishes (or doing other chores), pause occasionally and take a few mindful breaths. Be attentive to the variety of experiences unfolding in the process of dishwashing. Notice all the sensations you feel: dampness, heat, coolness or heaviness. Open your awareness to sounds and smells as they arise. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings. When your attention wanders, or your mind starts speaking, be kind. Gently notice this has happened and return your attention to the total experience” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 125)
> I really liked this prompt. It’s definitely something I need to have to practice more. Adulting is certainly calling to me. At time of handwriting, I’d like to do an adulting challenge for tomorrow (written on 2/20) with laundry (I completely forgot about this goal until I was reading my next book that mentioned cleaning and then I was all “Well, shit.” Oops). Here’s hoping I can and remember (I didn’t.) And that I set up and I achieve it! (Maybe later? If I’m still feeling okay.)
On this page flag I also noticed a marked change in myself while reading this book. I want to try out more of these exercises and they did bring peace and comfort into my life as I read this book along the way. Yay! Alsoooo, more group ideas!
On “Break the routine”:
“The urge to collapse in front of the TV after dinner can become second nature and part of your evening routine. But, it may not be rewarding. Instead, make a list of more rewarding options for how to spend your evening. Think of activities that may bring more long term fulfillment and lasting enjoyment. Such as: going for a walk, doing something creative, taking a hot bath, meditating, reading a book, donating to a charity, start a new project, give yourself permission to just do nothing” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 130 – 131)
>> For me, I’d replace TV with mindlessly scrolling online or on Youtube Rabbit Holes–which catch me frequently. Reading books ultimately really helps and when reading this book it was really rewarding. The BES/review portion is more work and more exhausting but I have hope and belief it’ll get better and easier and feel really good to get done, edited, uploaded, filmed, edited and released. I’m in it for the long haul, truly!!!! I think I was a lot more content with reading more often than when I’m not. So that’s a new skill to improve and expand on. I can probably find mindful ways of approaching the reviews, even, too. It’s all a work in progress!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🐻❄️💮
On “Evening mishaps”:
“Your only source of strength and understanding on stressful nights may lie in your ability to accept what’s happened and let go of control and the desire to control. … There is so much we cannot control. The following positive affirmations may help you restore balance, compassion and acceptance of what you cannot change:
‘The world won’t end if I wait until morning to deal with this situation.
‘I don’t have power over this situation and that is okay. I am learning to let go.
‘Today was difficult and I wish I could change my predicament. But tomorrow will be a new day to start over again. Tomorrow will bring hope and promise'” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 134 – 135)
My commentary: Interestingly at the time of reading this, I thought it was the first one I really LOVED and resonated with me so much. Later, now, I don’t feel AS massively connected to it but it IS still a good one and worthy of honoring to my Past Self really enjoying it and having it marked as a major takeaway and breakthrough (helped/reminds me of some journaling I did in the first ever workbook I finished called TWGtOP. Upcoming review for that one to come soon.) This also has some great concepts for group potential. Potential worth of a mention in the filmed review, too.
On “Have mercy”:
“As a parent would hold their child, imagine holding yourself and your pain with kindness. Speak gently to yourself, saying something like ‘It’s okay; I am okay’ or ‘May I be safe and well.’ Repeat for as long as you like” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p . 145)
> Worthy of a decent try. I actually have been feeling more that the lows I get are almost more helpful to making groups to help the patients and turn my pain into something worthwhile, creative and ingenious. Gotta take advantage of that next time. Happy, Happy Raquel makes different groups than a Pained Raquel. Which is interesting. Hmmm. May need some reflection on that and some fanfic writing around it. 😝 This quote also reminds me of inner child work, too.
On “Permission to cry”:
“Take a few moments to reflect on the myriad of emotions you’ve been suppressing throughout the day in order to maintain your job, relationships and responsibilities. Release those emotions by giving yourself permission to blubber, sob, weep, complain and wallow as much as you need to. After, practice self-care–be kind and compassionate, loving and gentle with yourself. Follow up with a hug, cup of hot coco, a call to a supportive friend or soothing bath” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 157)
–> Nice! A hot coco sounds magical to have soon. ☕ It’s also been a long while since I last cried emotionally (minus the cry when I was puking this morning, 🙃)
On “Tune out the negative tape loop”: A decent mentioning is this exercise within this chapter, about choosing different and anchoring words for each inhale and exhale. For instance ‘calm’ inhale, ‘peace’ exhale. And working to return your focus back to the words and breathing. Nice! (p. 157)
On “What do you want to do?”: This one is a great and already helpful practice. Though it may be wise and challenging for me to also incorporate utilizations of what I need to do especially within adulting realms. Best not to neglect that area of my life and being, as I have for ages up until this point in time! (p. 165)
On “Lower your standards”: “It’s never too late to call someone back and say ‘Something unexpected came up and I can’t make it. Thanks for thinking of me.’ Or you might say ‘Thanks for the invitation, but it conflicts with other plans.’ This is true: those ‘other’ plans are for taking care of you” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 183)
–> Truer words have never been spoken. Love this! Learn to say no! It’s a superpower! All sound advice. Also, I wrote +1 Hilson reference but I have no recollection of what I meant other than maybe Wilson’s need to be needed or putting everyone like House before himself and referencing that in my own fics and reading it in others? 😗 Decent guess! Hahahaha
There’s a very mindful descriptor and exercise on “Relaxing mind tonic” for making tea that is worthy of mentioning in this review as well as if you ever decide to pick up this book yourself and read it! Gem inside. I won’t give you further details!!! (p. 195) 🍵🍵🫖 🤎🤎🤎
On “Star-filled nights”: What a great, relaxing, soothing chapter and exercise. Worth reading. >> “Let yourself spend a few minutes stargazing tonight, experiencing the sensations that only a sunset or moonbeams can bring to your mind, body and spirit” — (Brantley and Millstone, 2006, p. 209)
On “Good night, my friend”: I like this phrase a lot, “May you be safe and protected” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 229)
On “Vision Quest”: “The essence of [the vision quest] is to be mindful of the journey alone, not the goal or destination. Your journey is one of the mind and spirit, no luggage needed. Visualize a wide, open path at the base of a sacred mountain. As you begin your ascent mindfully, all is quiet and still, full of light and tranquility. Each step propels you forward, sure-footed and full of conviction. Pay attention to your feet, your breathing and the world around you. Along the way, remain open to receiving messages, symbols and signs. Your quest for greater truth and direction may take the shape of a word, an animal or sacred image” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 238 – 239)
My commentary: I really, really enjoyed this and think it’s a great, final ending point and exercise worthy of mentioning in this BES and VBR. YAY! 🩵🩵🩷🩷❤️❤️
THOUGHTS OR IDEAS I HAD WHILE READING:
I find that sometimes if I’m already anxious or agitated that focusing on my breath further distresses me, so often I’ll focus on my heartbeat or rub my hands’ veins and such and that helps to calm me and center me a lot more than my breath. Sometimes it’s okay, though, too. This then makes my mind wander to Hilson and Frost Iron stuff for fanfic writing which is comforting and nice. 🙂
p. 23: on breathing and differences with shallow breathing of the chest over diaphragmatic breathing >> reminds me of some House MD fics I’ve been reading or writing, which I like and appreciate 😀
p. 55’s prompt touches on being friendly even to coworkers you don’t like or get along with and for me, I don’t really have this problem but it could be applicable in my future. Essentially, you first picture someone you like and offer friendliness and good natured things to them and then you do the same to the coworker you have a strained relationship with. “You aren’t excusing this person’s bad behavior, you’re just practicing friendliness” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006).
p. 63 There is the assumption in this book that weekends are work free but I do like the idea of returning library books as a priority to plan for at the beginning of each week! It’s relevant and having library time after work is just SO precious to me! 🩷🩷 Around the time of reading this book, I had to return IDDtTT as it had been up to a year of taking it out, reading part way and abandoning so I did an INCOMPLETE BES and moved forwards with other books. 😇 Like taking out this one! Having book reading time is also really important to me even if faulty so far in seeing it through completely each week. I’m still doing my best, though! Every moment is a learning experience. I like how I feel more when I’m keeping up with reading and book reviewing (maybe that latter is questionable but still) rather than just mindlessly consuming online content all the time. 🩵🩵💛💛 I can actually challenge myself with some mindful practices during this than if I’m constantly shoveling in online content on Youtube into my eyes and ears throughout the days! I’m learning that I can actually get more done and feel better about it if I’m more disconnected from online shenanigans (but at the same time I haven’t learned yet how to limit this need or desire for more online connection later in the evening like when I’m supposed to be falling asleep but I scroll through Youtube for an hour and wake myself up more and all of that. Bleh. Work in progress still, though, eh?)
On “Be a tourist–on the way home” — I often do this exercise in the winter and fall months and have especially done so this past season. Especially when admiring people’s Halloween or Christmas decorations. 😁 Also, spring, too, when it comes to the blossomed trees! 🌸
p. 84-85 I actually really adore this exercise under “Wide-open space.” Enjoy your spaciousness!!
On “Relax, you’re home”‘s practice, I really loved this and found it to be helpful.
p. 105 I’m actually grateful and happy that it snowed at the time of my reading and writing this page flag in the book itself, rather than being glad it didn’t rain that day, as in the example. 😊
I’ve actually done versions of “Your worry basket” in the group at work I have called ‘Unpacking: Interactivity.’ So, it’s nice and cool to see it in use and reference within this book, too!
p. 147 The chapter on “Shoulders of loving-kindness” reminds me of how I’ve more often told in groups to patients that when they are tearful and upset, we hold space for them where we are united in togetherness and they are not alone in facing their emotions or experiences; which is similar to this prompt within this book. Something I’ve said before: We’re on different boats on the same pond. 🩵🩵💙💙
p. 153 I really gotta do more coworkers appreciation cards again. 😗💜
p. 171 I really gotta work on some fanfic writing again. Some prompts in this book reminded me of them and 2 weeks ago I had major writing vibes but didn’t get to see it through. ☹️ I’ve been writing plenty at work, new groups and documenting, but not a lot of fics lately. I do have to reread a lot of them and I just haven’t made time for that lately. I mean, I guess I’ve written reviews more too, so there’s that. Le sigh. Writing fic stuff would be something I want to make time for and schedule in soon. I did have some dreams about fic characters that almost always leads to me writing again, but that was about 2 weeks ago when I had the Vibes, and didn’t get to fulfill them. Maybe I can take some of a look into that tomorrow when I’m at work since it’s planned to be a lighter and easier day. We’ll see!! (At the time of writing this: 2/21/24; at the time of typing and editing this BES: I didn’t go to work today, I made a smidge of time to reread a fanfic and maybe tomorrow will be better for all things involved.)
p. 175 Awww. Mokes is kind. In this flag, Mokes had poked her nose into my bedroom door haha
Is it possible to be so mindful and in the moment that you’re actually so unaware that that’s what you are? 😗
p. 197 Avengers: Endgame reminder if you squint. But overall this prompt is nice and freeing. 🖤🖤🖤
p. 231 The guided prompt of being a kite on “Empty your mind” is pretty soothing and nice to me!
“You may also want to explore sharing a practice with your partner, a child, a group of friends or colleagues. In this case, everyone does the practice at the same time while one person reads it or while listening to a recorded version of the instructions. It can be very rewarding to spend some time afterward sharing and discussing each person’s experience” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 13) >> I noticed that this book doesn’t have any direct line of copyright infringement that most books have, meaning that you’d have to write the publisher if you want to include long quotes in a review of any kind, so in the future when I do my video review of this book, I may include a couple of the practices, my most favorite ones, and record them and maybe summarize a couple others. So, stay tuned for that inclusion!! I will quote a few here as well, in this review, of course! Enjoy!!
On “Not only the expert”:
“Quietly, in your heart and mind, ask a question such as ‘Who am I besides the information I manage and the skills I possess?’ or ‘What am I besides the work I do?’ Listen for all the responses. Repeat the question if necessary” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 47) >> I like this a whole lot. It has plenty of potential, too. Identity work and such. For me: I’m an artist, reader, compassionate, creative…
On “Humor me, please” >> I’d LOVE to create both a digital (blog) and Youtube related list of comedic things or standups or comics I really, really enjoy and that make me laugh quite a lot! This would be a great blog post officially as well as some Youtube reactions or edits! (~p. 71). A sneak peek? Think: Josh Johnson, Greg Warren, Tommy Ryman, Steve Hofstetter, The Basement Yard
On “Mind Walk”: “In this mind walk, you’ll travel inward, through your own mind, and slow down so you can really take a look at and acknowledge what you’re thinking and feeling. Along your leisurely mental stroll, take notice of he details of what’s bothering you, where you’re at emotionally and what brought you there: ‘Did your day leave you drained, scattered or disoriented? What creative activities can you arrange to help alleviate this weighty outlook?’ When you slow down your pace, even for a few minutes, in order to take note of the ebb and flow of your feelings, you unlock the doorway to emotional healing and extraordinary insight, which all too often get pushed aside because of a hurried schedule” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 76-77) >> This is ALL a great example of a self check-in which is a group I really want to work on and finish/complete so that I can present it at work as a new group. It is a WIP at the moment, but finishing it would be liberating. 🪽🪽🪽
On “Get out of the rut” (p. 80 – 81); Some ideas I have for trying once a week things I haven’t done before or it’s been a long time since I have include (my own list): video games, bathing, reading books, art specifics, video editing, journey to a new or different library, resting, listening to new music/new podcasts, completing a new group for work or an art project (coloring, water coloring, creative writing, etc.)
On “Waterfall of the mind”: “While seated comfortably with your eyes closed, transport your mind and body to a peaceful lagoon with a gentle waterfall. From where you sit, you can see and hear the refreshing cascade of water showering over ancient rocks worn smooth over time. You approach the waterfall and find the temperature is just to your liking. As you stand beneath the falls, you feel the inner serenity that is washing over you, refreshing and renewing you from head to toe” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 94-95) >> I really, really, really like this!! It actually reminds me of “Forest Waterfall” by Greg Suchy that I include in my Guided Imagery group at work (and arguably I could and should write my own versions of. ….One day!!!)
On “Never alone”: “You cannot fall out of the universe” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 177) >> This line in particular inspires a lot of fanfic potential for me! I’m leaning towards an MCU Loki and House MD crossover–maybe one of two. I’ve always had the idea of Hilson discovering an injured Loki while camping that I never got around to writing. So maybe that or another fic from this line altogether. ‘Falling out of the universe’ would be a good title, even. 🙂 Fic potential read on 1/15/24, handwritten 2/21, typed 2/22/24
On “Staircase to sleepy-town”: Very likely to be an already recorded guided meditation worthy of looking up and me even recording this prompt to include in the Video Book Review plus as a separate piece of my own in the future (i.e. I could narrate the prompt and add some B roll footage for instance; or find others’ video meditations on the prompt and link them in a future video.) ((p. 205))
On “Your precious life”: “Acknowledge this day as one of many days in a month, a year and over the years of your lifetime. Recall that you have had many days–good and bad; many relationships—pleasing and painful; many experiences–pleasant and unpleasant. Allow yourself to feel deeply the fullness and richness of your life, remembering that life is made of much more than just one day or one event” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 217) >>> Such a good reminder!! This is something I’ve done in my artwork and similar in my recovery and now again in groups where I talk (not always the content itself but I could write something of it, actually) but I say that life is comprised of trillions of moments and when this one is particularly painful, it will end at some point and it will pass and it’s only one tough moment out of trillions more to come and experience. 😗😊⭐❤️❤️❤️ Hold On, Pain Ends.
Cardiophile feel and some general fanfic potential on p. 221’s prompt 😁 (placing your hands over your heart and practicing feeling kindness and compassion.)
On “Mental holiday”: “Visualize your perfect vacation. Take notice of what it is about it that makes it calm and relaxing. Is it the warmth of the sun on your shoulders? The smell of freshly cut grass? Are you lying in a hammock or sitting under a tree? Are you reading a book, watching a sunset or just doing nothing?” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 227) >> I liked this a whole lot!!! I’d definitely be in a library somewhere. Definitely has potential to flesh out more and I could make some art/videos around it, too! 💙💙💙💙
CRITICAL CORNER:
It dawned on me early on in this book that my use of the term ‘intention’ and its use by the Authors may actually be different haha. I thought of intention as intentional, like full awareness and having particular and calculated meaning behind it but as I read the book it seemed to be used as more of a meditative usage for what to get out of the mindful practice itself. Like, they’re similar but with different… er, intentions. Different reasonings. Like the difference between I intend to use my time in X, Y, Z manner vs in this practice (like in yoga) I intend to demonstrate understanding or find peace. A slightly different way of looking at the practice itself. But, maybe I’m judging and comparing too much, too, haha. Or maybe I’m not explaining it right and it really is the same thing… Who knows! 🤣
Some valid points in the chapter “S.O.S: message overload” on p. 110 – 111. That’s it. That’s the criticism. I actually liked the tips, I just hadn’t a clue where to put them in this review haha. And I didn’t feel the dire need to quote them. I’d say, if you’re having trouble with lots of messages incoming, check out this chapter!!
On “Give the gift of inner space”: “Soon after you arrive home and get settled, give yourself the gift of personal space and privacy by putting emails and phone calls on hold for a time… For a specific period of time, whether an hour or two, or all evening, consciously let go of email and let your voicemail answer any phone calls. Notice your inner reactions to the gift of space and time. Acknowledge all the feelings that arise for you. You may feel relief, gratitude or empowerment or you may feel boredom, guilt or worry. You can learn from any reaction, whether positive or negative” — (Brantley and Millstine, 2006, p. 114 – 115)
>>> I’m placing this above quote into Critical Corner because I think at the end of my workday I’ll welcome most messages as I can take my phone off of Do Not Disturb that it’s been on for 9+ hours. It’s freeing and nice (albeit yes, at times, distracting) to return to the world and my life outside of work. Also it feels like, for me, that I could try and attend to things I hadn’t been able to before, while working, if in no other way than in theory or for my cultivating on days off (making doctor’s calls on Wed’s). I guess it all depends! It’s still interesting though. I can understand limiting work related emails when I’m at home or only briefly checking on my days off.
MY EXPERIENCE: WHAT KEPT ME READING & THE BOOK’S IMPACT ON ME:
I know my blog has become rather silent over the years, but I’m really looking forward to more reviews and reading adventures this year (2024) as well as publishing those things again on my blog, as it’s been a very long time and I’d love to do more of these and improve them by making them shorter and more enhanced, overall!! (Maybe I’ll join GoodReads one day? Or try to get some sponsorships for making reviews? Who knows! The sky is the limit!)
As for this book, there’s a bit of a story behind it: I finally decided at the end of Dec. 2023 that I’d pay off the “lost book” materials I had (I still have the fiction book but now I just own it) on the ⛵library network card so that I could officially and finally let go of the ideal to read a book that I’d had out for 2 years+ but was in a standstill of not making any progress in finishing on my own, as evident by not touching it for all of 2023. I still have to finish reading it one day, but it was nice to just let go and say, “You know what? I’ll just keep this and figure that out at a later point in time. It’s time now to let this go and try again with new books I take out, to do better now than what I have over my head from the past.” Essentially.
What that means is that now I’m in good standing with the ⛵ libraries again and I could therefore NOW be able to check out some books again for the first time in a couple of years! (At least from this library network.)
I have still been reading some books I’ve had out for almost a year from the ⌚library network. I have 3 for sure and I think I dropped off a couple or so from some time still in 2023. There’s a book on Adulting, overcoming anxious procrastination and a book on letting go of productivity guilt (i.e read: my last incomplete book review post). The first two I’m STILL in progress of reading (I finished the procrastination in Jan. ’24 actually! That is my next review to work on.) The procrastination book I hit another lull in but I’m looking forward to the chapter I will have coming up next just on time management and those skills–which essentially prompted me to start looking through the ⛵library books on time management (some okay finds, but I’ve seen better in other libraries).
Once I paid off the library card, in January I came by again and saw a few books propped up on a circular desk on all things new year, new goals oriented for self improvement and growth. I found THIS book there.
I was really attracted to this book because:
It looked accessible and easy to read. It was a smaller commitment and it works for a nonfic book (which I find is MUCH easier to read than fiction as of the last couple of years). It wasn’t the longest thing ever and the chapters were short and I was intrigued
It’s also all about mindfulness and that’s always good and cool with me
I thought I could use it, especially for the evening and I could get some cool ideas from it
I’d never seen it before (or maybe I had and just didn’t realize it completely). So I was interested
I didn’t know it then, but it was SUCH an enjoyable read. Enough so, that I want to read the rest in the series.
I thought of reading this book as an easy to accomplish challenge. It would progress me forwards with my reading goals and writing reviews goals and I needed the win. It seemed worthy of that incentive I had behind reading it and taking it out.
One of the great things about reading it, is that it now HAS accomplished my dreams and hopes, probably even better than I could have imagined!! I genuinely only took 5 days to read this book and much of that was often one night after another and I have noticed a significant change in my evenings here and there with those habits (not perfect, but that’s okay and it IS all learning experiences!!). It worked probably even better because this week (Jan. 17th, 2024) is my 5 day work week and I’ve really, really been able to carve out some enjoyable time to read a book and have that be something I do at the end of the night after work and just relax and enjoy, which is SO nice. I read this book in a faster time than I could have imagined and it was SO nice. I really looked forward to it and the quickness of the chapters was super nice and enthralling to engage with and move forward with enjoyment and drive, earning that success each page that was turned! I also often wrapped up in a blanket in my bed with my bed heater on and just used my newer page flags as I worked and jotted little notes with black pens on the flags I put on. I also often listened to ambient Calm app background noise as I worked (or Cozy Cottage‘s Christmas and Halloween music lives!) It was just SO FUN!
I actually have a lot of books on mindfulness though many of them I have NOT read. It was just such a nice little course in mindfulness and the practices that can help engaging in that skill. It’s a beautiful and imperfect system and I just exceeded my expectations as I’m thinking I’ll be able to release this review before the end of the month (I’m not sure if I thought I meant Jan or Feb, but Feb is good still too) and I’m even more intrigued with the next few books I took out (although I’ll have to go back to the adulting and procrastination books at some point!!)
Something that helped a LOT with the creation of this BES was the idea of ‘the opposite of avoidance is approaching’ and how in some work groups I’ve spoken about how if I do avoid reading a book because it got tough, and I experience relief and release of tension through other bits of procrastination, when I still go back to the original source of stress, i.e, the unfinished book, I’ll still have the same amount of pages or work to do regardless, in fact, I’ll probably have INCREASED my stress levels MORE than what I had facing myself beforehand. Basically? Avoidance doesn’t help very much. I could be avoiding reading 50 pages but after I’m done avoiding, I STILL have 50 pages left to read. It just perpetuates further pain and stuckness than well, not. Than, well, pushing through it and getting through the book as I would have to do eventually anyways. So, that’s a really interesting lesson I’m taking away from this book. Yay!
I think this book has given me a sense of peace and reprieve that I didn’t realize I’d need as much as I did. It’s already influenced me more at work and finding those small enriching moments of little mindfulness treats. I’ve practiced it a few times when being more willing when struggling to fall asleep or eating a chocolate M&M mindfully or referencing mindfulness and the 5 senses when talking about approaching laundry chores from a group at work. I also have some absolute favorite gems that I hope I’ll be able to return to and favor and establish again in the future. This book is great for little reminders of mindfulness and having that reprieve through the rough and the hard days and that little boost of effort on the nicer and relaxing days.
I could write dozens more paragraphs on this book alone, (honestly, I’m writing this part first haha) but I’m sure the prior sections have comprised those thoughts, ideas and prompts far better than this section here ahaha. It was just SUCH a great read and such a gem of light and prosperity. I hope that this review might sparkle in your mind an interesting future read for yourself and that you take just as much away from it if you decide to read this book as I did. Thanks!! 💜💜🩷🩷
NEXT UP….
READING:
“Look out for the little guy!” by Scott Lang with Rob Kutner
“Bring your fiction to life” by Karen S. Wiesner
REVIEWING:
“The Worrier’s Guide to Overcoming Procrastination” (Workbook) by Pamela S. Wiegartz, Ph.D and Kevin L Gyoerkoe Psy.D
Thank you… Thank YOU so much for reading this review. I hope that you enjoyed it. If you have other books or ideas or prompts or blogs or videos or fanfics that you’d really, really like to see me read, review, analyze, share my thoughts on, share reactions on and the like, feel free to always leave that down below or follow me on my other social medias!!! I cannot thank you enough for reading. Here’s hoping I’ll get more into the blogosphere game again soon this year with all of these reviews and posts and fun stuff again!! See you soon. xx — Raquel
(Minus one oversimplification at the end of the book on you having complete control over your perceptions rather than merely your perspective. 🤷🏻♀️)
THEMES:
Simple, simplicity, minimizing over-complications in life, quotes, photographs, other authors, name drops, mentions, decluttering your mind, decluttering your life, simple read, with elements that are still worthy of more explanation, blurbs, business book, Author’s voice, inspiration, creativity, easy read, reader friendly, lists, artwork, values, priorities.
SUMMARY:
Mental health blogger meets business book for her first ever read of the genre? That’s basically this entire review hahaha. I took this book out from the library when there was the New Year, New You section at a table and I thought (not realizing yet it was a business book) ‘Huh, isn’t that interesting?’ And perusing the book itself, to me it looked pretty user/Reader friendly, easy to digest, filled with quotes and pictures and just seemed doable, which I desperately needed at the time of my new year’s book journey. So, I took it out. And I READ IT ALL in two days. Which is AMAZING–because that’s the shortest time frame since at least 5+ years for me as well as the fact that I read ANOTHER book at the same time frame in FIVE DAYS. I was making all sorts of strides and accomplishments in January 2024!!!
Back to this book, it took me a while before I warmed up to it or before it became more relevant for my life and my path as a Reader. I think it was still somewhat worthwhile and if nothing else, I previewed a different genre (I’m more of a nonfic self-help, psychology, interior design, adulting; and some types of fiction type of gal) and am still interested in trying it out again in the future in case this book just wasn’t it for me but something else might still be! Huzzah!!
So read on for MY review of this book and my thoughts and how I interacted with it. And when you have a moment and you’d like to hear my actual voice, I’ll update this post with the published and edited video book review component. Until then, I hope you continue reading on! Or check out some of my other posts. Carry on, Reader!!! 🫡🫡🫡🩵🩵🩵
Rule of thumb: if the text is bigger and more LOUD (heading differences, not necessarily bold text), it’s because I include that within the video book review itself, to make it easier if you read this and watch that later or watch that and read this later. Just a little nod to that amount of work! 😜😉
BOOK LENGTH:
105 pages
MY RECOMMENDATION SCORE:
⭐⭐⭐🌓/ 5
(3.5/5)
OUTSTANDING QUOTES, DETAILS OF IMAGES:
Picture shown above, located on p. XVIII: I found this picture to be so cool: so tranquil and patterned. Very beautiful and such an interesting blue. (I will share this photograph in the video book review as well.)
“The same holds true for the rest of our lives. Get the basics right with your family, your values, your health, your spirit and you’ve created a fulfilling, happy and successful life” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 14)
> It took a while before values were mentioned in this book but he got it right, eventually!!
“As the great inventor Alexander Graham Bell said, ‘Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to focus.’ Author: Our work is like the sun. It doesn’t burn bright until brought to a focus” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 26)
>> The first time I read this, I was 💯 sure the author had mixed up his metaphors with a loud sigh from me. Now, I’m not AS sure so I’d mark me as confused and again reiterate if I hadn’t stuck through with the rest of this book’s pages, I probably would have left from this point (probably the 5th try to make it through before giving up). But I ain’t no quitter. Hah.
Doesn’t the sun always burn bright, regardless of its focus? Sometimes more IS clarifying.
A quote that I really liked and felt got it right is on p. 27 by Marianne Williamson:
“We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what’s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what’s right.”
>> I really like this because…. (my writing is illegible). So false… water?? [Maybe: such a… for us…(though difficult)] reminder for mental health conditions recovery!] [I learned imperfection still needs to be legible so I switched to pen later after this full back and front page. Live and learn, I guess? Never pair a light and light Ohuhu alcohol marker on a bleed through page. Best dark – dark. No light then dark. 🩷🩷🩶🩶]
**Perceive… Originally I took this as perspective rather than perception, which is relevant to a final point later in this review. Huh, color me confused again. Hah
“What are the 3 most important things in your life, your work? Those 3 most important things that you must do well every day to create success, happiness or fulfillment?” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 37)
[[THIS WILL BE INCLUDED IN THIS BES AS WELL AS THE VIDEO BOOK REVIEW]]
“Look at your daily choices….” (SEE THIS ARTSY POINT IN THE CREATIVITY CASTLE SECTION)
It took me almost 50 pages into this book before I found really relevant information and developed an interesting and reciprocal relationship with this book. This is what REALLY did it for me:
“It’s so much easier to come up with twenty priorities than it is to come up with 3 priorities. The obvious problem with 20 priorities is that it’s a faulty concept. You can’t focus on everything. Having 20 priorities means having NO priorities” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 48)
My commentary: I like that these paragraphs are finally relevant and helpful towards me and my reading experience. They are good reminders. Difficult for me as I’m ideally ambitious, though, hahaha
[Image Description]: The yellow background here is so nice and positive, helped by the image included of a singular succulent, upside down silver pen and a spiral notebook with New Year, Goal, Plan, Action checked off. 💛💛💛🧡🧡🧡
“We don’t do great things just because we have an intellectual understanding of them; we do great things because we have an emotional commitment to them” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 65)
>> I LOVE this. What a true and poignant statement–we do things not in a vacuum but as an ongoing process, to which the heart counts so much!! What a beautifully crafted message I’ve penned down more than once! — Oops, Wilson (Western Conifer Seed Bug) was just flying by and he scared me!
There’s an image on p. 82 that I will NOT be including but from which I had this thought process:
What I like about this image is that it’s team building various letters to the word ‘success.’ So much in life is done as a community, with the efforts of togetherness. So much like the quote about lighthouses that they are both a symbol of our isolation and ultimate connectedness to each other. (Virginia Woolf)
“Those who deal most successfully with all of [life’s unexpected, unanticipated or unfair events] are the ones with the attitude that indeed whatever happens is normal. That doesn’t mean that whatever happens is acceptable or pleasant. But it does mean that changes and surprises are a part of life, and we can choose to either roll with the changes or have the changes roll over us” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 94)
>> Overall? I thought this was solid and really worthwhile. Even, dare I say, impactful. Maybe not the MOST MEMORABLE thing ever from this book but it still packs a worthy mention. 🩶🩶
THOUGHTS OR IDEAS I HAD WHILE READING:
What disclaimers would my future books either have or hold? 😙
I enjoyed the image on p. XIV of shoes with colored chalk arrows curved into different directions.
Some of the pages with quotes and images reminds me of how I want to use quotes in my groups book 🩷🥰
An observation I held for a note on p. 30: Feels like this book is missing a lot but this bit on a flamethrower vs acetylene torch is a bit better. I think I wrote down an interest I have in distractions and would like more books and info on that in other books in the future. Like, reading up on it and why it happens and how to get around it. 🙂
Who IS Steve Maraboli? And what has he created? I’ve used his quotes before in groups, haha. One of his quotes is featured on p. 75: “The greatest step toward a life of simplicity is to learn to let go”
p. 86: Has another interesting photograph as a pretty image of large, tall rocks on a beach shore with the ocean water smooth and bokeh balls of light as the setting sun shines through with many rays. I wonder if the lens had droplets on it?
“Look at your daily choices, activities and decisions, and ask yourself your own version of ‘will this make the boat go faster?’: Will this get me where I want to go? Will this help me create positive relationships?” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 42)
> I felt this was really thought provoking and worthy of being mentioned both in this BES and (hopefully, if I remember) in the video review itself too. I could probably even extrapolate more on this and turn it into a couple of talking points in future videos. Maybe incorporate it into the self check-in thing/group I want to do. 😀 This is pretty powerful overall and marks one of the earliest turning points for me reading this book.
“Whether it’s your vision, your mission, your family values or your goals for the year, try to make it twenty words or less. Write it so that a child can understand it” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 59)
>> I really just felt this was a relevant group topic to represent. And, it’s some solid advice–though, again, incredibly difficult: something I can continue to ponder, but as a long-winded writer and chattery person, this WILL be tough. I’m not great at simple and few words. Clearly. Lmao 🤣
**Make my own Let It Go List (finish at the end of this review and mention within the video book review as a final photograph).
The prompt:
“Now is the time for you to make your own let it go list and clear the space for you to get focused on what’s most important and productive in your life” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 78 – 79).
The ideas:
Perfection
Procrastinating
Avoidance
“Avoiding the person I need to have a conversation with” (Calloway, 2018, p. 78)
So, I actually wound up switching this up! Instead of a ‘Let It Go’ list, which I feel like I’ve been focusing on a lot these past few months, I wound up doing a ‘Let It Rise’ list, where it’s the things I want to have MORE OF or INVITE INTO my life, rather than focusing on letting it go. Here it is! I will try to remember to include a photograph of it in the video book review (that is all set and filmed as of Fri 2/16; I just have to place it onto my computer and edit it! 🙂) :
“My dear friend, CEO Arnie Malham says, ‘If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing wrong.’ What he means is that if we wait until we feel that we’ll do it perfectly, we’ll never do it, and if we never do it, then it’s an opportunity lost. Arnie says, ‘Do it. Do it wrong. Then do it better.'” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 79)
>> I LOVE THIS!!!!! Reminds me of the whiteboard drawing in the office at work that I did last week (2/10 as of writing this bit). It’s SO TRUE and SO IMPACTFUL. I needed this reminder! I may even work this into some new artwork renditions around this quote/idea? Oooo. 🤩😍🥰
Another amazing picture inclusion that also appears in the video book review is this gem:
Image on p. 84: one of startling beauty. 💛💛💛 Cascading, descending strings of light from the ceiling.
I LOVE this photo inspiration on p. 89 which involves a mason jar with lit fairy lights inside of it, set on a rock with the evening light in the background along with a cloudy sky. I would LOVE to recreate this myself some day. 💙💙
CRITICAL CORNER:
This book is pretty fast paced, small for its size and not always descriptive of meaning and intention of its inclusions of either quotes or photographs or small vignettes
This premise felt a little disjointed to me: “The first step, of course, is determining what really matters most. With that in mind, we can simplify any problems you are facing in life” p. IX
>> Since when did a united ‘we’ problem become a ‘you’ centered disconnection? For instance, “we” > “you” instead of “we” > “we.”
I guess there’s a question to me as to why I should listen to this Author and their take on the subject matter. I felt we just hadn’t established that rapport yet or connection. Luckily, I’m stubborn and would have had to finish this book regardless on if it was a difficult or grueling experience. Luckily for me, about half way through is when it started to speak to me in a more relatable fashion and I got something meaningful and worthwhile out of the reading experience. This was also my FIRST ever read of a business book. I’m not convinced that I’ll try them again in the future but I suppose it depends on the author and their style. (Reactions from p. 1)
I’ve never read a business book before and this talk on simplicity instead feels rather complex haha 😅 I feel like so much more could be said and explored, adding more depth and less misunderstanding or extrapolation from the Reader to do all the work. Some further guidance to gleam all the necessary points would be super helpful and humanizing. 🖤🖤 (Reactions from p. 3)
Reflections from p. 20: I feel like this book is trying hard to be inspirational without backing it up nearly as much as it could or arguably should.
Reflections from p. 25: I wish he would specify his thoughts more because in the world of business, I’m not sure what he means. It is lackluster in clear communication and my full capability to understand it—and I want to understand it. ☹️🥺😥
Reflections on p. 52 on George C. Marshall: I don’t see the relevancy here with this contribution and highlight. I have zero context to work or deal with, which sucks and is unfortunate. I wish I could better understand. 🥺😖 It’s gone way over my head.
“Progress happens one small step at a time. It begins with knowing that we may not always control the circumstances around us, but we always have total control over our perception of those circumstances” — (Calloway, 2018, p. 99)
>> I don’t know about the PURE validity with this. You can’t control your reaction–however you can control your response. But the perception of it, itself? I’m not sure. Within the context of mental health conditions and trauma? I think it’s ultimately a lot more complicated than this oversimplification, ironically so. I think the perspective of it is far more tangible than how the perception of it actually is.
Despite all my criticisms of this book, I do still hold interest in another one of this author’s works that I’ll mention in just a moment. I’m willing to give it another fair shot before I determine if this author’s style is just not my most enjoyable read. In the video review, I refer to this as the difference likely from Jen Sincero of ‘You Are A Badass’ and her counterpart book ‘You Are A Badass At Making Money’– both of which I’ve never read but I feel from her general style that it would be an enjoyable and interesting read regardless. 🙂 SO the book I’m also interested in by this author, it’s a long one:
“Work like you’re showing off: the joy, jazz and kick of being better tomorrow than you were today” by Joe Calloway.
NEXT UP…
For reviews: “Five Good Minutes in the Evening” (2006) by Jeffrey Brantley, MD and Wendy Millstine NC
For actual reading: “Bring Your Fiction to Life” (2017) by Karen S. Wiesner &
“Look Out for the Little Guy” (2023) by Scott Lang and Robert Kutner
Thank you.
Hi again! This post is almost entirely finished and I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU for reading it all the way through!! I’m considering in the future of creating a Table of Contents use for these reviews as a more easier access and user friendly basis. I honestly have NO IDEA who is still reading my blog and I do wish to put more time back into it, there’s soooo much I could tell you all about in my life, but for now it’s not a super high priority for me (Reddit, Youtube and fan fiction sites is where I’m most at these days!!). Blogging is still something I’m doing throughout these other socials but definitely Youtube and Reddit is where more of that comes out nowadays. Regardless, I will continue to be doing more book related content between this blog and the Youtube channel (and if you have tips for how to create the BEST video book review, PLEASE let me know!!! I have never watched anyone else do it before and have like 0% insight or understanding of it and I’d love to include books and book content more into my social media (let alone real) life more so I’d love to learn and improve and get better!!! Yay!)
Any who, thank you so much for reading, finding, stumbling and sticking around. I’ll see you again soon!! Maybe in the next posts!
Sending light and love; and stay safe!
— Raquel
TRACKING DATES AND TIMES OF DAY I READ THIS BOOK:
1/17/2024 (evening, later evening), 1/19/24 (mid-morning, late evening; completed reading.)
TRACKING DATES AND TIMES OF DAY I WROTE THIS REVIEW:
“I Didn’t Do the Thing Today” (2022) by Madeleine Dore
((nonfic))
THEMES:
Productivity, reframes, change, growth, self-help, reflection, self reflection, introspection, progress, quotes, excerpts, releasing the need to do more and be more and always be improving and having the pressure of that weigh heavily on your shoulders, finding worth in the unexpected unravelings of the day, procrastination elements, time, standards, imperfection, worth, psychology, human behavior, goals/goal setting, recharging, taking breaks
SUMMARY:
Something you have to know about this book if this is your first time glimpsing into it:
I ADORE the author’s writings. While this particular Book Exploration Station review is very, very, very much incomplete, I do look so very forward to re-reading and re-completing reading this book in the future. It’s with immense dread and an urge to be free that I am relinquishing this book back into the ether to return back to its rightful place within the library I took it out from because I very much realize that I cannot, at this time, do it justice by keeping it and just endlessly not reading it, day in and day out. But, I AM making progress in other books and actually just took out some new ones very recently to the making of this review in the new year, which is VERY exciting!!!
I think a big push towards this decision is the fact that I love her writing soooo much that I nearly have one page flag for every page I read thus far and I was only ever 40 pages into the review!!! Which, is lovely and I have SO MUCH to say about it, but since the last time I read this book was back in… what, September 2023? Yeah, I’ve accepted that I won’t be returning to it right away and it’s best to just give it back for now and try again another time (I have seen it in my local library and that gives me hope and joy!).
Reading books nowadays is very much a challenge in my anxious feelings. And, maybe it’s fitting that for a book on relinquishing efforts and detrimental efforts towards productivity culminated in my realizing, ‘Raquel, I know you WANT to read this book, but for now, this year isn’t it (2023). Let’s give it back and try again in the future.’ Like, that, if nothing else, is growth. (I took this book out a legitimate YEAR ago sooooo, yeah).
So I may not have YET done this thing today, and, that’s okay. When I return to this book in the future, I will begin where I left off. I’m dusting it off for now, going through the page flags I DID mark and preserving my progress through this part one of a review, with the intention of returning and truly dedicating my time and efforts to it in the future. A beginning, of sorts. A continuation. Not the end of the story, just a pause. And, that’s okay. I think this book has ALREADY been life changing for me and I love it so dearly–and I haven’t even finished it, so really, I think if you are wanting to learn about productivity and escaping the confines of that and how it’s about finding the worth and the joy in each day and moment, regardless of how much we strictly ‘output’ in the day, then this book is for your eyes and to feast and nurture your soul!
So, come read the rest of what I have to say thus far. And then come back in the future when the full review is written and published on my blog here. Plus, at some point, there will probably be a video review version as well. We’ll see if I make that only at the very end of completing reading the entire book or if I squish it into this partial review version…. I genuinely only thought of that idea now hahaha Either way, read forth and read plenty!! Thank you so much for stopping by. Sending light and love. 💙💙🩵🩵🩶🩶
BOOK LENGTH TOTAL:
289 pages
CURRENT PROGRESS UP UNTIL:
Page 40
MY RECOMMENDATION SCORE:
INCOMPLETE/5
OUTSTANDING QUOTES AND IDEAS:
There’s this opening stanza to the book about the things that hadn’t been done today through a first person POV and the lines that I really liked in particular include: “I didn’t write. I didn’t start; I didn’t finish. I didn’t achieve; I didn’t progress” — (Dore, 2022, p. VI?)
“Whenwe conflate productivity with worthiness, what we do is never enough. We can always do more, and there is always more to do. There’s the laundry thing, the catch-up thing, the replying to a text thing, the grocery shopping thing, the cooking thing, the cleaning thing, the creative thing, the exercise thing, the work thing, the medical thing, the thing we ought to do, the thing we don’t want to do, the thing we’ve put off despite it being the one important thing” — (Dore, 2022, p. 4)
>> I just really, really loved this paragraph above. It’s so, so on point and so true and I swear the majority of the book that I have read just has these really important, critical and hard-hitting concepts that I could just completely relate to and found so much comfort and ease in and I wanted to flag it over and over again. This is truly a special read. I can’t wait until I can say I finished reading this book one day!! 🙂😇
Imperfection is about completion and finishing. Perfect is unfinished and an impossible standard that results in lack of work and what feels most often like a lack of progress. That’s my summary for a flag I set forth on p. 5. You’re welcome!
“In our obsession with doing, we can overlook that life has a way of intervening in our plans for a productive day: distractions come to the fore, things fall through, responsibilities arise unexpectedly, and our minds and bodies don’t always cooperate with our expectations” — (Dore, 2022, p. 7)
>> Once again, I just found this to be so, SO true and so relatable. A big point that Dore makes in just these short 40 pages thus far is that there is STILL worth in a day even if all that ‘productivity’ never came to be. I remember reading that sometimes we maybe planned for a half hour conversation with a friend over the phone but then it turned into an hour and a half conversation, which may not have been something we could have expected or planned on, and yet, even if that happens and maybe we didn’t hit EVERY thing on our to-do list; does that make the day less worthwhile or really just something to be accepted and embraced and we try again tomorrow to adjust and be flexible and so forth? That was something that really stuck with me and struck me and I’m glad to be able to share it from this book just thus far in what I have actually read. A beautiful and humanizing read, that’s for sure!
Our expectations of the day at the start of it, or the night before, cannot always account for the discrepancies or the longer time it takes for things and instead of beating ourselves up for that and feeling dread and anxiety and turning maybe towards avoidance for comfort, this book calls for instead, dusting ourselves off, reflecting on what went well and what could be better, and try again for tomorrow fresh and new.
Dore’s beautiful concept of this book: “We don’t want to forgo the doing, or give up the joy we feel on the days we did do the thing, but rather see that what we do in each day will look different” — (2022, p. 9)
>> I liked this A LOT!! Again, that matter of reflection and finding worth is huge and runs rampant in this book and I love and adore it greatly! *An additional point made from this part can be found in the Critical Corner section!
“But even in the uneventful days, when instead of doing the thing we set out to, we puttered or tooled around, we can find something worthwhile nestled in the hours. Maybe it didn’t make us money or progress our career, but it, too, can imbue the day with meaning–a thought, a conversation with a friend, a new recipe to try, a walk outside, a smile from a stranger, taking a nap. Why can’t these small things be counted among the doing in our days, too?” (Dore, 2022, p. 11)
>> Mmm, yes, see? The point I made earlier. I love that the most and the most dearly about this book. I can only imagine the more nuggets and gems in the remainder of this book, for now!
“By requesting someone else’s how-to manual, I was overlooking the need for me to navigate my own life” — (Dore, 2022, p. 13)
>>> This concept is brought up when Dore talks about how she was often interviewing and asking highly successful people how they productively plowed through their days and achieved the things they had achieved, when she realized that she was applying an unequal comparison between herself and them because she is inherently NOT them and therefore, would need a different skill set and viewpoint in which to orient herself moving forwards (essentially highlighting the point that you can only reasonably compare yourself today to whom you were yesterday rather than some other completely different entity itself. “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20.”
I enjoyed the realistic and solid idea behind how reasonably one’s days will ebb and flow with productivity and doing the thing and other days not so much, and that this is an inherently human and understandable thing to recognize and sift through (paraphrased; Dore, 2022, p. 17)
“Productivity tells us to live sequentially, but our days rarely unfold in perfect order. Not only does each day vary, but we also vary within them. We are constantly shifting, creating, and re-creating parts of ourselves. I have come to see the value in being more flexible with the order and shape of things: I can see what I have done, or what I can do differently, or what can still be done later. I can find ways to expand my day beyond a certain kind of doing and define my own process and try to untether from the linear expectations of productivity” (Dore, 2022, p. 20)
>> I thought this was particularly interesting and something worthy of mentioning within this review. Embracing the imperfect can be pretty fun and fulfilling–I’m continuing to find!!! Yey!
“Whereas a productivity lens may mean that waiting in line at the supermarket looks like time spend inefficiently, a creativity lens can reveal the importance of cultivating patience, tolerance and curiosity in all the in-between moments of our days” — (Dore, 2022, p. 21)
>>> I really love this and thought it was such an inviting and logical point of view that I don’t think many of us naturally take, especially when these “perfect plans” turn into a really imperfect outcome. Imperfection can make me anxious and irritated as my first reaction until I can talk myself through it and ease into it, allowing myself to see that there is still inherent worth in those moments if I’m kinder to myself and take grace upon myself (which is a work in progress!!). I didn’t get many of the things I wanted to do today (Sat, 1/13) done and in that way it’s incredibly imperfect, and I’m still just trying to breathe through it and make peace and acceptance with it as I’ll be starting a 5 day work week soon, and I’ll need that strength and that okayness soon (especially as I’ve been more depressed today). It’s all a work in progress and I can still make gems out of the darkness. 🖤🖤🩵🩵🩵
“There is always a part in the creative process when we wish to give up entirely–but that part is integral if we want to create something worthwhile. It’s only by tumbling through this love and this hate of a thing that we engage with all its parts and transform it into something new” — (Dore, 2022, p. 22)
>> There’s an inherent kindness to Dore’s take on productivity and the societal productivity guilt that occurs when we don’t get that thing done that we wanted to, that I think is so poignant and important and compassionate throughout this book thus far. It just really paints a kindness and grace that I don’t think a lot of others out there do (not that I’ve read them though haha) which is so refreshing and nice. I was mentioning this book to patients the other day and again, it’s so bright and quite a light, and I only ever got 40 pages in, so I can’t wait until I can finish it more in the future and really give a full review. I liked this note a lot, especially.
“Perhaps reminding ourselves of what an extraordinary thing it is to have a day–a day where anything can happen–is a better goal that trying to optimize and render it perfect” — (Dore, 2022, p. 24)
>> I feel this book conveys a lot of the imperfection that is at the center of most things in life and while that can cause me to feel a little intimidated at first, it’s also incredibly limitless and liberating and, for that, I enjoy and cherish this book fondly. I really enjoyed this reflective reframe.
“We, too, can … embrace mistakes, be open to the inevitable ups and downs of life, the successes and failures, the potential of both the done and the not-yet-done” — (Dore, 2022, p. 25)
>> Today, especially, I adore this and I find it to be simply amazing. I can’t wait to be offline for the rest of the evening where I can have time to read a book again and get an idea for the rest of my week as well as just get a little begrudgingly ready for the next work day. I wish I did a lot more today, unfortunately, but I have to accept what is rather than what could have been. That would be the kindest thing to do. And the most level-headed. 💔💔💔
“When we treat our days like an experiment, we see it’s all part of the process–the failures, mistakes, and stumbles come with the territory. And those stumbles can help us deal with the knocks of daily life. As Ralph Waldo Emerson added, ‘What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.’ Each tumble in our days is an opportunity to learn, so we do not fall so hard the next time” — (Dore, 2022, p. 26)
>>> This reminds me of Brene Brown’s TEDtalk (which I have not seen myself, this one I’ll be referring to but I heard from a colleague in group the other day) about the differences between sympathy and empathy when someone falls into a hole and someone else responds to them. Additionally, again, this is just such a kind perspective and really hones in on the idea that everything in life is a learning experience and if you’re learning something, there can be worth in that and a light for what to change or not do the next time it rolls around (and it’s inevitable that it will). For instance, I continue to be reminded if I watch Youtube in the morning, I’ll naturally want to curl into bed, get warm and watch another video until I fall asleep for a few hours (read as: I did that Sat, and bleh). Whereas if I do the opposite and maybe read a book or play a video game (even if I am lying in bed) or if I take out a video to edit or color for half an hour, I can get myself through that moment and beyond. However, since that did not happen today, I can still try to choose grace and kindness for myself and approach the other to-do’s with more imperfection than I’m comfortable with, and move through it all the same. Le sigh
The concept of waiting for tomorrow to start over again when the day inevitably falls into chiding yourself for not getting X or Y done and then you wind up distracting and procrastinating: Ugh, THAT’S how it feels. Instead of embracing what is from what could have been and finding some glimmer within it, it’s easy to fall into the could have’s, should have’s and would have’s (which is what I’m stuck in right now). Sucks. Big time. (Paraphrased, p. 33) This is the epitome of the “perfection” trap too.
“We let the slight detour at the beginning prevent us from resuming the course” — (Dore, 2022, p. 33) >> That rigidity and deliberate pain of perfection costs greatly and costs dearly. I hate it, so much. (I’m caught in it now, but am too focused on the prize at the end that I mingle through the bloody mess.)
**“As Leo Tolstoy put it in War and Peace, ‘Once we’re thrown off our habitual paths, we think all is lost; but it’s only here that the new and the good begins. As long as there’s life, there’s happiness. There’s much, much still to come'” — (Dore, 2022, p. 37) >> Once upon a time, I really, really liked this quote a lot, though I feel that now I have less of a connection to it. I considered it some group potential, though I think with a little bit of tweaking it could still work now although I’m not sure I understand the context as much or as well now than I did in the past. The beginning and the last sentence have good potential. Hmmm. I’ll have to do something with this…. ***
I enjoy and find some encouragement and comfort in the idea that the experiences of the ruts that can be so painful and involve suffering are rarely enjoyed in the moment yet can bring hope to the other side that something new or something learned can be found through them, a silver lining if you will. I’m going through a rough one today so this provides me some light that I can endure and find solace in. (General idea, p. 39)
THOUGHTS AND IDEAS I HAD WHILE READING:
I should really make more time in my future/this year and the oncoming years to spend time on my own books/ideas and memoir entries. (Memoir paused for the last year or so because my recovery took an unexpected turn so I have to still wait until I have a lot more time in stability before I go back into old stuff.) I do want to write and publish a book on groups though! I have, since the last time I checked, about 38 of my own more or less groups so I’m planning to reach 55 by the end of 2024 and by 75-100 groups I want to publish. (A lot of this career change stuff is stuff I have to tell you guys about at some point, if you don’t follow my other socials, haha). One day!!!
I did in fact get a new planner for 2023 – 2024, so that was nice and helpful, and I got the reminder from this book for it to enter my mind haha
One page reminded me of a video game that I absolutely loveeee and haven’t finished yet on the Nintendo Switch called “Journey of the Broken Circle”. It’s a beautiful and incredible game. I was talking passionately about video games at work yesterday (1/10/24 at time of writing this) so I definitely am in need of sitting back in my pillows with my warm blankets and bed heater on just playing video games before I fall asleep at night!!! 😃🤩🤩
I have a lot more difficulty reading these days and the bit on p. 24, which I noted for my reading mistake (I’ll read a word, have a moment where it starts the same and I think to myself ‘that’s weird and doesn’t make any sense’ and when I look at it again, it’s an ENTIRELY different word that what I saw previously. It really makes reading difficult as if I can’t trust my own mind. Blegh) In this instance, I read “Tremendous Trifles” as “Tremendous Truffles” and I also didn’t understand the quote featured there in any capacity either. Blegh.
**Leo Tolstoy’s quote, as mentioned in the quotes section thus far, has some group potential for me that I’d just like to remind myself of in this little note. 💜💜💜🩶🩶🩶
CRITICAL CORNER:
Maybe something that could improve this book and it’s incredible message would be some illustrations and fancier ways of highlighting some of the concepts or text with larger font or a stylistic choice to enhance certain points. That way it’s a little more reader friendly for those of us with distracted minds and/or mental health struggles that a full on book of text can be more limiting or draining. Books with images, illustrations, breaks and things really are things I gravitate a lot more to now and they make a complicated system into a more tangible, user friendly and readily accessible experience, for me, at least! Then again, I didn’t make it super far in this book but I do like how the text is in it and there are some breaks with larger font for another point of the chapter, which is great and helpful, I think a little more of that would make it even better!
TRACKING DATES AND TIMES OF DAY I READ THIS BOOK THUS FAR:
Thanks so much for reading this current BES thus far!! While I DO look forward to taking this book out again in the future (let alone returning it to its library of place) I am a little uneasy that I’ll have 500 page flags for the remaining portion of the book hahaha But for now, this is the review thus far and I really just want to get it done, out, and published and not look back unless I’m making a reference video on my Youtube channel in the future. For now, I am tired. Very tired. And I’d like to sign off and be done with this as something of the thing I did today. Thanks so much for reading, if you’re out there!!! Many more reviews and interactions to come in the future.
“The Stress~Free Home: Beautiful Interiors for Serenity and Harmonious Living” (2005) by Jackie Craven
((nonfic: Interior/Home Design. Photos included throughout book.))
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
None! Trigger-free, wheeee!
THEMES:
Home, homes, home design, interior design, interior decorating, easy to read, quick chapters, photographs included throughout the book, broken down principles, philosophy, quotes, feng shui, Buddhism, zen, stress-free(r), serenity secrets, home improvement, self help, psychology, ancient wisdoms, enriched cultures, relaxation, nature, design tips, balance, vistu shastra, decluttering, an eye for enlightenment.
SUMMARY:
Why hello! Welcome to a nonfiction read that is bound to blast off your creative socks with information regarding home developments, interior design and creating a haven of a space where you can feel more at ease and more zen and above all, more STRESS~FREE. The world is already a complicated show of emotion at play, why not have the space of your home be something more relaxing as necessary as being energizing and fun? This book, by Jackie Craven, published almost 20 years ago (I wonder if much has changed since then!! She also has a few other similarly titled books and I really, really enjoyed this one so I’ll probably cover those in the future, too!!) really hones in on the ways, improvements and general things to think about expanding on or including in your home to provide a better sense of peace, wonder, freedom, family and overall well-goodness that Life can bring and store for us humans!
Outlining the basics of these ancient wisdoms, philosophies and principles, Craven touches on old and true with a splash of new and creative. She accounts for the interplay between human personalities and individuality of those residing in the home and how these shifts and changes can impact the feel and atmosphere of the room, even as much as the way objects are positioned, brought into play or bounce off each other. Her book, above all, is excellent to read and comb through, with well-structured paragraphs and a designed eye that makes for an enjoyment out of reading than I’ve had in quite a while! There is ample space for photographs that feature whichever lesson is at play as well as small challenges for the Reader to engage in as they proceed through the book.
This book is sure to add both play and mystery into your life and ultimately, potentially, your very own home, too!!! I hope you will enjoy not only choosing to pick up this book for yourself but also to see how I’ve interacted with it in this review as well as what you may want to pop in and teach yourself, too! Thanks so much for reading. Here we go!
BOOK LENGTH:
160 pages
MY RECOMMENDATION SCORE:
5/5
OUTSTANDING QUOTES, IDEAS OR PROMPTS:
“While avoiding excess, truly peaceful environments remind us where we have been and where we are going” — (Craven, 2005, p. 9) >> Context: Avoid clutter but not everything has to be tossed. Keep the items or the things that serve a greater purpose or provide you a sense of relief and charm and remove the rest. Keep in mind the objective or theme of the room and for which things are kept or not. Like Brooke McAlary in “Slow: Simpler Living for a Frantic World” (2018) you don’t really need 30 tablespoons or 10 bottles of hand sanitizer; keep it simple and borrow what you can or utilize it from the free/swappable section of the local library, extended family and so on. You want functionality and space not a hoarder’s room (trust me: been there, done that and slowly working on stopping it).
*”All too frequently the things that distress us are circumstances we cannot control. We can, however, design living spaces that will help us cope with random world events, ease family conflicts, and calm the inner demons that kindle fear and discontent” — (Craven, 2005, p. 12) >> This book touches on yin and yang enough that I realized I never thought of it in the way it is intended. I figured it was the opposites of good and bad when in actuality it’s the opposites of energizing and relaxing. Which, certainly, makes a lot more sense in the context of home improvement. What I like about this quote and this notion is that, yes, we cannot control much out of this thing called Life, but there are some things we CAN and it’s important, hell, maybe MORE important, to focus on THAT instead of the unpredictability that is Life. Your living space is something you get to form, transform, evolve and re-experience differently in each moment. The present may never come again and everything changes. Cling to that in the hard times and you’ll know less fear because you’ll have something to rely on.
Another great theme that touches on Brooke McAlary’s book that I covered last year in a review, is the whole idea of breaking things down into the smaller, more easily digestible chunks. So, don’t tackle ALL of the house, but one specific space, one even smaller bit. ~”Because small, imperfect action steps are better than one big, occasional change.” It won’t all be done today, though something is far better than nothing. And it will be imperfect and that’s okay. Imperfect and done is better than perfect and unfinished. 🌹❣️💙💙
These are the Tranquility Tools (7 of 12) I most enjoyed from p. 15: “vastu shastra: following guidelines from ancient India for harmonious floor plans and furniture arrangements; celestial design: looking to the stars and finding inspiration in early tribal customs; hydrotherapy: celebrate the healing power of water in home spas or other indoor waterspaces; aromatherapy: use healing aromas from fresh flowers, dried herbs and essential oils; color therapy: choose colors for their proven ability to affect emotions and physical well-being; light therapy: flood rooms with the healing rays of full-spectrum lighting; sound conditioners: mask distracting outside noise with soothing music and sounds drawn from nature” (Craven, 2005). >> These just seem the most interesting to me and for which I’ve connected with the most through reading this book. I really like for light therapy more of those fairy lights and the aesthetically pleasing and wondrous warmth they spread inside of me. I have so many different string lights around my room (maybe bordering on excessive, but can there be too much of a good thing? 😉) and love to keep advancing my space with more and just re-decorating happily so!
For sound conditioners, if you watch my Youtube videos I pretty much always have my sound machine going and that is soothing, too. I use it to block out the sound in the house so others don’t hear what I’m saying and so the video doesn’t pick up theirs either. Even when I’m alone at home I’ll still put it on for a video because it feels way TOO weird without it, hahaha. But general use of sound machines are so rhythmic to spa days or massages so that’s also great!
Aromatherapy– well just scents in general are so powerful! I love and adore all of the Bath and Body Works food comfort smells–never knew my life’s mission would be to smell like a bakery but I’m living for it and love it so much now!!!
At the time of still reading this book I haven’t tried out the compasses and North/South/East/West of some of the degrees of the home like in Inca tradition but I’m hoping I’ll be able to by the time I finish reading. (If I do practice this after this review, I’ll one, try to remember when I do and two, try and post about it in the future haha) I want to get out of this book and put into this review as much of what I learned, gleaned from and have improved on myself, my space and the future of my spaces and one day to come, home! It’s been a blessed and wonderful journey! I’ll talk more later on what drew me to this book and the wonderful experience I’ve been having with it all thus far. 🧡🧡🧡
“Numerous studies have shown that color and light will trigger strong physiological and emotional responses. Healing colors, noted for their calming effects, are drawn from earth, sea and sky. The gentle notes of a wind chime, the restful scent of lavender, and, perhaps, even the energizing taste of strawberries become as important to the room as its furnishings” — (Craven, 2005, p. 15) >> If I can remember and have the time and freedom to do so, I’m going to try and find 2-3 articles or studies that have shown these effects to be true before I publish this review. Hopefully Future Raquel remembers that hahaha. But yessss, I love and adore this and it’s so freshly stated and then further explored later in the book and we’re here and living for it! Callbacks, wheee. I’m about to start the chapter on all color so I’m feeling energized and looking forward to gleaning lots of information out of it. Hopefully not TOO many page flags, though haha. The effect of sea and sky will introduce our first noteworthy image, as well. 😜
This bit is just an observation but before reading this book, I never really paid attention to the very real and visceral reaction mankind has to wanting to incorporate nature and the natural world into their home living situations. It’s very, very interesting. Like the sound machines, the scents, the visuals. The being kinder to the planet, the lessening of clutter and material items, the colors and patterns and textures. We actively and consistently bring in nature into our homes and interact with it in some way on a daily basis. It’s also like how humans are drawn to the ocean. Why? In what ways? But it’s soothing and calming and nice. So, too, do we crave to be in Nature and the natural world. It’s very interesting, these instincts. Very interesting indeed
“Just remain in the center, watching. And then forget that you are there.” — Lau-Tzu — (Craven, 2005, p. 21)
I really liked and enjoyed the above quote! I feel like it’s just so nice and centering and wonderful. A true mindfulness peak of a moment, really. It’s also rather freeing and liberating. How do you feel about it? ❤️
“We can draw much wisdom from the ancient practice of assigning energies and meanings to circular patterns and cycles of Sun and Moon. Your house will become your own personal medicine wheel when you put special thought into where you place significant objects. Place a ceramic bird, representing spirituality and creativity, near an eastern window where it catches the first light of the rising Sun. Set aside a quiet norther corner for photo albums and leather-bound books” — (Craven, 2005, p. 27) >> I found this to be very interesting and really inspiring for adding more circles into my bedroom and vision boards and artworks (a continued theme through the rest of the book) and also touching on these celestial designs and incorporating more art/ideas/quotes centered around the Moon Phases and sun. A future page flag touches on creating some original mandalas which I have done one of thus far and still want to create at least one other one. Yay! 😁🤩
“Lessons from the Inca:
“South – The Serpent. South is the direction for healing and renewal. Just as a snake slithers from its skin, we will shed the past. We do not forget our failures and losses, we are no longer bound by them and we are free to make new choices. The south is an ideal location for bedrooms, bathrooms and seeking restoration.
“West – The Female Jaguar. The west is the direction where we can best face our fears. Death is not an ending but a transformation. We can take inventory of our weaknesses and find quiet peace with ourselves. Kitchens, home offices, and other busy work areas do best in the west
“North – The White Horse, White Buffalo, Dragon or Hummingbird. North is where learning and wisdom occur. You will receive guidance from your ancestors and accept the collective wisdom of the human race. You can place rooms designed for reading and study towards the north
“East – The Eagle or the Condor. The east is the direction of profound insight. The Inca associated the rising Sun with spiritual awakening. With the keen vision of an eagle or a condor, we will see beyond material things and discover our true potential. Place meditation rooms or personal shrines in the eastern corner” — (Craven, 2005, all from p. 28)
My feedback >> I just thought this all was super interesting, noteworthy and a great thing to continue to do further research and study on!!! Parts of my ancestry comes from the Inca so I think that would be a great and enriching cultural exploration for me and of presenting my findings to my Mom after soooo yay. Also this is some good work with a compass like with ba-gua mentioned earlier in the chapter. I can’t wait to practice this exercise to see where things are oriented from the front door of the home to areas of my bedroom! Yay!
“Stress free homes invite free and easy movement. Rooms and furnishings are arranged to avoid conflicts and collisions. Functionality and flexibility are key. Doors swing open smoothly, passageways are well-lit, chairs are comfortable and practical, and individual needs for space and privacy are accommodated. Rooms and furnishings are easily accessible for family members and visitors with disabilities. The home is easy to clean and maintain because clutter is eliminated and storage is conveniently located” — (Craven, 2005, p. 32) >> This is within the opening of Chp 3 but I still really enjoyed it and thought it was super neat and lovely! I never really considered more accessibility beyond the abled bodies for my home (not that I own my home right now) but it’s a great thing to consider and be more all inclusive!!! I feel like Avengers Tower would allow for this well, too, actually. I’m sure I’ll be exploring that more in my health centered fanfics some day!! Hmmm, maybe I’ll work on writing some more soon… But yeah, I thought it was neat. I naturally attract or am attracted by clutter but it also feels REALLY good and nice to declutter at times and just shed what hasn’t been used for years and can more likely just go. Though, I have to say, I’m pretty sure (like 90% sure) that I threw away my really old construction paper pack and nowwwww I’m wishing I just hid it somewhere and will be able to use it for my upcoming new job activities hahaha Who knew I’d maybe find a use for it after so many years of just, well, not! 😸😽😙
“Take time to listen closely to what your dwelling is telling you. Examine the fixed structural elements: the size and shape of the room, the height of the ceiling, the size and placement of the windows, and the presence of support beams and important decorative details such as columns, mantels, and build-in shelving” — (Craven, 2005, p. 35) >> Nice! I felt this depiction was interesting and worthy of being explored/explained further. It think it’s a nicely written reminder of things to focus on. 😃
“Don’t limit yourself to the merely pragmatic as you plan the rooms in your home. When you give an activity–or an idea–space, you acknowledge its importance and you open the way for possibilities. If you have always yearned to be a writer, set aside an area devoted to writing… By giving dreams room, you encourage them to become realities… Ultimately, every designer must work within the boundaries of existing walls. You will need to find innovative ways to use the space you have right now. Don’t forget the small, out of the way nooks. The places that comfort us are often cozy and sheltered. With a lamp and a few pillows, a window alcove can become a private haven” — (Craven, 2005, p. 38) >> So I don’t know exactly WHICH paragraphs I loved many months ago from this ambiguously placed page flag so I decided to just include parts of both. Whichever it was, I loved ALL of it!! I really need to better organize my space, my bedroom and would adore a Book Nook made into my closet, it’s just… a bit of a big, giant mess right now, at present. It’s…possible. But overwhelming. And not all my stuff, either! So that complicates things a bit. I really need to declutter more and toss some more things over keeping things I never use forever. For some “potential use or reason”/art projects that never come to fruition. But overall, I like this a LOT. There are existing spaces and things I can do with them–and that’s exciting! One imperfect piece at a time. 🙏🏻
“Take inspiration from the traditional Japanese nihon-ma. Furnished entirely with cushions, mats, lightweight tables, and translucent screens, these airy spaces can be transformed at a moment’s notice. You can achieve this type of fluidity simply by removing heavy, ponderous furnishings and discarding nonessentials” — (Craven, 2005, p. 41) >> I really like this perspective and adding the theme of movement to a house/home. This book is great on its inclusiveness of various handicaps that ordinary people forget some other people live and exist with, making a home more easily accessible by/for those people. Additionally, this book offers an intriguing POV on various cultures, wisdom and practices worldwide and that’s neat and awesome for me especially as I tend to avoid such things! New stuff to research, read, grow, learn and about and introduce/include into my own life and experiences! Yay!
“When choosing room arrangements, consider the mystical powers associated with the triangle, the hexagram and the numbers they represent. Groupings of 3 chairs or 6 photographs are inherently reassuring. Placing 9 books on a shelf–instead of 8 or 10–may bring an inexplicable tranquility. Numerologists would say that even the dimensions we are scarcely aware of, such as the length of tables or the height of shelves, will be more calming if they are in multiples of 3. It’s as though the number is encoded in our psyches, reminding us that we live in a safe and orderly universe” — (Craven, 2005, p. 48) >> I thought this was super interesting and thought provoking and wanted to include it into this MASSIVE review!!! 🖤🖤🖤 I’ve been experimenting with some of the shelving ideas in this book and the different shapes a bit since I’ve read this book, mainly in my bedroom! I still dream of making like a book nook zone in my closet but it’s stalled for the moment. I also bought this fancy pineapple relax sign from Christmas Tree Shop (the shape is interesting enough) and it has a cascading of golden chains with bells at the end and that’s now on the inner part of my bedroom door so I get the visual and the sound and the newness of it so it all works out really well!! Yay! It reminds me of wind chimes 😃
“Serenity Secret #13: Cast a circle of safety. Plant both feet firmly on the ground and feel the energy of the earth below and the sky above. Visualize this energy as warm, golden honey that will strengthen and protect you. Reach down and cup the earth energy in one hand. Reach up and gather the sky energy in your other hand. Then face your palms outward and turn a slow circle. Reach high and low to form a transparent but impenetrable sphere of energy all around you. When you sense that your safety circle is set, close your eyes and savor the feelings of comfort and security” (Craven, 2005, p. 50) >> I really enjoyed this little nugget of a serenity secret! Thought it was worth sharing and exploring again, into the future, as some like chair yoga-esque kind of stuff. 🙂💛
[Color tips that I liked the most]: “Use color to bring out qualities you would like to encourage. Take cues from the surrounding landscape. Look for colors in woodwork and other structural elements of your home. Consider the impact of lighting and surrounding objects on the colors you see. Remember the ceilings: think beyond basic white” — (Craven, 2005, p. 67) >> I just really liked these ones in particular as they were the most interesting. A few of the others were related to family life and that’s not my experiences coming into this book so, I couldn’t relate to those very much. I think exploring the light/dark shades of color is pretty basic, so I didn’t include that one either. The ones I picked here are the most valuable to me. And I feel like I can return to thoughts of them now and into the future. ❤️
“Once you have discovered the most comforting color for you and your family, use it as a theme throughout your entire home. In some rooms, walls or ceilings may be painted in your chosen family color, in other rooms, the color may be echoed in a carpet, a painting or a vase of flowers. Choose a slightly darker or lighter shade for a wallpaper boarder or an upholstered chair” — (Craven, 2005, p. 67) >> Nice! I liked this and thought it was cool! 🙂🥰
“A touch of deep rose or lemon yellow will bright warmth to dusty blues. Burgundy or burnt sienna will add an air of comfort to strong, assertive blues such as navy or cobalt. Blue has many depths and infinite variations. While most are calm and appealing, not all are equally serene. Periwinkle takes on a purple hue that can be either tranquilizing or troubling. While lavender is often associated with romance or spirituality, it is a restless, uncertain color” — (Craven, 2005, p. 69) >> I found the Color and Light chapter to be the most intriguing and one of my dear favorites so there will be multiple quotes from that chapter coming up now. It’s also just a beautiful chapter creatively with the photos that were used, so, enjoy!! 🥰😍
“Feel free to fill an entire room with [green] this soothing color. Instead of overwhelming, the abundance of green will suggest the stillness of a deep forest. Combine olive green with natural wood and ruddy browns; seafoam green with sand and coral; fruity greens with bright blossom colors like pink, red and gold. If you can mimic the colors outside your window, the simple joys of nature will follow you inside, bringing a deep sense of belonging and a promise of new beginnings” — (Craven, 2005, p. 70) >> I just found this point and this final sentence to be the best thing ever and SO golden!! Had to share it here! 🙂
“Red: stimulates the nervous system, increases energy, promotes feelings of power, can be balanced by combining with green. Yellow: stimulates the mind and heightens awareness, helps lift depression, may heighten anxiety, can be balanced by combining with blue. Orange: stimulates emotional responses, eases depression, heightens creativity, can be balanced with green-blues colors” — (Craven, 2005, p. 74) >> Totes not sure this is what I meant for the page flag to be about but let’s just roll with it! I thought these descriptions of these fire colors was particularly interesting. I didn’t include all of the facts about them but selected a few that I wanted to highlight the most. I love things color related and about interior design, it seems!
This is not a direct quote, however I found the chapter topic on “Sound” to be very interesting, intriguing and fascinating. In summary, it talks about how sound and noise is all around us and how tuning into it more and what makes us feel good about it is very important and critical. There’s music with words and instrumental, the various cultures that celebrate dance or drumming, as well as our own homes unique sounds and quirks as well as our hearts beating away regardless. Very interesting–worth a read!! So, go pick up this book already!!
Warning: Quote within a quote: “I shut my eyes in order to see” by Paul Gauguin in (Craven, 2005, p. 89) I really, really like this quote and I feel its a great one to really ponder on and think about and just experience, at the end of the day. Very neat. I’ll have another quote of a quote soon.
Warning: Quote within a quote No. 2 “Let the water settle; you will see the Moon and stars mirrored in your being” by Jalaluddin Rumi in (Craven, 2005, p. 103) >> I like this quote especially because it is so simple and effective. Beautifully stated and something once again that you can really ponder for a while and find new lessons in each and every time. 💫💫
“When you connect with nature, you are also connecting with your spiritual self. Homes designed for peaceful living often blur the boundaries between indoors and out with rooms that extend into gardens, flowers that bloom on window sills, and countless details that express an appreciation for earth, sky and water. An intricately twisted scrap of driftwood on the mantel, a row of sea shells around the bathtub, or a cluster of sea-tossed stones on a side table help celebrate a world untouched by technology” — (Craven, 2005, p. 110) >> I really enjoyed the multiple quotable opportunities with this particular paragraph. I feel like this one, especially after so many months since I read this book, stood out the most to me and I wanted to highlight it in this BES. The rest, well, you’ll have to pick up the book and experience for yourself! 😉
“Serenity Secret #38: Knock on wood. Touch a tree. Feel the texture and temperature of solid, earthen things. When life feels uncertain, let the sensations in your fingers remind you that the world has substance, form and meaning. Say a prayer of thanks” — (Craven, 2005, p. 125) >> I had quite enjoyed this serenity secret! It’s great to get in touch with nature and especially so when the weather is nice, either sunny or cloudy or stormy and also when the season brims with it and when you need to feel an extra bit more grounded and when you need to remember that there’s a whole world out there in existence beyond a set of screens and typing keys. So, yeah! Go outside for a moment and milk it all in!!! You might not get a chance to if you don’t seize the moment right now. There’s only so much time in life and alsooo imperfection makes it okay to STILL experience something even if it’s far from that idea of “perfect.” Remember: a situation can be imperfect and still be worthy of experiencing and exploring. 🙂 You’ve got this! 💚💚💚
**“Control clutter: Observe where messes accumulate and create storage in that area. Provide chests, cabinets, or hooks by entry doors. Set aside areas for mass-producing activities. Create a lost and found box to stow misplaced items. Each time you acquire something new, discard something you don’t want or need. Establish a routine for clutter clearing: mark appointed times on the family calendar. Involve the entire family in clean-up efforts” — (Craven, 2005, p. 128) >> Wow! I thought these were just SUPER great clutter clearing tips and soooo worthy of being mentioned in this BES! I know my bedroom floor is frequently and consistently utilized (and my bed as my desk) but I have to keep up with upkeeping it and clearing it off and then readjusting over and over. My Mom and I, the day I’m finishing (I hope!!!) this review just got ourselves a new bookcase from an estate sale so I MIGHT be redecorating my room soon and adding more storage inside soooo that’s fun and exciting and different! I’m planning to also do more redecorating of my walls and doing short videos on some of the back stories to the things I own and sharing that online, pretty much! Mainly on Youtube but yeah. Yay clutter clearing quotes! I have some new books that I’ve introduced into my room further about cleaning up clutter, storage and minimalism 😃
Quote within a quote: “‘We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are’ by The Talmud” — (Craven, 2005, p. 140) >> I really liked this quote, I felt it was simple yet so true at the same time! What do you think?
NOTEWORTHY IMAGES:
Photo inventory and crediting:
(Craven, 2005, p. 7) — Tab note: “This is pretty serene. What is a chenille?” >> Further examination, learned what a chenille was as the book went on and still believe this to be a serene image that is noteworthy for its colors and pairings and is a good glimpse of all the wonderful things to come in this book! I really recommend you checking this book out to read it! Hands down, good to read, simple and very interesting for interior home designs!! 💙💚💜🪩
(Craven, 2005, p. 16) — Tab note: “I like the idea of drawing rooms and floor plans. Will do this in the reading process” >> Didn’t wind up doing that but it IS something I’d like to further explore into the future, mostly when this review goes up and live and I have some additional time to record the video review, some extra buffer time and have successfully parted with this book in the return process and then can remember to finalize these ideas in a sketchbook or folder somewhere hahah
(Craven, 2005, p. 17) — Tab note: “This is very pretty and soothing 🙂” >> It is a very beautiful image and so simple yet so refreshingly beautiful, I find! Definitely wanted to include it in this review, and it’s genuinely just one of soooo many amazing shots and pictures included in and throughout this entire book! Again, worth the read for sure!! I’m pretty sure this is the FIRST home/interior design book I’ve actually read and I don’t regret it at all! An honor to share it with some of you out there who may find this review-like thing one day hahah
(Craven, 2005, p. 37) — Tab note: “Really, really like this and want to do this: dream home with library space, art space, etc. Written tab on 3.25.23” >> Once again, I’d like to definitely revisit this in the future with plotting out dream homes, dream rooms, floor plans, and so on! I think it’d be SO fun and interesting!! When I eventually move out on my own one day maybe I can refer to some of the ideas I come up with in the relative future and see what stays the same, what changes and so forth
(Craven, 2005, p. 53) — Tab note (as mentioned down below another time, look for it in Creativity Corner): “Exercise this mandala soon! Rainbow mandala in particular” >> I actually have YET to make the rainbow mandala BUT I did do one way back when, someone remind me to share a photo of it in the future. Maybe if I remember for the video review I’ll share it there… I’ll try and remember to fish through my folder where I placed it months ago and keep it out so that I can photograph it in the future and also include it in the video… fingers crossed!!!!
(Craven, 2005, p. 65) — Tab note: “I like the color meditation on the opposite page” (I think I have this typed up also on the Creativity Corner section in case anyone is interested) “that would be great for videos and groups at work!” Essentially just breathing in that color and having it wash over you and so on. “I also liked the photograph here with the colors” (this is the color and light chapter, you’ll have either already have seen multiple quotes from it or additional ones down below) and the matching vibe of them all. Enjoy this!!!
(Craven, 2005, p. 84) — Tab note: “LOVE this photo” >> This is purely a photo appreciation inclusion. Gosh, I ADORE this photograph–it might even be everything I want my own photography to puddle through some day!! Love it, love it, love it! The ambience, the colors, the focus, the lightness of it, just, MWAH! 🥰😚💖😍💋 And of course the bit on fragrance below it is wonderful.
(Craven, 2005, p. 105) — Tab note: “This is very pretty and beautiful” >> This is another bathroom shot! Just so equally calm and peaceful, bit of blue and the seashells throughout it. Mmmm I adore!
THOUGHTS AND IDEAS I HAD WHILE READING:
. I thought I was going to most enjoy these chapters: Chp 2- Ancient Wisdoms (yes); Chp 5- Color and Light (at the time of working on this BES again I am about to start this chapter!); Chp 6- Sound, Scent and Texture; Chp 8- Earth, Sky and Water; Chp 9-* Storage and Display; Chp 10- Deeper Meanings
. I learned that yin and yang aren’t synonymous for good and bad but rather peace and energy! I never knew that before and it makes a lot more sense hehe I enjoyed learning another new thing from this book! 😃
. The home shown on p. 26 gave me really intense Wakanda vibes which was nice and interesting! I also enjoyed the variety of shapes and tribal aesthetic within it. A work of art for sure!
. “You would tire of a perfectly symmetrical room with matching furniture arranged like mirror reflections” — (Craven, 2005, p. 59) >> Reminds me of a scene in the fiction novel I was reading forever ago and have not read since forever ago but would like to jump back into VERY soon. Le sigh (“Shut Your Eyes Tight” by John Verdon)
. I really have to work on going back through my photos and videos on my filming camera to import them onto my laptop and clear up more space, especially before my vacation this July 2023
. Apparently, I always thought Robert Frost and Picasso were from the earlier 1800’s rather than the later 1800’s. Oops.
. I would really like to invest in another blanket for my book nook space but haven’t gone about doing so or tracking one down just yet. I did get a pillow for it though! It’s nice and was only $2 at a yard sale hahaha
. Green and gold always reminds me of Loki, it truly never fails!! Hahaha
. Since reading this book, I have been able to make some advancements and adjustments to my bedroom that I hope to unveil into the future with my Youtube videos and an updated Room Tour, hopefully by the end of the year! 💜💜💜
. I really want to find the batteries that are circle shaped and small that work in my light bulb decorative lamp that I have housed on a newer bookcase in my closet. Gotta remember to do that some time haha
FILMED YOUTUBE REVIEW ON MY CHANNEL:
My Youtube channel name: RecoverytoWellness. Check me out over there for some more in real time fun stuff, life updates, hauls, my recovery stories, sometimes live streams, art making and photo/film shoots plus some great music, shout-outs and relevant ideas! Eventually, once this written BES goes live, I’m planning to figure out and flail about trying to film a video book review on this book before I officially drop it back off at its home in the library!! Hopefully some time in the last full week of July! A LONNNNG time coming!!!! I’ll make an update bit/pingback or comment here under this post’s comments when that video also goes up and goes live. I’ll probably have it filmed farrrrr sooner than when I edit and finally upload it, especially if it’s a 20 min vid. Sorry! ☹️
CREATIVITY CORNER:
From p. 6: I’d like to further hone in on the connection between nature and people/places/the home that provide mindful moments of peace and reprieve, such as those mentioned here: “the rhythm of falling rain, the bewitching interplay of color and pattern, the simple joys of kneading bread, stoking a fire or rocking in a comfortable chair” (Craven, 2005). This quote existing in this section because I feel like I could hone in on this with photography and filming moving forwards. Like, creative travels down a bookshelf or the balance of like objects near each other, the sound and sight of rain, creating my own ambience scenes in nature, exploring life in a more childlike and wondrous way, etc. It would fit within The Great Outdoors Series as well as with adulting series and Room Care and other things. Because I’m primarily working with just my one bedroom at the moment, I gotta get creative with which and what new things I bring into the mix or hell, even toss aside and get rid of!! The process and the change/transformation is already underway!! Yippee!
From p. 27: Adding more circles to artwork, paintings, vision boards/my bedroom walls as well as Sun and Moon phases, quotes, images, etc. Circles are healing!!
From Chp 3 Opening, p. 32: “Serenity Secret No. 9: Reflect. Remember a time you felt perfectly at peace. Close your eyes and visualize your chosen place in detail. Where are you? What colors do you see? What shapes and textures? Do you hear music or other sounds? Can you sense a special aroma? Make a list of these details and begin incorporating them into your home” — (Craven, 2005) >> I thought this was a great serenity secret! I’d love to do a small video just on this prompt alone. I’d definitely say a sunlit area, rainbows and lots of colors and definitely tons of books. Soft coverings, fluffy pillows. String/fairy lights. Nature sounds like rain on leaves, waterfalls, streams–most of which I’d find through the Calm app on my phone. Aromas? Baked goods. Definitely. ☺️😀
“Serenity Secret #10: Draw your dream house. Use colorful crayons or markers. Focus on feelings, not draftsmanship. Think about the ways your home could help you achieve things you deeply long for. Use lines and colors to suggest intangible qualities such as love, creativity or spirituality” — (Craven, 2005, p. 37) >> I really, really like this and want to do this! My Dream Home would include a library room and art spaces. 😃 I wrote a flag for it way back on 3/25/23, it’s been THAT long, genuinely. I will try and do this before I officially return the book at (what I’m hoping will be) the start of July. And include it within the video Book Review on my Youtube Channel, linked above. Whichever avenue it gets done, I’ll work to make sure it gets done!! Homework from after the review hahaha
“Expressing wholeness, unity and timelessness, circular forms are both powerful and reassuring. They reflect the Sun and Moon, the curve of the Earth, and the cycle of life and the seasons. Symbols that incorporate the circle often take on mystical significance, bringing comfort, healing and inspiration. Incorporating circular shapes into the design of your rooms is a meaningful way to invite tranquility. Arrange furnishings into these formations or seek these patterns in fabrics and wallcoverings. Display artwork with circle motifs, or bring inside water-smoothed stones and other samples of nature’s rounded shapes” — (Craven, 2005, p. 50) >> Once again, I’ve been incorporating more of these lessons into my bedroom’s coziness now! I have a few new pieces of art that have circles to them and teardrops or ovals, too. Super helpful! I absolutely just love and adore this quoted sentiment!! 😊🤩
“Serenity Secret #14: Draw a mandala. The powerful symbol of life has brought comfort and inspiration since ancient times. Begin by drawing a circle on paper or canvas. Spontaneously draw or doodle inside the circle, creating nay patterns or images that come to mind. Work without thought or plan, choosing colors or shapes as they rise to the surface of your consciousness. When your mandala is complete, you will have an evocative image of your inner self. Spend a few moments each day viewing the design and reflecting on the intricate beauty of your soul” — (Craven, 2005, p. 53) >> I did wind up drawing a mandala from this exercise but it wasn’t quite the one I had imagined first. I still really want to do one with rainbows inside, that was the original idea I had. 🥺😚
“Serenity Secret #17: Rub a stone. According to ancient mystical beliefs, certain rocks have the power to ease troubles and relieve pain. Choose a smooth, flat stone that is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. When you are feeling anxious, massage your stone between your thumb and forefinger. The gentle pressure and the rhythmic motion will help ease your tension. Carry your ‘worry stone’ in your pocket or set it on a your desk and savor its tranquilizing effect” — (Craven, 2005, p. 63) >> I also continue to love and adore this. I feel like it has so much potential and I’ve done stuff like this before and would really like to again! Definitely utilize and work on, self! 🧡🧡💫🧭
“Color is so powerful that its influence is felt even when we are sleeping. Everyone, including those without sight, senses color because it is actually composed of vibrating light waves. Perceived through the skin as well as the eyes, these waves stir physiological responses that are instinctive and universal. Warm tones like yellow, orange and red act as stimulants. They increase our pulse and respiration and may produce either excitement or anxiety. Cool colors such as blue and green are calming. They decrease our pulse and respiration and may encourage relaxation” – (Craven, 2005, p. 64). >> I thought this is super interesting and something I’d like to explore and play on in my fanfics, especially of course, the blindness ones! 😁😁
“Serenity Secret #18: Contemplate a color. Visualize a shade that represents qualities you need in your life today. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Imagine your chosen color filling your lungs and feel it flowing into your arms and legs. Hold the color inside and accept its power to comfort and heal. Exhale slowly, letting the color swirl around your head. Then, once again, breathe deeply, inhaling your chosen color” — (Craven, 2005, p. 64) >> I thought this is just such a fancy color meditation and lots of potential with videos and groups at work potential! (I work as a group facilitator as my career now)
About the color and light chapter: I definitely gravitate towards rainbows and multiple colors, and the text spoke about paying attention to the kinds of colors that the family wears or is thematic to the favorite vacation spots and so on, for me, definitely rainbows and color and glitter/sequins is definitely a thing. So, yeah! Bright things are very attractive to me.
“Metallics–gold, bronze, copper and silver–suggest both solidity and abundance; they bring a sense of luxury to even the most rustic interiors” — (Craven, 2005, p. 73) >> I do, indeed, enjoy my metallics!! 🖤
“Serenity Secret #20: Drape a sheer pink scarf over the shade of your bedside lamp. Studies show that pale, rosy hues have a tranquilizing effect. The soothing glow will surround you completely, transporting you back to a time before birth” — (Craven, 2005, p. 75) >> I still thought this was a neat and interesting little serenity secret! Gosh, I adore this book!! Thanks so much for reading along if you did!! I know these are mammoth posts, gwah. Eventually I’ll get better at slimming them down extensively. 😜
“White is reflective; it will take its tints from other objects in the room. The rosy colors in a floral wallpaper, the lush greens of a flourishing ficus plant, or the yellow glow of incandescent lighting will transform the appearance of surfaces painted white. An all-white room becomes rather like a Zen sand garden. We begin to relax as we contemplate the interplay of light and shadow” — (Craven, 2005, p. 76-77) >> I really liked this and included a little more than I had to. Definitely thought-provoking to me and I really enjoyed its description! Yay! 🤍🤍🤍
“Serenity Secret #22: Soak away your stress. Sprinkle your bathwater with fragrant rosemary oil and use a rough loofah or a brush to scrub toxins from your skin. Savor the sensations of warmth and wetness, rough and soapy smooth. Listen closely to the splashing of the water and your own breathing. Focusing on your senses will ease your nerves and you will feel soothed and comforted by your own caring touch” — (Craven, 2005, p. 80) >> Once again, just ANOTHER great and amazing serenity secret that I’d love to incorporate further into my life with self-care routines and self soothing measures! 🛀🏻🛀🏻
“Serenity Secret #25: Touch someone (with permission and an ask first!!). Touching need not be sexual; we all crave the warmth and intimacy of human contact. Hug your children. Give your lifemate a caring neck rub. Reach out and shake a colleague’s hand. Through these simple gestures, you will begin to feel a peaceful connection with yourself and humanity” — (Craven, 2005, p. 89) >> I think this final sentence in this secret is especially relevant for my Loki fanfics so I really want to explore that further and have this mini reminder that it’s something I wish to ponder and dabble in! I think this idea of appropriate touch is crucial.
Polished mahogany was mentioned as being “as dark and reflective as a midnight pond; its fine grain seems to shift like ripples, shimmering as you change perspectives. For rooms that glimmer, mingle mahogany with brass or silver” — (Craven, 2005, p. 119) and that has given me some ideas about doing a watercolor and/or photos along the idea of night waterscapes! 😁
“Perhaps [the specific type of room] can also become your “safe space” where you retreat for quiet reflection during times of high anxiety. Bring in your favorite chair and a treasured books, and provide a small cassette or CD player to fill this space with soothing music” — (Craven, 2005, p. 132) >> I found this to be a particularly intriguing part of the read because I don’t think I necessarily consider my bedroom to be my ‘safe space’, going to the idea that my bedroom may be a place of high anxiety and if so, how do I go about changing and altering that? That’s why I’m placing this theme/concept into the Creativity Corner because maybe I can strive to continue to transform and evolve my bedroom into a better, safer and more productive place and haven for myself especially if I’m more stressed or struggling with the procrastination and so forth. It has great potential for sure. And maybe I can cover this in a video in the future as well… as long as I remember to hahaha
“Serenity Secret #42: Start a keepsake closet. Gather together snapshots, letters, diplomas, drawings, small toys, greeting cards, birth announcements, and other mementos. Don’t worry if you can’t find time to organize your treasures chronologically. Label what you can and place the items together on a shelf or inside a sturdy archival box. Add a sachet of herbs or a bar of soap with a fragrance that evokes warm memories. Visit your keepsake closet whenever life seems uncertain; your souvenirs from the past will provide a comforting sense of continuity” — (Craven, 2005, p. 134) >> I could potentially add to my top shelf of a new bookcase a small sanctuary of this kind of thing, although I have a space on my wall of a similar thing (that I have to both update and fix, it got a little heavy for the fairy lights so it’s been drooping all over the place for a solid year at least) but I thought this was another GREAT serenity secret with the ability and capability to improve, add to and edit further and further. Huzzah! 🥳🪩
“Serenity Secret #49: Make lists. Write down the things you must do today and put the most urgent tasks at the top. Also record long-range goals: where you hope to be next month, next year, and five years from today. Even if you don’t achieve everything you’d like, you’ll feel more in control. Plus, you’ll feel a satisfying sense of accomplishment each time you cross an item off your list” — (Craven, 2005, p. 153) >> I enjoy the challenge of this serenity secret! Something worthy of exploring and journaling about for sure 🖤💙💚
“In mystical and spiritual thought, the ideal is to move beyond worldly worries to a transcendent state, a sense of oneness with the universe. On a more pragmatic level, creative artists often refer to a magical state of mind when ideas and inspiration seem to flow from pen or brush. Musicians sometimes speak of being in another dimension when they are in tune with the music. Athletes use the phrase ‘in the zone’ to describe the magical place where the golfer has a perfect swing…” — (Craven, 2005, p. 154) >> I can definitely relate as an artist to the process of creating when it comes to filming, photography, creative writing and so on. I used to struggle with it a lot more in high school/when I was younger and pre-mental health conditions, where I’d be swallowed up by an inexplicable wave of emotion that fit no present situation and it was always this feeling of “this is not my emotion, it’s a character that wants their story written” and then I’d come up with a new short story or a poem and so forth. Pretty cool actually. It happens sometimes these days, though it’s rarer. But some fanfic chapters have definitely been written with that in mind before. I’m gradually earning back more creativity in writing as time goes on. But yeah, sometimes it just out pours and it IS pretty fascinating hahaha Dreams help to nudge me back into writing a lot, too.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS:
“There is no question that clutter rattles our nerves and drains our spirits. As you re-create your home, you and your family will want to seek ways to clear away or sensibly store papers, books and odd assortments of knick-knacks. Designing tranquil spaces is a process of deciding what is important and what is not. Consequently, home design becomes a deep and gradual process of self-analysis. Art and artifacts that have personal meaning or symbolic significance become key elements in the design of a home that is truly serene” — (Craven, 2005, p. 16) >> At the time of writing this review, this is the last point I’ll be doing for my review efforts of today (a day of many successes, yay!). Maybe it’s just me, but, oooof this point is a tough cookie to break!!! I LOVE my books and all my art supplies, but yeah, I probably have a bit… TOO MUCH. But I am making progress in being able to get rid of some things or rearrange others and such. Twice in the time I’ve been reading this book have I been able to destroy some of my bedroom clutter and just get rid of old things I never use and such. I even redecorated with the fairy lights in my room and made a space most recently in my closet area where we’ve just placed a brand new bookshelf that is housing now 30 of my books, so, yay progress!!! (Congrats to that at the start of April 2023). So yeah. Books, I just don’t find to be annoyances of space, though my Mom would disagree. I just love books and art supplies, what can I say? 🥰😍💋💖In the excess of these items, I can understand clutter. I think my dream house would have a library room and an arts room. 😀🙂
MY EXPERIENCE: WHAT KEPT ME READING & THE BOOK’S IMPACT ON ME:
I can say that honestly, I’m utterly exhausted and want this review to be done with, finalized, over with and gone from my memory and into physical existence online. Haha, sorry I’m just DONE with it. And I’m tired and I have work in the morning and have to get ready for that soon, too. So, this was one of 3 books I’m pretty sure that I took out from a library after over a year of not doing so because of book reading struggles and not returning them in a timely fashion, but I’m SO glad I did try it out because I WAS able to read again, over time work on this MASSIVE review, probably film some type of a video review and return this book and one other (though I did not read the other one) and all done with some great forms of success and determination.
The easy to read text, the multiple photographs, the ease of the book, the fact that nonfiction is far easier for me to read than fiction nowadays, it being a safe topic almost for sure, the fun design and the imperfection done each time… it all culminated into this easily 5/5 book experience.
ALL THE THINGS I’D LIKE TO DO MORE RESEARCH ON:
Ecofriendly things: environmentally safe, interesting and critical research of ways to be kinder to the planet and environment that we all exist in and utilize every day
Laws and regulations pertaining to preserving the environment as well as animal rights and humanely friendly options of diet and ‘clean’ eating
Biodegradable and recycling materials
Why are we humans drawn so much to nature and the ocean and bringing that sliver of peace and thoughtfulness into the places we call home? What are the evolutionary resolves for such a practice and where does that lead us into the future?
Philosophies, history, design choices, stories and medicine wheels from the Inca
Worldwide cultures/studies, wisdom, practices particularly pertaining to interior home design, philosophies and other larger ideas and concepts
These (2) meditation practices: “vipassana or Buddhist mindfulness meditation: as you concentrate closely on an object, image or a sound, you observe passing thoughts and sensations without judging or analyzing; transcendental meditation (TM): you will use a mantra – a repeated word or phrase – to promote deep relaxation. Any thoughts that rise to the surface of your mind are acknowledged and then gently pushed aside” — (Craven, 2005, p. 45) These 2 stood out to me the most and are definitely some of the things I want to explore further by either reading articles about it or listening to videos on it and then maybe, one day, too, having my OWN content online about it! Yay!
“Artificial lighting is very different from the light generated by the sun. Incandescent bulbs made with neodymium glass will cast a glow that appears similar to natural sunlight. Full-spectrum fluorescent bulbs emit all the sun’s frequencies, including a small, safe level of ultraviolet radiation” — (Craven, 2005, p. 78) >> Once again, I found this interesting and enjoyed the implications here. Something I may wish to look further into in the future, as well.
“Serenity Secret #32: Imagine a flying moose. When anxious thoughts begin to overwhelm you, chase them away with a ridiculous image. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time, so each time you envision a moose with flapping wings, you are deflecting the thoughts that cause you stress” — (Craven, 2005, p. 108) >> I found this to be an interesting thought reframe and something I may try to experiment more in the future or refer to in my video review! Could certainly become its own compulsion but could be helpful when used appropriately. I’d probably like to do some more research on it though, too. Add it to the list!
“Stone is timeless. Slate and fieldstone evoke rugged mountainsides. Soapstone suggests warmth and softness. Polished granite and creamy marble and travertines remind us of grand palaces. With colors ranging from black to yellow, green to red, natural stone can be tumbled or brush-hammered for a rough texture, sandblasted for a matte gloss or honed for a soft satin sheen” — (Craven, 2005, p. 115) >> I’d really like to look more into these things!!! Thought it was super neat and something I’d like to explore with more photos of and such. Maybe for the stone and maybe just for the natural creations of mountainsides. Whichever works!!
I never got that into plants or gardening but I have definitely been thinking, considering and getting more interested in such endeavors this year!! Another book I took out from this library that I got the present book at, also has lots of photos and text that seems super interesting is on this topic, so hopefully I’ll be able to read it and learn a thing or two all about it! There’s even another book (new) that I saw at a different library that talks about plants and is like a how-to guide in caring for them and not always killing them haahaha, we’ll have to see what’s to come in the future! 🌱🌱🏵️🪴(and if you have any that you’ve read or browsed or know of articles/websites online about this, mention it in the comments!!!)
Next up….
Fic: Multiple in progress
Nonfic: Multiple in progress
Thank you so much for reading, strolling and scrolling along and I hope that you enjoyed my commentary and maybe got something out of this massive book review and potentially the video version of it itself and so on and so forth! I really, really appreciate it and hope that you may come by again for more of my shenanigans, thoughts, points of contact and so on. Leave a comment if you have ideas, suggestions or questions. I look forward to answering them as imperfectly as possible. See you soon!! I’m also more active on Youtube these days as well as on my Reddit account! Feel free to follow me or check up on me wherever you so choose. Stay safe!! Welcome to 2023 on this blog!
Yet here you are, broken again; in another way, by another person, a fraction of the light within your soul now fractured, shattered, gone.
What did you do to receive this?
You thought you were doing good. You thought you were doing well.
But you messed with the beast.
And the beast bit back.
And now you’re lying on the floor of a dark cell, emotions scattered around you like shredded pieces of paper, and what do you have left?
Truly, what do you have left?
You’re no better than them, my mind said. You’re no better.
You thought so highly of yourself and your story and your situation. But maybe things got all twisted long ago. Maybe things weren’t what they seemed. Because now you’re in the cell, and the darkness beckons, and the words don’t form, the tears don’t spill, the hardness of the surface beneath your bones doesn’t pull away, the hardness just jabs into you and your body and that’s all that you are anymore: a body.
Pulled apart by the stakes. Pulled apart like your limbs would dislocate soon enough. But maybe not enough. Maybe it’s too much for the world to know your secrets. Maybe it’s too much or not your place to lecture.
Even if you think you’re saying something worthwhile–maybe not everyone is ready or willing or wanting to see it, hear it, grapple with it.
So, here you sit. Lost in the abyss; a taste of something more than The Void and you don’t like what you found. You don’t like what you found at all.
So go back to your words, lick your lips and wipe away those tears.
You’re not wanted here. Not fully, not wholly. Only certain parts, only certain parts and no truths, no perspectives, no stories different than their own.
You did something you shouldn’t have. You did something you shouldn’t have.
Like having opinions, having perspectives, having a voice, having a story. Just not in the way they liked, not in the way they are comfortable with expressing. And now it’s time to just walk away.
Even when it kills you.
…Especially when it kills you inside.
Some people aren’t ready for that. Some people aren’t equipped to handle it. You’ve said your piece. So peace out.
You’ll go back to grieve in whichever way that is. You’ll accept the process for what it is. Maybe not right now, maybe not today, but tomorrow, a soon coming tomorrow and you’ll find yourself okay again. Because it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to feel your feelings.
Even when you’re fractured. Even when a fraction of you has been depleted.
It’s still okay to feel that. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.
Because at least if you’re hurting, you know it’s because it mattered to you. You loved and you lost, and now you’re in pain, but it’s because you loved so much that it was worth it. You loved, you lost, you grieved, you overcame. Over and over. You overcame. So just see this as another thing to overcome. You’ve got this.
My mind had said its piece, and I had formed my own. So I folded up the letter again, letting the ink smudge into one another so that the words became mere blocks of black like long school buses. Unhinged. Unknown. A fraction of its own fracture. And I thought to myself, as I stared out the window with the tears running down its lips, and the mixture of my own tasted salty like the sea, I thought,
Thanks, Rebecca. Thanks.
About the piece:
Written 10/5/2022; Inspired by true events; music listened to: “Narcissist” by Lauren Spencer Smith
It’s been such a long, long, long, lonnnnng time since I posted on my blog here on WordPress, let alone posted in general on most writing based sites (I’m looking at my fan fiction stories especially here) and it’s just been forever since I did a proper written up life update. But, that’s not really today’s post, either (or is it?).
I want and wanted to come on here to update you guys on what I plan to be posting from now til the end of this year, 2022. Also, sorry I never really followed up on May’s mental health awareness posts. I wound up shifting more towards focusing on my Youtube channel (which honestly, in general, I’ve been doing more of the last 2 years, too) and then Peer to Peer was taught by myself and another co-presenter and so that eliminated all other mental health related content I made in a timely fashion. But, that’s neither here nor there.
I just want to make a short list of what I plan to create and post in the near future and also explain how and why I’ve taken SUCH a break from writing.
So, as for the latter:
Work. I’ve been working at my current job, Althea, since close to 11 months ago. Most of my writing is being done there–mostly in creating groups and presenting them and interacting with them in that way with the patients (I’m working at an adult psych hospital setting) as well as the notes I have to do on each of my patient’s per shift so a lot of my doing of writing has been happening there. (I do want to do more content about this particularly on Youtube in the future, in case any of you would be interested in seeing that, too, it’ll go there.)
Writer’s block/Art block. This is the main one this summer and even more beyond that. For writing it’s definitely been impacted heavily by a strong presence of writer’s block but even more I’ll go into in the next point. Additionally, this past month of August I’ve been in a ridiculous video editing block that hasn’t happened in a long time but has now and I can’t quite shake it off completely yet, which is annoying. I’ll WANT to video edit but once I decide on a file and start, 30 seconds into the process and I’ve grown bored and uninterested in finishing the project. Ugh. It’s the WORST. This will go into an additional point after this next one:
Perfectionism. My perfectionism has gone to astronomical levels and it’s genuinely impacting my life in SEVERAL areas, most of which is online stuff but also way beyond that, too. I have to triple check, edit, curate and everything and it’s exhausting and I build tasks up too much in my own head that I get anxious, procrastinate, avoid and put off because I fear I cannot produce that “perfect” result. So, I just don’t–at all. It’s incredibly frustrating and isolating. Which, sucks. This is especially the case in creative writing when it comes to my fanfics. I have about 4 stories all in progress (like, I’m literally in the middle of 4 different stories’ chapters) but I’m caught between that whirlwind of writer’s block, just not making the TIME for it to write or read or immerse myself, to being incredibly eons behind in the MCU to begin with and just not able to make it perfect that I’m just stuck, overall. Pretty much. I should make more time for creative writing and fan fiction stuff, but alas, I’m also supposed to be reading more books… it’s, it’s a process. I’m working on it. I’m practicing challenging my perfectionism with imperfect action and it IS helping and working–just not QUITE fast enough from all the stuff I’ve been putting off and off and off. BUT I am making some progress!!!! Small steps are STILL steps.
Blocked off creatively. I haven’t really had the time or the energy of the time to set aside being creative. It feels like it’s not just as simple as “being creative” in the moment but rather something I have to fight through and find the energy to fight through and to string along a story and a plot and characters and all of that and that’s just… a lot of work. So I just haven’t. And time goes and goes and goes and, still, I’m left behind.
Memory issues. For instance, I forgot completely the next point I wanted to make after perfectionism (I’m not even sure the thing I put there was what my original thought was to begin with, grrr) and so my memory is just really shitty lately and if things are NOT in the front of my face or something in my direct line of vision, I WILL forget it. I forget I say things right after I’ve placed them into the vitriol of the air before me. It’s a mess. I don’t really have answers on it yet which goes into another point:
Life. There’s been a fair amount of different life experiences I’ve found myself in, in the past year. I started a romance, the romantic relationship ended suddenly; I’ve lost a friend and someone I thought I was going to spend my life with and the trauma that that all encompasses when things ended badly and intensely toxic/unhealthy. It still feels and IS like that I cannot speak completely on THAT subject matter because my ex still lingers on my socials. Which I could have a whole other rant about but I’ll save it for no context creativity. Then just starting a new job and residual pandemic stuff. Someone close to me nearly completing suicide last year and how I handled that trauma and how that was something I was wary of this year for my birthday (anniversary of that and all; but that was their stuff and not mine and not something I had to take on as my own issue, as my psychiatrist reframed for me!). Also, though, just more growth and healing too!
I’m hopeful that this time next year I’ll be in a new romantic relationship. I’ve done some great soul searching to get to this point where I AM welcoming love into my life again because I do want to spend my life with someone and I’ve been allowing myself to reignite some of those relationship dreams and the things I want to do with some other significant other in the future. Things like dream vacations or dates or relationship dreams, etc. I’ve also figured out more of my sexuality. And I’ve been working through some journals again and achieving some awesome accomplishments since whenever I last posted on this blog! Haha. I’ve learned and I’ve expanded and I feel good, overall, now. And that’s awesome. And that’s what I’m going to focus on.
So, basically, lots of different factors have been at play. It’s just made it harder or more constricted to be able to creatively write in the past year or so. But it does feel nice to do it again, right now, as I’m listening to music in the library haha.
So, the NEXT thing we should really focus on::
(I mean, in terms of journaling I’ve been able to write up some goals and bullet journal spreads so that’s been nice and fun, too! So some creativity in writing writing HAS been directed into that angle, huzzah)
WHAT do I have planned to post on here in the future??
More film reviews (MCU and others). I might even challenge myself to do it OUT OF ORDER. I have Thor (2011), I have to do CA: TFA, maybe when I rewatch Thor Love and Thunder soon (I think it’s coming onto Disney+ in two days) and just tons of other movie reviews I have hidden or stored away
Book reviews: I have the main one I’m working on and is in progress from over this summer. I have it all handwritten and then all of the back bone to it that’s in another tab on my browser so it is being worked on and everything, I just have to finish it, edit it, and then post it. But that’s Shutter. And then I’ll have to do the video book review (VBR). BUT ALSO other books, like this recent one I finished called “Self Care” and older reviews from over the years and everything to that effect
More life updates. Self explanatory
Integrating some of my other online content like Youtube and Insta onto my blog as well. And vice versa. Just to see me in another light and another way. 😀
Awareness posts. Probably mental health related ones
Tags and awards. I definitely want to bring those back
Interacting with your posts or creative outlets, too!!! Maybe like shout-outs and such. That’d be fun!
Stream of consciousness posts.
And maybe other things that I used to do that I just can’t remember at the moment?
There’s definitely some new things I can do and some older things I USED to do that I can bring back! Oh, like song a day’s or cool shoutout posts to people’s artwork and such. I don’t know, fun stuff, overall, I think. I think maybe sharing my vision statements and stuff would be helpful and effective, too. Particularly as I’ve moved away from the main focus of my social media life in recent years so getting a fresh perspective and such on it would be necessary and interesting.
But for now, that’s all I’ve got. Which, I think is plenty. One more read through and I’ll be posting this! Thanks so much for coming along on these words and I hope that you’ve been okay and I can’t wait to see you or others soon!!! I want to go live on my Youtube again some time soon, so let’s hope for that!!! My mom is making sghetti tonight so I’mmmmmm excited. Hahhaa I am a bit hungry, so maybe I’ll shift to something else for a while (like reading a book!!) and get onto the next thing.
Thanks again! See you in the comments or on my other socials!! Sending light and love.
❤️💚💛🖤🖤💙🌻☀️☔🌈🌈
Details of the post:
Music: W.I.T.C.H by Devon Cole; Not my job anymore by Thomas Day
Location: Library backend at a table and by a cool and gray rainy window. Laptop on top of my rainbow pride tote bag. Public WiFi. Elbows a little sore haha
Writing trajectory: Started at about 5p, so a solid 1.5 hour work.
So, I don’t want to do an ENTIRE MCU Review post, buuuuuut I do want to add my collection of thoughts in a short (?) list based on what I felt in the theaters from this movie (spoilers, duh), what I thought during it (from what I can remember, at least the most significant parts) and the post-movie watching experience as well as what I’ve taken away from it (and a healing that I feel in my soul 💚💙💛). So, here we go!
PS: Future posts will include, a Thor (2011) film review; a fiction novel BES review; more breakup related posts; some older posts, maybe original works and things linking back to some of my other posts online etc.
My Experiences With “Thor: Love and Thunder” (2022)
So I didn’t realize, and I don’t know if this is a new consistency as I’m like hundreds of movies and shows late on the current MCU Phases, but if this movie is anything to go by, I’m pretty certain I’ll be crying in most other future movies so I may as well just be prepared and bring a box of tissues with me each time. There was SO MUCH emotion in this film. More than I realized. I didn’t expect Jane to have cancer or for me to feel as much for her as I did (I was never really super into Thor/Jane as a romantic relationship, personally; though when I rewatched Thor (2011), it was nice and it was cute and it was obviously important in the lead-up and exploration and explanation of THIS current movie). I definitely didn’t really expect her to die, either. So that was very sad. Cue the sadness and the many tears and snot.
As I’m going through my first real romantic breakup right now, I cannot express HOW MUCH I needed to hear and see and feel the effects that LOVE is, and can be, enough and SO WORTHY of exploring, expanding on, feeling and experiencing. It feels like with my latest saga in the romance business that shattered my world and crumbled everything around me, at least that’s what it felt like in the moment, I felt more sworn off from love and loving and growing a life with someone else. But, from this film, maybe it’s not worth keeping someone away at arm’s length. Maybe love, when it’s the right love, when it’s the healthy love, when it’s a growing love, it can provide so much more than just pain. But, truly: love. It can provide meaning. It can provide safety. It can provide a home. And I want that. I do. I don’t know how or with who I’ll get it, but I want it and I’m getting ready for that plunge. Not tomorrow, not even necessarily today, but I do want that. Someone beside me to watch more MCU movies with (even some DC ones coming out in the next year look super interesting to me!!) and grow memories with and build a life with is something very, very appealing and resounding and helpful. Once again, Marvel has provided me a peace and an understanding and an inspiration and a motivation. I’ve been missing that a lot. More than I think I ever realized. I’m so honored and glad to have seen this movie. Truly. Impactful doesn’t even come close to describing it all.
There were definitely some parts of the movie, particularly with the comedic route, that I thought felt forced. A grim smile. But I also laughed a few times, too! Particularly the eating the children bit, haha. And a few other instances, too. Though they’ve become spider webs in my mind. I can’t entirely access them, but I know they were there.
The cinematic storytelling, with all the artistic visuals and such, was beyond amazing and mesmerizing. The dolphins in the sky, beautiful. The touch of darkness and monochrome when they all landed on the edge of darkness place? Incredible. It honestly makes me feel so inspired creatively and I really, really want to learn more on how to video edit and craft something as beautiful and magical as this film extends from. I loved, especially, the tree like branching of power when Thor temporarily gave the Asgardian children some of his power to fight with him. Beautiful. But yeah, overall, learning more of how to tell a story through video making and film making is something I really want to research, learn and teach myself. Even if it’s “just” for Youtube!
For the end credits, I honestly dread the whole Hercules bit. Like, I get it, but also, could we not? I hate a set up of exploring something like that in the future, when clearly Zeus was in the wrong to not help Thor and the gang out to saving all the future god’s lives. It just feels like these wars and hunts and battles are never ending. Which, I mean, I GUESS it reflects life pretty well, but could we not for like a little while? Something mundane and simple and easy would be great, for even just a little while. Just some momentary reprieve.
I’m also not totally in love with the daughter of the god butcher (did she have a name that was presented? I already forget, plus I don’t even remember the god butcher’s name) now being a family figure in Thor’s life (I mean, I guess it makes sense, progression and family life and all that jazz) and her representing Love (though, I appreciate that the Love in this instance and the title for this movie didn’t represent Jane but rather the girl, that’s a nice touch) but I’ll have to wait and see more, I guess. It makes sense, I get it, it did just continue to feel a bit forced and… tough to further explore and represent. But maybe it’ll be good. I’ll have to wait and see.
I loved Thor’s back tattoo of RIP Loki hahhaha (I’d be lying if I wasn’t wishing for even the slightest little cameo, though all of Loki’s deaths were hard to see again 😭 But also a little comedic with how many times he died, not gonna lie heeee)
I do think, to touch on the topic once more, that Jane’s story arc in this film was really special. Her being afflicted with a life ending illness, such a human trait, to be real, and still choosing even when presented with the choice to not fight in the last battle, still choosing to do so and have her life taken, it was breathtaking and sooooo, so emotional. It was harder to not feel for that decision than anything else. I think it’s still pretty tragic she went out that way, but her words to Thor in his lap (which now that I think of it, has happened more than once with other figures, Loki I’m looking at you) were so wondrous. To continue to love again, to “open your heart to love”. Damn. Amazing.
Another thing I really got out of this movie was that whole “you’re not promised tomorrow, so make the most out of today.” That really, really struck me. I’m phenomenally well known for the fact that I waste my time exponentially so. I’m constantly distracting myself and wasting my time, hours of it, on Youtube, ingesting other people’s content and living vicariously THROUGH THEM. Or, if I’m not doing that, as of late, I’ve been working. And then when I’m not also doing that, then I’m oversleeping. It’s all I’ve been doing lately, getting NOTHING done, I might add: Sleeping, working, wasting time on Youtube. It’d be different if I were doing something more constructive, even just watching a movie to watch a movie (not worrying about a review or at least making some constraints where I decide this movie I will review, this movie I’ll just watch to watch for FUN), or working on some review posts or blogging or READING a book or writing some of my own fan fiction or listening to some videos about things I want to pursue and have hobbies in (so make some learning out of it) and then yes, sometimes little by little have times where I just watch to waste time or veg out. I think, what I’m getting at, is INTENTION MATTERS.
For the music this made me think of for the above bullet point: See the video at the very end of this post. Note: “This Time” by Mandy Harvey 🖤🖤🖤
I don’t know what tomorrow holds, just as you don’t. Anything could happen, anything could be taken away. So I want to live my life with MORE intention. I want to live my life with more of my goals in mind. Making the most out of what I have here in the given moment. BEING PRESENT in that moment. Maybe it’s enough to be mindful for a while. Maybe it’s enough to exist in the present and pleasingly do so. Not having to rush to the past point or the next future point. Just here. Just now. That’s something I got out of this film, something practical. More intention. More goals, more dreams, more life. Uncovering what that means for me.
And will it be easy? NO. It won’t, at all. I’ll have days where I accomplish it and others where I don’t. But maybe trying makes all the difference. Trying to change, trying to transform, trying to practice something else. And if it doesn’t work out, then I can just go back to what I’ve been doing. But, I’ve also been doing this for years and it’s not very fulfilling. I can’t probably go cold turkey, but I can start. Imperfect action over perfection, every time. So, here’s to the beginning.
And honestly, there’s probably a lot more that I could say. BUT I think this is where I’ll end things. Because I want to just go watch some Youtube mindlessly and eat my fried dough from the movie theater haha. But I’ve worked. I actually read some of my fic novel SYET today which is such an accomplishment!! And I’ve re-edited a video and uploaded it. And I wrote and published this post. So, that matters. PLUS I saw a movie today.
And actually, in the timeline of life, I watched “Fantastic Four” (2015) yesterday and I actually really loved it! So, more to come in the future. LOTS more.
And maybe you’ll be here for the ride. Or maybe this is where you step off. Either way, I hope and wish you all the best. Thanks for being here. Until the future, or maybe Valhalla.
Sending love and light. xx
💜💜💙💙💚💚🌞🌈☔🌠
PPS I love that we got some LGBTQ+ representation through Valkyrie and Korg. That was nice and unexpected!!! Loved that.
As someone living with OCD and BPD, saying goodbye and letting go of things is really, really difficult.
But luckily I have amazing music by my side. I’ll be sprinkling that in throughout this post.
This post is also for me, more than for the Reader, but I’ll include some things that have helped me as I navigate this new road, a side street I didn’t realize I’d ever be taking, in my recovery and in my life. It’s too important not to talk about. And I’m tired of being silenced. I have a voice. And that matters.
No more walking on eggshells.
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.
Featured song no. 1: “Second Chance” by Shinedown
This song popped into my mind when I readjusted the title for like the third time for this post. I was thinking of the “Sometimes Goodbye is…” and while I finished it differently, I had that lyric pop into my head and it took a moment to recognize what it was from (and honestly, Google did the rest) but yeah. It was helpful. For me, in this moment of my life, the Second Chance is not an actual second chance for how hurt I feel and why I feel that way. It’s more like, saying goodbye is a second chance…. Wait, that is the lyric right? Ooops. I guess, saying goodbye and putting something to rest is a second chance to just move forwards. I now know things I could have gone my life without knowing but it happened, it’s here. And now: what am I going to do about it? How am I going to curb my reaction to it and how am I going to heal and overcome this? I will also include some close hitting images of quotes I found online.
Honestly, finding other articles and blog posts and things (forums) where people have spoken about the hard things they’ve gone through (particularly with breakups, I’ll give you that) has really, really, really liberated me, validated me and made me feel seen. No one has the perfect recollection or experience similar to mine but maybe I just haven’t found it yet (instead of meaning no one out there has experienced it). And maybe I will one day. Or maybe I won’t. Maybe by that future date, it won’t even matter so much for me to have it or not. Not needing anything more than a goodbye–that’s liberating. It’s freedom. It’s peace. Is it always? Absolutely not. It won’t be. It’s painful. And life is that duality: life is beautiful and life is terrible. Even just finding this old thumb of mine, that I don’t remember making in ways, speaks to that side of me and speaks to the reality of the situation:
“After a breakup realize that you had a life BEFORE them and you can still have a life AFTER them. You just have to find yourself again” — Sonya Parker
A lot of what I’ve read on articles about breakups and forums and such talk about that: that the breakup happened, it’s there, it’s painful, it hurts, AND it’s the BEST time for you to grow, better yourself, overcome your faults and flaws (or at least have it be a work in progress), take the time to focus on you, practice self-care, put your needs first, give yourself self-compassion and self-forgiveness and self-love. You get the drift.
Another song:
No. 2 song selection (a true bop): “I Should Probably Go to Bed” by Dan + Shay
So, I naturally filmed a few videos today. If you haven’t seen any of mine lately, you may not know that I tested positive for COVID last week and was symptomatic. Luckily I’m doing a lot better but it was an experience for sure! I got VERY creative and was cranking out like 8 videos in one week. Ahahah I was VERY bored. So I filmed a few others today, especially surrounding what happened in my life, and three of those vids have NO CONTEXT whatsoever and are just me self-soothing to music on camera (filming myself when I’m unwell actually provides me a safe space to feel and cry and process out loud, and also, most importantly ensures my safety 100%) while poorly singing and just experiencing and letting go. So, this song popped into my head and it wasn’t in my CL;MA playlist but I added it so all is right in the world again lmao But for me, just the lyric “I should probably go to bed” and turn off my phone and just not engage is SOOOO, so accurate. It genuinely feels like a solid: I should quit while I’m ahead. I should probably be left alone. But I won’t call in the morning. I’ll say goodbye instead and move on.
There’s something nice about moving on, even when it’s really hard and doesn’t happen in NEAT little stages to check off the box each time it happens. Healing, it seems, isn’t linear. It’s a process. And I am healing. I’m back to square one, Ground Zero, but I’m healing. I have to remind myself:
It’s not March. It’s not snowing outside. I am safe. I am in control of my actions. I always have a choice. I am responsible for my own recovery. I can steer this ship safely back to shore–and also that that ship isn’t made to only be on shore, it’s meant to be out at sea, too. Which reminds me of the next song but, ultimately, I do have power here. I do have my feelings and my thoughts and my speech and being. And that is everything. I can wield (and arguably should wield) it more carefully, and I get to wield it. I get to get support for something that has wrecked me. Even if it’s a very complicated, unclear, creative and uncut way of getting support. It’s support. And creativity will be my saving grace. So although I can’t really say some things or everything, I just have to be okay with the story I do tell and be as truthful of where I am in that healing process and get help for it the best way I know how (and without dragging down or shooting out anyone else’s ship. I know that better now. It’s not worth it. I may not have intended for it, but it happened, and it’s way over my pay grade.)
Now, song 3:
Song No. 3: “Wrecked” by Imagine Dragons
I feel this song in about 40 different ways. Especially now. It’s a hard song but it holds so much beauty. So much pain. As life tends to do. I may not have lost something… yet I lost everything. At least, that’s how it felt. When everything happened in March, it was a crumbling. When everything that happened in July occurred, I genuinely felt like my world crashed down and crumbled all around me. There’s something ever so crushing about that–the world gets smaller and smaller and smaller. Until there’s nothing left. Nothing, at least, but darkness. And I don’t wish that on anyone.
I fucked up in some degrees, this is true. I don’t think, at least I’m baffled by it at the moment, that I deserved to be re-traumatized all over again and mentally placed back in Ground Zero after I had worked and put in the time and the effort to be okay. And it all got obliterated within a single moment and single action. And now it’s March to me and you can’t convince my brain otherwise–at least, I have the peripheral awareness that June DID happen and the more crises I had then happened so I really need to get to the roots of my DBT skills again. Move up appointments. Cope healthily. Cope … privately to then be able to cope publicly. There’s a lot of feelings there. A lot. Thanks, BPD. You’re great! 🥴🥴🥴
The pain definitely does come in waves. Time will heal as well. How am I supposed to move on? That’s true. My mind is a place I can’t escape your ghost, absolutely. Especially how I couldn’t fall asleep last night until 4AM and that was even AFTER I re-edited a video I panicked in deleting (and maybe shouldn’t have).
Brink of the edge: I definitely utilized the concept or metaphor or analogy this morning that it felt like I was standing on one leg on the ledge of a 300 foot tall mountain. And I was losing balance and about to tumble down the other side into the large river… but in reality it’s a 3 foot curb and I’ll panic for a moment, feel like the classic “I just almost died” and continue on with my day regardless. It’s that awkward flailing in public and then, pick up your confidence and carry on like that totally didn’t just happen. And, in some ways, it having happened… doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything else beyond that point in time. You can still move on. You can still say goodbye. You can still cope and heal and overcome. It won’t be easy, and it is possible.
I really want to cover more on this subject in a future video: Ending relationships in recovery. Particularly what helped me, how things affected me, the feelings or thoughts that came up, the articles or videos or content that helped me specifically and ways to maybe question or navigate the process through and through. Anyone interested? It’ll take a while, of course. Naturally. Okay, next song.
Song No. 4: “Flowers” by Lauren Spencer Smith
This is a new song that I’ve recently found and have completely and utterly fallen in love with. I’ve listened to it a lot and I really, really enjoy it. It transcends above my current situation but it helps so much and I love Lauren’s voice and her storytelling and what she did creating this piece and processing it out loud, too. Her official music video for it is a MUST see too. My facial recognition is awful so I didn’t even realize it was the same girl in two different relationships (I was very confused) but I have it all figured out now! I also love that final line because it’s so true: If it’s hurting you (in whatever way that might be; things can be healthy and then be unhealthy, etc.) then you should leave and go and get some help. It’s larger than you and your experience and it’s okay and important for you to understand that trauma, heal and move on and go forwards. It’s a beautiful song. I’d also really recommend her song that precedes this, “Fingers Crossed.”
“Who are you to tell me I can’t be heartbroken? Babe, you had the chance, the door for you was open. If it’s what you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, pretend I haven’t found [someone else] who treats me right” >> I love and adore the power behind this. No one deserves to tell you how you can or can’t grieve (even me!). How you can or can’t cope. And especially not if they are saying one thing and then contradict that three seconds later. Everyone processes differently. Some people write songs, some people make videos, some people express their pain, some others bottle it up. Of course there are healthy and unhealthy ways of expressing those needs. If someone is hurt, like how I’m hurt, it blinds them a bit. I’ve been blinded by the pain of my loss and thus I have done some things that were hurtful. And I messed up on that front. A good part of that was my hurt, and I think, at least right now, that I should be able to express that and get some support around that. I’m not blasting names, I’m not blasting socials. It’s carefully construed. I’ve made a new narrative that the reality doesn’t mesh with, and it’s how I chose to speak about it. Could I have done better? Absolutely. I messed up in some parts. I’ll focus now more on my own stuff. It’s just complicated and hard and I haven’t been able to find ways or advice or articles about how to navigate such a particular situation, so it’s hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong and what some people can or will or should know about it all and what is better left unsaid and who it’s and is NOT directed at as the audience involved. I’m tired of being on eggshells and being afraid. I’ll own my part and what I’ve done and find more creative ways of engaging with the material, so to speak. I can feel my pain and express my pain, I just need to find healthier ways of doing that. Focusing on what helps and talking about it and processing it is what I do. I don’t deserve or need to suffer in silence. I can be hurt and heartbroken and shifting into what I need moving forwards (think pro-recovery skills). Again, no names, no direct links. Just expression. And that will be happening in more stories of creativity (meaning original works of short stories and poems, in comments, in my fanfics etc).
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together” — Unknown
Sometimes there is no closure. I had that with Luna, too. I had it with another friend that I fell off with. Actually, probably more than one. Sometimes certain relationships don’t have clear goodbyes. Whether it’s friends, family, strangers, online relationships, partners, viewers and readers, etc. Sometimes there’s not closure. And maybe not all closure is earned, either. Maybe it’s not even a requirement to fully process and move forwards. So, sometimes, just stop chasing it. It’s okay to not have it, too. If it hurts more than it ever did or did before or doesn’t help right now, drop it, don’t let that rip into you. Let it go. Move on. No contact. Take them out of your life. Do what you need to do to move forwards. Again, sometimes goodbye is goodbye. It can be the kindest, sweetest and most necessary thing to leave something that wasn’t healthy: say goodbye, let go and move on. You don’t owe anyone anything else. You don’t have to hear the closure. Sometimes no closure IS closure.
Sometimes you’re better off without it. Especially if it hurts.
One last song:
I lied, two more.
I lied again, one more.
Song No. 5: “Remember That Night” by Sara Kays
I’ve loved this song for ages. For a solid year or so. At least. It became something I leaned on when issues with Fai arose last Sep. It became something I leaned on when my first breakup happened. It became something so much more. I love the shared timeline and I can absolutely feel that and relate to it in a whole new level now. I listened to this all last night and it’s so true–I had made progress being 3 months no contact and then it was all obliterated–all that work, all that healing, all that more hopeful and promising emotions, the wanting again different things or to say positive things–just vanished suddenly and completely and I couldn’t do anything to get it back, to get back that healing, to not be in March in my mind all over again. It’s awful. And I am having to relearn again that it’s not March, it’s July; it’s a new setback, it’s a continued loss (or is it a fresh new loss too? Can it be both?); it’s an ending, a full on ending. It’s out of my hands. And soon, I hope, it will be out of my mind and then out of my soul. Again, this time to improve myself and work on my things will be crucial. I never got to month four and five to live my life and not think of them but I guess from this new starting point to that future date, it should help a bit.
So, that’s all the things I’m going to say tonight.
There is one last quote I want to share and then one article that helped:
“I had a lot of reasons to give up on you. But I still chose to stay. You had a lot of reasons to stay. But you chose to give up” — Anonymous
Obviously there are many, many, many stories to tell or explanations or experiences.
But I won’t tell them. Only my parts. Only my feelings. It’s a one sided representation but this online social media is mine and only mine. It only makes sense and is more responsible of me to only share that happenings, those goings-ons. So no more speculation. Still cautious sharing; maybe that will get easier, too. I think I am still walking on eggshells. I hate that I am. But maybe that’s only for right now.
It’s complicated. And it’s over.
(In some ways and in other ways it continues on painfully until one day it’s just a faded scar and nothing more. I crave that day soon. I know I have to put in all the work first though. Sigh. You can’t rush healing!)
And now, now I think I can breathe again. With knowing that the war is over, the battle had its bloodshed, it wasn’t easy or nice or cute, but it’s over. The dawn is coming and the darkness will fade. This, too, shall pass. And there can be rebirth. Growth. Change. Health.
And maybe, that makes all the difference this time.
I can cope. I can heal. I can overcome. I will overcome. I will take it one step at a time.
Until another post, friends. Take care of yourselves.
Also the article, I haven’t fully finished reading it but here it is: (and some things don’t apply but I just dismiss those parts of course) Is my ex looking for a reaction from me
🖤🖤💔💔💔
PS Stay tuned for an honorable mention future post like this one again for “Unsung Hero (Smeagol’s Song)” by Tiffany Gray because that song legitimately SAVED ME so many times and I feel SO safe whenever I listen to it. 💙💜💚
A new thumb for a new year. Stay tuned for more to come!! Made with Canva.
A very short post, this will be.
I actually began this post back on the first day of May 2022, but I had a spell of perfectionism and everlasting procrastination come over me, plus then exhaustion so I held off. Which, is possibly ironic, I suppose.
But yes, this will be a short post to state that for the month of May 2022, I’ll be gravitating to more mental health awareness posts and recovery tales and stories across my platforms (this blog, this Youtube channel, this Instagram account, all the same usernames as here).
I’ll be doing things across platforms like:
Tags (mental health advocate tag (my own creation from last year that I never debuted, oops); mental health tag)
Song A Day’s (check out my Archives if you’re curious as to what these are) (Mental health editions)
Life updates
ART creations: Insta for some photography and drawings (some new photos I’ve taken in particular that I can do a cool before and after for the state of my alumni college), videos discussing/reacting to my own artwork I made during my early mental health recovery journey, art time lapse vids just for funsies, the usual hauls for vids too, advocacy based vids, shout-out vids, any adult coloring pages, identity and hobbies, updating fan fiction stories, etc.
Books content
Films content
Journaling-like posts on here
Recovery burnout (vid)
Shout-outs (Insta, blog, besides the vids ones)
Shorter vids and posts on here.
Things that I struggle most with today (perfectionism in particular)
Advocacy stuff—and promoting my personal and team page for the NAMI Walk 2022 this year. Please donate if you can!!
And probably more things that I can’t think of right now!!!!
All in all, much of this will lead up to the NAMI Walk but it will also continue afterwards as well (the Walk is May 21st). So, help me raise some money or share my posts or promote my videos and if there’s something that YOU are creating that you want some feedback on, let me know that too!!! I’d love to help support and network and work together on this larger mission of bringing mental health conditions and their recoveries to the forefront of the conversation.
Thank you so much if you read this far! I know it’s a little late but I’m trying. Also I could do some cool shout-outs for Insta posts that have been helping my mental health and recovery journey if that’s something that would be interesting for everyone across platforms!! I’ll also go live on my Youtube channel at least twice this month–posssssibly tomorrow, 5/5/22 but I’m not sure just yet. Regardless, have a happy and safe mental health awareness month and if you know of any tags being utilized for this year’s campaign, leave them down below!!! See you all again soon.
“Slow: Simple Living for a Frantic World” (2018) by Brooke McAlary
((nonfic))
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
One societal beauty standard measure that could trigger eating disorder thoughts or feelings; brief mentions of diet and healthy food.
THEMES:
Self-improvement, mindfulness, noticing, thought/emotion/behavior, decluttering, simpler living, slow living, psychology, easy to read, life-changing potential, you vs the Joneses, carving your own life and your own Why as to put what matters to you the most as the forefront of your life, shout-outs to other people’s content, reading, books, prompts, questions, post-partum depression, mental health, recovery, wellness, self-help, wonder, awe, lifestyle changes, photography, social media/influences effects, finding a life worth living, no to the comparison games, change of action, progress not perfection, imperfection over perfection, imperfect action vs perfection, stopping procrastination, small steps, baby steps are still progress, moving forwards, family life.
SUMMARY:
Something right off the bat that I enjoyed about this book, and is stylized throughout it, is the real rustic and authentic look the opening statement the author makes about slow living and why she no longer wants to be in competition with others. It was just such a creative spin for me and really welcomed me in, from the get-go. Plus the washed wooden background with the off kilter black box was so neat and, as I mentioned, is pretty often utilized in other chapter presentations so it was something nice and on-brand to what was yet to come.
Early on in the book, in the introduction, I enjoyed the way the author danced with their literary language. There was something so comforting and nostalgic about the way she worded things and danced with description. It was really enlightening and kept me hooked. She really portrayed personality and style within her writing and I really enjoyed that throughout the book.
The chapter I probably got the MOST out of was definitely the mindfulness chapter. Sooo many good ideas and I’ve been feeling for months, if not a couple of years, that I’ve lost touch with my mindfulness practices and entered a continued state of mindlessness. It was super amazing and great to find some old and new tips regarding being more mindful and really letting me see that while I am often mindless, I am also mindful and both exist in the same space! And I could even practice more moments of mindfulness as I read the chapter days in between so that was super great and really lovely! It also inspired me to want to do more outdoorsy things this year so I’m beyond grateful and excited about that! Things kinda like camping, hiking, kayaking haha.
I go through more of what I fell in love with within each section of the rest of this review. Overall, I really, really loved and enjoyed this book to pieces!! It was SUCH a ride for me and I loved it. I actually did this review differently than I’ve done most others because I realized having 30 flags in before 50 pages that it was going to be TOO large to do only at the very end, so instead, I broke down the review in parts and began it and wrote for it while I was STILL reading the book (instead of waiting until I was completely finished).
Alsooooo, I talked a lot about this book on my Youtube channel via live streams and a few various videos. This is also the first official book I am converting into a filmed video review as well, so stay tuned for that pingback in the future!! If I go over 25 mins then I will have two parts to the review process, if it’s less than that, I’ll have the review as just one video. This review, BES, blog post is going to be the bare bones towards my video review so read through if you’re interested to see a sneak peek into what I’ll be discussing there. Alsoooooo, if you see any asteriks next to quotes here or statements by me, it’s stuff I really wanna highlight in the video review. Additionally, this BES will be posted before I film or edit or publish the video reviews and while this will go live before the end of April 2022, the video processing probs won’t take place until Sun-Mon in May. Once that’s more down pat, I’ll be returning the book to the library as well. God, it’s been SO LONG.
But yessss, stay tuned and hear everything else I have to say about this book all down below! 😁😊💙💚
PS the bigger breaks in paragraphs means I was working on that section at a different date than the one previous. Just to highlight how many times that happens. I have all the probably unnecessary information of how I tracked myself reading this book along with how I tracked myself writing this post soooo if that’s interesting to anyone, yay?!
BOOK LENGTH:
262 pages
MY RECOMMENDATION SCORE:
5/5
OUTSTANDING QUOTES AND IDEAS:
“Slow living is a curious mix of being prepared and being prepared to let go. Caring more and caring less. Saying yes and saying no. Being present and walking away. Doing the important things and forgetting those that aren’t. Grounded and free. Heavy and light. Organized and flexible. Complex and simple” — McAlary, 2018, p. XV
*I honestly just loved, loved, loved this use of a dialectic and the wondrous way it also describes life and that duality that so totally exists within it. I am a fan thus far of simple living!!
“Please don’t waste your energy comparing your path to that of a friend, a sister, or the author of slow living books. Comparison is a losing game, and I’d much prefer to see you run your own race” — McAlary, 2018, p. XVIII
I really appreciate this reminder. I think especially following more artsy accounts on Instagram, I’ve been chewing away at my own creativity and how I’m no where near a professional artist–but at the same time, I could still work on challenging that and say, Why NOT for my own art!! Creating art is such a process, especially water coloring or painting, because I never realized how much layering makes for some amazing, amazing productions. It’s not my particular forte and I still have to recognize that what I create, while not realistic to the true presence of light and shadow, it’s still worthy and it’s still important and it still matters!! Creating art is so subjective and while I can always improve and grow more, I need to recognize more of my strengths and realize that the path to getting there is windy and also remember why I CREATE in the first place: a soothing place of comfort, of creativity, of inspiration (in even the smallest of ways) and because it’s an art therapy/mindfulness perspective. If I create at that core again and again, not judging how it comes out or if I do, keeping that at bay and less overly self-critical, then I win, EVERY time!! Art can be complex and it can be minimal and simple. And it still matters either way. That’s what I have to remind myself of. And this quote really helps with that. Stop comparing and start appreciating more!! (Every artist starts somewhere. Rarely they’re profesh right at the start and the more I practice and hone my craft, the better I’ll get at it! Keep trying!!)
“My story certainly isn’t the neat, linear version. It is a messy, frustrating story of someone who takes her time learning lessons and is willing to take imperfect action anyway” — McAlary, 2018, p. 4
I love this honest and clear-cut reframe! I especially resonate more now with ‘imperfect action’. Perfection does not exist and any action taken is such an achievement (as will be outlined later in this book) and so worthy of being celebrated and congratulated!! I loved this and it’s still important to me today as it was when I first read and flagged it. There is such beauty in imperfections, if you twist the image just the right way (yet imperfectly!).
*”I needed to flip my thinking on decluttering and remove some of the urgency I’d attached to it. I was operating on a tight deadline, but I was the only one who knew about it, because I was the one who’d created it” — McAlary, 2018, p. 36
The accuracy here is just PHENOMENAL. Hah! Haven’t related to a group of words so much as this in a long time….
I add soooo many stipulations to everything these days and strive for that level of perfection I can barely ever reach, or even begin to and get to because I get so paralyzed in it that I just never fly to begin with. It’s made my life a MESS. For sure. Honestly.
*”There is always something you can do to move forward, a tiny action that will improve your current position. Pick up one piece of paper, and put it in the recycling bin. Find one pen that no longer works, and throw it away. Remove one book or magazine from the bookshelf, and acknowledge that a tiny step forward is still a step forward” — McAlary, 2018, p. 46
I love, love, love, love, LOVE thissssss. It’s so important. It’s SO true. As the book progresses, the theme is further brought up and explored and it’s EVERYTHING. I love how much it builds upon the last nonfic reading I think I at least published which was the Teen’s Guide on Overcoming Procrastination. The callback by someone else entirely but still within the same realm is fantastic and so very nurturing and true! Enjoyed this!! 💯🎉🙌🏻💚💚 (Also, high five to myself: I got to page 40 of this review work the third day I worked on this post soooo yay!!! Now I’m gonna go a little bit further to really make it special!)
“These obstacles of decluttering (money already spent, previous memories attached to things, time passing, needing them again someday, not wanting to throw it into a landfill) present us with an opportunity to move forward and let go, if only we allow it” — McAlary, 2018, p. 49
Just thought this was so amazing and powerful. That choice is inherently up to us. So pick apart a section of the room to declutter and work on not recluttering once that space is there!! I know, A LOT easier said than done. Still though, it’s wicked advice!! That choice, it’s up to us!!
“Give yourself a break. Making these changes is hard work and it’s totally normal to feel the effects of that. If that’s the case, see if there’s a tiny task you can do–pick up one thing out of place and return it, file one piece of paper–then go and do something completely unrelated to simplifying. Take a walk, have a cup of tea in the sunshine, read a book, listen to music, play with your kids, do something creative. This is the golden stuff of life. Sometimes you need to fill yourself up again before getting back to work” — McAlary, 2018, p. 54
I absolutely love and adore this wisdom, and I hope that you do, too!!! Amazing. Such an important highlight. Working on thy self is hard work so keep rewarding yourself, starting small and continuing onwards!! You’ve got this! (And now it’s time for a break for a bit for me, too!! Here I come Thor outline review!!)
All right, back to this review, even if it’s been a few days… We’re coming back with some hard hitting questions regarding keeping everything in sight because it reminds you of someone, something, some place or some time and how in the world you can declutter with all of that on your noggin:
*”What emotion does this item represent? Study it. What is it? Why do you feel it? Would you still feel that emotion without the physical item?.. Do you have multiple items that rouse the same emotion? What if you kept one or two things that are truly meaningful and representative of that emotion instead of blindly keeping everything that’s related to the person, time or place?” — McAlary, 2018, p. 57
I honestly just thought this was straight up spitting facts. It was badass to me at the time. They are nice, great questions with a lot of power behind them. A great way of sensing when to let go and when to hold on. Can’t get better than that!! 💚😊
The most relevant questions regarding decluttering on page 67, (McAlary, 2018) for me were ones 5, 6, 9 and 10: “How many of this thing do I really need? Do I have another item that can do the same job? Can I do without it? Do I want to do without it?”
Mindfulness is all about paying attention to the details. Being in the moment, noticing, mulling over, thinking and being present. It is truly a gift that continues to give and expand your world and perspective. Love that. 💚🌸🌻
*”Every day, I would find time to notice things, to practice tiny moments of mindfulness–spending time outside, breathing in the scent of flowers, studying the bees, and feeling the sun on my skin” — McAlary, 2018, p. 120
This was such a great reminder from this chapter and in this book!!! Mindfulness does NOT have to be this super fancy, elongated, time consuming thing. It’s all about noticing and being aware and having a conscious moment of thought and looking out at the world like a child: curiously and intrigued. So good and such a lovely reminder! What mindfulness have you practiced today that incorporates these small things?
Hi again, it’s been a while but here’s to completing another portion of this book review!!! (I have since finished reading the book as of 4/20/22 😁🤩🥰)
*”No one can live mindfully for you. And while there are absolutely techniques and strategies that experts can teach, those techniques and strategies are useless unless they’re implemented. Mindfulness is something you need to practice–yourself” (McAlary, 2018, p. 123-124)
This is such a simple and complex sentiment: that in order to really benefit from mindfulness or any other way or thing of life, you are the one and only one who has to actually practice it in your life to reap the benefits of it. No one can practice mindfulness for you and have it have positive effects on your life. It has to come from you. To begin and to end, with you.
An example of the smallest acts being mindfulness:
*”Standing in the kitchen, making a coffee? Pay attention to what you can hear, smell, taste. As you make your coffee, pay attention to your breath as it passes in and out of your nose. Feel the sensation of your feet on the floor and the sound of the hot water as it fills your cup” (McAlary, 2018, p. 124)
Mindfulness does not have to be a lengthy 30 min or hour long meditation, it can be in the smallest moments just noticing, the way you carry breath into your lungs, noticing the sights and sounds around you, watching flowers grow, the way the bees flap their wings, humming lightly and so much more. Even just noticing how you’re sitting in your chair or what you’re listening to. Being present in the moment and when you wander elsewhere, bringing that attention right back gently and calmly. That is mindfulness. Fun fact: When I read this part I was on a live stream so I got pretty mindful in the moment too, so that was fun!!
“Doing nothing: Fight the urge to connect with your phone and simply be. Be still and listen to your thoughts, feel your feelings, and recognize the urge to break the nothingness with action. Learn to let that urge pass, and you’re learning to acknowledge a desire without acting on it” — McAlary, 2018, p. 128
I really liked this quote and this message!! My ex had an uncomfortable way of experiencing silence and would need to constantly be engaged and alert and on the ball, they really struggled with allowing silence and moments of calm in the time we’d be hanging out. So I liked this reminder, too, because it’s okay to just do nothing some days. It’s definitely still hard for me, even having days where I just only sleep, yet sometimes that’s what my body needs and rest can be so beneficial for the mind and body and help to re-calibrate, recharge and get through the next mission up ahead!! 💟😀😙
“What is happening around you that you’ve never noticed before?…The way the light hits your coffee table or the pattern on the carpet in your doctor’s waiting room. The swirl of your fingerprints or the creases in a tree trunk. By switching to noticing mode, we immediately bring ourselves to the present” — McAlary, 2018, p. 134
What I really enjoyed and liked from this quote is that I do notice moments where I notice things (sunsets, the way the light hits through the window, the colors of a morning sun against the trees, the moon across water, etc.) usually for making art in the future or what could be photos. It also reminded me how I used to be with the trains when I was first going to uni, just having a moment of awareness where I hoped, as a young adult getting off at South Station, watching the way light hit the tracks and all the other trains and busyness of the atmosphere, I hoped that I wouldn’t take it for granted in the future and would be able to preserve some ounce of magic and wonder in the world instead of becoming jaded and cynical and unsatisfied with some of the little moments in life. Looking at the world like a child as an adult is so underappreciated and so, so worthy of interest and awe. I think during the pandemic when I did go up to Boston once, I retained some of that wonder and inspiration (particularly with knowing how things once were vs how they now appeared, it was pretty wild) and I hope that I can continue to maintain that going forwards. This book definitely gave me the payment of having more mindful moments and really let me see and notice things that I hadn’t for a while in my pursuit and following of mindlessness. So, little moments of mindfulness watching gnats outside on the porch, reading outside, feeling the sun on my back and cooking up like a little chicken has been SO lovely. 🥰🤩🤗✨
*”But ‘bad’ feelings are important, because in order to feel the highs of joy and happiness, we also need to understand the lows of grief, envy, or disappointment. Mindfulness allows us to acknowledge and accept such feelings, feel them in all their depth, and understand that they are valid and important. It also helps us to understand that they are not everything–even on days that feel like sadness has swallowed up the world” — McAlary, 2018, p. 141-142
*Being afraid of feeling too many things is such a human experience. And it’s the counter intuitive thought that in order for the feelings to pass, you have to allow them space to exist, acknowledgment in having existed and then let go and not take any action (good or bad) in experiencing them. At the end of the day, all thoughts and emotions just yearn to be felt. And for whichever duration of time they can be felt and noticed, they will fade and they will pass (so, don’t flood yourself for a whole day, rather feel that sadness or that anger for a short five mins and increase the duration of time until it can be processed from beginning, middle to end, and take no action regarding it to either suppress it or avoid it or flood yourself with it, instead feel it and allow it space and it will naturally pass. It will be seen that opening space for an emotion or a thought allows it to more quickly pass and show you that you can survive the storm and you can remain safe despite what the thoughts or feelings may tell you otherwise). And maybe those thoughts or emotions will come back, yet they always fade. Personally, after doing lots of DBT work, for me it goes from an experience of what would be instability for days on end, that it’s just a really painful twenty mins or so. In the last year, I’ve faded from truly experiencing my emotions for a painful twenty mins, but, as always, it’s a process and a fluid spectrum. So, don’t beat yourself up too much! You’ve got this. You can overcome it. And where there is a high, there is a low. Because duality exists in life just as it exists in recovery. Be careful out there, friends, and know that no matter how far you fall, you can always rise again, higher and higher than ever before, and the pain of that fall will not last forever. Stay safe. xx
Don’t engage with drama, no matter how intense the urge. Looking at that car crash is something you have to ask yourself is it worth spending your time on? If not, cut it out and use self check-ins to right your path ahead. If yes, then, well, have a merry time. There is certainly no shortage of it within online and entertainment environments.
Some great questions to ask yourself when you’re connecting and connecting online (instead of with people in real life): “Is this making life better? In a real way? Am I learning something? Is it worthwhile? Am I avoiding something? What is it? If this is causing comparisons, negativity or anger, why am I still here? If It’s bringing positive feelings of validation, popularity or connection, can I find that elsewhere? Should I be sleeping? Should I be working?” — McAlary, 2018, p. 162
These, I found, to be really great and immersive questions!! They really each have a great punching line and it’s so important to consider these when going off on various random Youtube rabbit holes or entering far and vast communities online when you should be doing more productive work hahaha. Awareness is definitely the first step. It’s something I have to work on, too. Remember, imperfect action is always better than perfection (because perfection does not exist and will never come around to happen, so it’s either now or never!!).
*”There is nothing more distracting than a constantly buzzing device, and research now shows it can take up to 23 minutes to return to our original task once we’ve been distracted by a beeping phone” — McAlary, 2018, p. 168
Thought this was super interesting and also just a great plug for utilizing that ‘Focus’ section of your iPhone when you’re like me and doing something fancy like working on a BES in the library or reading a book for a while or being at work, etc. 🖤🖤
**”I don’t do any of [the following skills] perfectly or even well necessarily, but I don’t let that stop me anymore. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s that small, imperfect action every day is going to get me further than one big occasional change” — McAlary, 2018, p. 190
I love, love, love, love, LOVE this. As I mention in another section, this fully ties in together that whole imperfect action/imperfection is worth so much more than a perfect action/perfection because perfection doesn’t tend to happen all that often!!! It’s a big component I’m doing on a group for Althea to release tomorrow (and here is where I’m stopping the review at the library, a VERY successful endeavor where I got to my projected ending line of p. 190 (from about 157), I did little bits of imperfect action and really rounded out this review to be so close or closer to finishing it!!! YAY!) This book has been SUCH a treat and I’m so glad that no matter how many days went by, I still stuck by it and read it and finished it. It feels so good to do and say that!! I might go shopping after this or I might not, we’ll see. But yeah, I loved this quote and it’s so relatable and true. I really think I’m in a lot better standing to overcome my perfectionism more so going forwards than I was before I picked up this book! Huzzah!!
**”Every moment of every day, I can find something to be disappointed by. I can look around me at any given second and find something that is lacking. Something not quite right. Something to complain about, or feel annoyed by, or saddened by. Instead, I try to flip it. If there is always something to grumble about, surely there’s also something to be grateful for in this same situation? My breath, my heartbeat, the sunshine, the clothes I wear, the people around me, the glimmer of hope. There is always something, no matter how dark the day” — McAlary, 2018, p. 196
I thought this was pretty awesome and spectacular. It’s pretty much the core of a two parter group at Althea that I’m going to do involving (first part) self-advocacy and (second part) Choices and Crossroads. Also this quote by McAlary is essentially the depth and goal of #RecoveryHome’s peer support and art project I created oh so many moons ago (year ~2015). So that’s fun!! But yeah, just that choice between I can look at something and only ever see the faults or I can spin it around and find all the beauty or the glimmer of something more. I just love that, so much. Tis a quote I’ll try to remember to put somewhere into Choices and Crossroads (which is essentially about how you always have a choice in life, even if it’s only for your outlook on a situation, you have a choice and recovery is a choice and choosing to live is a choice and all of that mumbo jumbo. I have the example page complete and I think I’ll be doing text for the main portion of the first half. Soooo yay! More groups to cook up soon. I added the imperfect action quote somewhere in this review into my group ‘Handling an Imperfect Life’ and it went really swell. So, yay, progress!! All right, I’m done blabbing for right here.)
There’s a really important part of the end of this book where the author is discussing the difference between constricted, intense, perfected balance versus a wobbly balance. She says:
“By balancing perfectly (or with that aim in mind) we exhaust ourselves. We’re never fully in a moment, because we’re worried about all the other areas of life that aren’t getting our attention in that moment. We’ve turned balance into a constant struggle rather than a long game” — McAlary, 2018, p. 216
This long game is this exercise, physically, that she does at her home where she ties a slackline a foot off the ground between two trees and tries to balance as she makes her way down it. To speak of balance in a metaphorical sense she revisits the physical aspect of it and sets up parameters for which the reader can uncover their own wobbly balance. I could TOTALLY relate to this because I do that so often–I’m trying to balance all the different avenues of my creativity and in doing so I just wind up overworked, avoidant, procrastinating, not in the moment and swallowed up by all the perfectionism I’m trying to coat everything with a thick lick of paint. It’s exhausting and McAlary is trying to show us why and how that’s not a slow or simple or helpful/healthy way of approaching balance.
For instance, I can think of four things I try to juggle all the time that I’ll think of while I’m supposed to be doing other things in the moment: blogging, Insta posts, videos (particularly in the timeline of reality, which do I edit first for the other mentioning of it to make sense? it’s exhausting), fan fiction, groups etc. etc. [[At this point in the review of working on it all, on 4/25/22, I have approx. 10 photo images left and 14 page flags to go through, huzzah!!! It’ll mean nothing to you but it’s nice for me hahaha]]
A relating quote to mark off the previous:
*”Balance is finding the correct weight for every area of life and understanding that the correctness of that weight will change over time. Balance is fluid and flexible. Balance is alive and aware. Balance is intention” — McAlary, 2018, p. 219
*I think sometimes, people like myself, get so caught up in the rigidity of plans and structure and outcomes that it makes for a pretty miserable experience overall when small little efforts or sets in motion could completely change the outcome or at least the process of that outcome. For instance, coming to the library to work on a book review is so great and refreshing and keeps the books–allllll the books–in the forefront of my sight and mind and vision and then that drives me further to plow through what I’m working on and listening to library noise or ambient noise from my Calm app is also super helpful too. Having a Dunkin treat falls along those lines as well. Even negotiating to myself which library to go to, instead of just opting to sleep and not go out at all. Balance, and slow living in particular, is all about intention. And just that awareness of having intention. And yeah, not having to juggle all these things all the time and rather set out with small steps and find that those incremental and maybe ‘easy’ things still are steps and still provide you with the peace of mind, relief and success than “one big occasional change”. 😉🤩 (It’s all about ‘correctness’ not ‘equalness’)
*”I choose imperfect, small actions over perfect every day. It moves us forward and means that more gets done” — McAlary, 2018, p. 234
Just as much as these quotes on imperfection (p. 190 one for instance) sum up my new path in life moving forwards and continuing to choose that imperfect action over that unattainable and high standard “perfect” that never comes for me, I feel lighter and more at ease. I don’t love my current set up to finish this review (in my bedroom, a few days later since I last worked on this) but it’s something and until the pain in my wrists really gets to me, I guess it will suffice. (It’s too late to go to the library now gwah). But yes, this situation is imperfect and it’s really grating my nerves but I’m gonna stick with it for as long as I can. And also, this little summation is wonderful, I think, too. It’s just a nice, small reminder with big waves of echoing information from all the other quotes that came before it and highlighting that fact that perfection does not exist and the big reason I wanted to work with these book’s quotes in my group on imperfection vs perfection. So, that’s awesome!! 💛😁😊
*”What does a realistically ideal day look for you? Not a holiday, but a work-school-cooking-meetings-laundry day. What time do you get up? What’s the first thing you do in the morning? What’s something you do that’s just for you? What do you eat for breakfast? How long does it take you to get ready for the day? What time do you leave? What’s the first thing you do at the office? What’s your attitude? What do you eat for lunch? When do you exercise? Which people do you spend time with? Do you listen to music? Will you have time to read a book? What’s the state of your desk at the end of the day?” — McAlary, 2018, p. 237
*What I liked about this depiction is that I just found it to be so fascinating and awesome. Really combing over all these questions to what an ideally realistic day would look like, taste like, sound like, etc is just so refreshing and worthy of mentioning in this review!! Hopefully I can remember to feature it in my video review as well hehehe
A final, great summation of the processing within this book:
“Life is complicated, and we don’t exist in a vacuum. A big practical part of slow living is building an awareness and learning how to combat the feeling of being overwhelmed before it takes over. Awareness and action. Noticing and evolving. Paying attention and making it count for something” — McAlary, 2018, p. 247
*It’s a practice. And thus, such a practice will take practice. It will take a repeated seating of becoming more aware and then producing alternative, novel noticing and action in regard to that noticing. It will take time. Give it time.
NOTEWORTHY IMAGES:
This part will be broken up into visual segments….
Segment A: Beautiful photographs of inspiration and creativity
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Segment B: Prompt Photos
The Barometer of Caring Example in book p. 16
See below for point by point description. My personal Barometer of Caring.
Final prompt for which I’ll create my own version of in a journal or my planner at some distant point in the future. 🙂 Stay tuned for an update!! Or maybe I’ll discuss it in the video review.
My Personal Barometer of Caring (featured in my planner):
TOP DOWN: 10 Mission Statement/eulogy worthy
Human connection
casting light onto the shadows
being worthy to hold this life
being a light to others
advocacy
authenticity
having a voice/story to tell
books
being an example
being productive
art
creativity
TEDtalks
Be inspiring
kindness
emotional honesty
drive
publishing my own books/art
being supportive/supported
passion
my dreams: art and recovery and peer support networks
5 I COULD CARE MORE:
languages
culture
world openness
life outside my bubble
chores/environmental self care
independence
observing people/societies
learning about others experiences different than mine: race, LGBTQIA+, world issues, immigration, finances
Math
Learning more about copyrights
spatial awareness
(*all this is stuff I took into account later as things I think I could improve upon.)
1 I COULD CARE LESS:
Reality TV
stock market
in fashion things
most sports
traveling
celebrity magazines
Basic prompt for this image:
Focus on what’s most important to you: what will make a life worth lived and what values are at the center of it? What do you want people to say about you or describe your life to others when you’re gone? Understand your why. Your why guides you like a compass. It’s up to you to live and act by it as much as possible. A slower, more content life to lead.
I completed this image in Jan. 2022
Final prompted image to come in the future as a pingback (either in video solely or as a post here and video coverage as well. 😊)
Section C: Final Images to Consider
Credit: p. 116. This is all within the mindfulness chapter that I just adored so much. This is the river of noticing, of focusing in on the little details of life and being present as much as possible. There’s some things listed here you can practice noticing and feeling with your 5 senses. Had to include this image. Also, I spoke about it on a live stream with this book on my Youtube channel too!!
Credit: p. 228. I loved this. Thought this was genuinely everything. Break it down into all those tiny steps and you’ll be set so free that you’re able to complete the task more than ever before. Remember, imperfect action over perfection every chance you get!!!
THOUGHTS AND IDEAS I HAD WHILE READING:
I would like to one day do some collaborative work with my partner Vaness(( on my channel. Maybe we can work on writing cards or doing Recovery Reinforcer for others out there. I think that would be very appealing to me and something fun and creative!! ((=Vaness was my partner before but since Mar. 2022 we’ve broken up so they are now my ex. Bleh
Speaking of postapocalyptic fiction, there’s a book I took out once from a library called “The Undead” and I never read it but I’d really like to!! I think it’s about zombies and such so that would be something great to find again and actually read this time! Let me see if I can find the author…. “Handling The Undead” by John Ajvide Lindqvist (Dat’s it!!–PS As of Mar. 2022, I found out I own this book actually lmao That’s freakin’ hilarious to me, as I forgot that I once upon a time bought it for myself! Oops? I also found a few other books I didn’t remember owning or buying but they’re giving me liiiiiifeeeee)
*I really enjoyed this idea on p. 9 of the author saying though she didn’t imagine herself making the largest impact on the world, she was hopeful to “make an impact nonetheless and be someone who didn’t wait for others to start making a change” (McAlary, 2018). I don’t know, it just lingered in my mind and felt too important to not mention in this review. There’s something so simple and yet so profound in it, I think. This intro talks about finding your why for a slower, simpler life and considering what the author wishes for her own legacy leaves the reader time and ability to contemplate their own and come into their shoes about where they want to go and be in life. It’s … refreshing.
*Books and stories are such an important facet to living and breathing and being. Like, the stories and the characters that can be told is just so limitless and so utterly beautiful. Sharing things a person has learned to help others or to share a common goal or to lead with purpose, it can all be found in books (and movies and other entertainment). It’s just so vital to life, honestly. It’s amazing. Even nonfic too, like, stories of others overcoming adversity or learning about subjects you haven’t yet experienced whether it’s being in the Universe itself and learning about black holes or grief and how to live with it, honestly, it’s just amazing.
*On par with legacy or eulogy statements, I’d love to do a group at Althea all about mission statements. That would be neat and a little less morbid and still very impactful!!! I wanted to do this before at Amaryllis but never did, so maybe the time to is now, buahahaha (McAlary, 2018, p. 14)
I’d love to do/improve on nail art and do some nail painting during a live stream some time!! Ideas for streams? Let me know in the comments!! I’ve done thus far: room care, books (chats, reading), filming in the library (half an hour is best because the quality after that went reallllly bad), hauls, art, listening to music, life updates, mental health chats etc.
“(I want to) encourage you to take imperfect action (of decluttering) anyway. No, you probably won’t nail it straight out of the gate, and that’s fine. That’s great, actually. Start anyway” — (McAlary, 2018, p. 65) What this quote reminds me of is a scene from Grey’s Anatomy where Cristina is telling Owen something and she is saying “Do it, Do it (even though you’re scared of it), anyway.” A nice little nugget, is all. 💜
I really liked the idea of turning around clothes hangers when it comes to discovering which items of clothing you’re actually wearing the most often versus ones you are not and then getting rid of the ones you aren’t. She recommends doing this at the start of a new season until the end of it and gathering what’s left and can be tossed then. Alsooooo I’d love to do more mini little vision boards. 🤩 (p. 70)
*Within the mindfulness chapter, I could really relate to the part where McAlary is talking about the giddiness of being in the moment playing hide and seek with her kids. It reminded me of some mindful and kid play I did after work at the start of March where I wound up going sledding on my back over and over again in the backyard hahaha I filmed it, of course, so I have tons of content for it to put together in the future. It was SO fun!!!! 💙❄❄☃⛄
*I used to create art through a basis of mindfulness and art therapy that I’ve since strayed away from over the years… Reading about mindfulness and focusing on the process or the sheer joy I get out of doing something I enjoy, especially just for me, or for the escapism, really makes me want to look into how to re-engage with that core of mindfulness while making art again. I think it’ll be a process, no doubt. I made a water color piece in April that was fun! I listened to Reddit stories while I did it and it was pretty refreshing!! I might continue it but I haven’t fully decided yet hehehe (~p. 125)
I love that art can be mindfulness!! Yey!! 💜💜💜
There’s a lot of nice little cardiophile moments scattered across this book which is nice and lovely.
*I got a few different group ideas for Althea from this book!! First three include: sleep hygiene, use of social media/the Internet with an open discussion on the subject, blue light and socials–though I think instead this can fall under sleep hygiene and like the discussion, I’d like to come up with a fictional social media account and what it would contain or show if it could be anything in the world. I think that’d be fun!! The other idea later in this book’s end I got was focusing on imperfect action over perfection in Handling an Imperfect Life–it’s a group I’m currently working on and coming up with! (4.22.22) It will have a coloring component of a broken vase and touch on about six perfectionism quotes and maybe a small discussion and then my guide the group script with an example page filled out. 😁 I’ll be finishing it tonight so I can do it tomorrow!!
*Regular breaks from social media is super great!! I find when I work at Althea for my shifts, I only check my phone two or three times in a whole 8.5 hours so it’s the perfect cleanse of the Internet times there!!! I even make sure if I did get new comments online that I wait until AFTER I’ve finished work than read them in the moment, potentially get triggered, and struggle with the rest of my shift thereafter. Also, scheduling a post to go up before a work shift is kinda fancy too because then I’m not staring at the page for a solid hour, refreshing it frequently to see how many views it got or if it’s getting any feedback. Hahaha
Pomodores was something I utilized once and a few times on my iPod via an app, I think I’d like to get back into doing those again. I think it’d be fun and productive!! 😊😋😎
*The chapter on a cabin in the woods was one of my favorites. It really reminded me of #RecoveryHome and I loved that. I should really dust off the idea soon and return to making it into something!!!
*Within the section regarding vacations, the author mentions how she likes to visit more local communities, independent bookshops, local libraries, markets, etc. I could REALLY relate to doing this when my family and I went to Germany in summer 2019 to visit my brother hahaha. I went to a local book shop from where we were staying in one place and bought up to 4 books from there. Not in German, they’re English written books, but I can still recall 3 of them from memory of their covers and loosely what they’re about. I was also telling this second story the other day at work, but um, we went to this little town in Germany and combed up and down the hills and up the ladders and around the scenery and we, before dinner, were in a local bookshop. My brother got bored (he’s not into books much) so he and my dad went away to the place we were going to eat at. Well, I found this super fancy German written coloring book with little interactive exercises you could do within it (maybe like word searches, dot by dots etc) and it was so cool and fascinating but my Mom was saying how we should go get dinner, come back for it later, or even that I had plenty of coloring books at home (true). Anyways, we go back to meet up with the other two and I’m antsy waiting for food, having connected with this book in my head and my Mom offered, noticing me, that I could go back to the shop and buy it. I was excited and pranced about to do so! Until, LEGAD, it turns out the shop had closed early. I was really sad and disappointed and to this day I don’t know what book it was and we left from that town that same day so I never got the fancy German coloring book. Alas….
The shades of color fading into ombre that exist on p. 191 (white to oatmeal to pink) was just so satisfying and beautiful.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM POINTS:
Hi there, or again, whichever comes first. I think I’d like to add a section to this BES where I mention some of the things that I personally disagreed or had a different reaction to than what was written out. I think a lot of this review is singing high praises to the book, which is valid and true, I also have reservations that some things didn’t apply as much to my experiences or my directions in life and so I wanted a section all about talking about those things as they don’t fit well enough in other sections.
*So a big theme that came up for me even originating on page 14 is that this idea that a person buys things and items for the status or social/societal status of it. For me, I don’t relate to things in that way. I don’t buy fancy things for what Joe down the street will think of it (and by extension, me) but rather because I like it, I want it or I can already picture a formidable use for it within my mind (often happening just in the store itself). I mean, I’m no stranger to having lots of things (the clutter is bordering on hoarding, let’s be real, and also I have such a hard time letting go of things, even the most “useless” looking things (old device cases, tags of wallflower scents, unusable gel pens, many little containers of hand sanitizers (but what if this scent doesn’t come back? There’s just a teensy bit left, I have to save it.), potential art pieces like cardboards for vision boards and other little things like some bags of items because I could use them as backdrops in photographs (which, I’ve been saving for YEARS and still have NEVER done that with its use)). So yeah. I have some leftover OCD for sure. Don’t get me started on the amount of journals and books I own…. Or paint. Watercolor and acrylic. 😋😛
*My point though, is that in the store I find and finagle an attachment to things. I am always buying (which, honestly might be a problem of its own) things because I WANT to or I’d LIKE to or I think it’s COOL and will SERVE A PURPOSE. Sure, I can definitely go overboard (the years worth of stationery to-do lists I barely ever use, the mountain of paper I own, the multiple boxes upon boxes (already in use and housing things I either don’t know where to put or belongs to that box’s home) and so on) but I never buy anything based on what I think other people will think of me because I have it. I’m pretty open about my room care that I pretty much chronicle on my Youtube channel (though out of date because I’m so behind in my editing of videos) because I think that type of stuff is neat and interesting and it’s been updated and upgraded so much of the time and even though that’s opening a grand door for judgment or possible judgment, I still enjoy it and find it fun and easy videos to do. So, I share it! And them. And myself. Because that’s fun. And fun is definitely worth hoarding and keeping around.
I just never buy stuff for other people’s judgments and thoughts. I do buy stuff for other people–when my ex Vaness and I were together, I bought lots of stuff (usually matchy-matchy) for them and for me and for the two of us. I still miss that I’ve now had to rearrange the small pile I was brewing of stuff. But that’s a story for another day (in a future bridge post for the monthly word prompt, that I’ll have to figure out how to manage).
So, this was something I couldn’t really relate to at the end of the day for myself.
*Another thing I couldn’t relate to was the stance towards shunning or at least profoundly limiting social media usage. True, especially on Insta there’s lots of ads for cool things, I agree and admit to that, however, I do crave a sense of human connection and socialization (don’t we all?) that comes from the Internet and places such as social media. I don’t think that’s inherently a “bad” thing either. There can be amazing human connections you find online. Many other artists, creatives, enjoyable things and friends. True, some people are… creepy, blast through your boundaries like no tomorrow (I’ve been encountering some of these lately, but a good block does wonders, I can say), hide both plainly in view and in the corner of the dark basement, have horrible intentions and want to abuse, manipulate, gaslight and run other people down into the ground and yeah, you can’t always super tell which person is which from behind a screen–AND the Internet can still be magical and lovely and wonderful. It’s both. Alas. It’s both. So, where there is the soft and shiny surface of the Internet, I like that. I like that a lot. It’s unfortunate we have to accept the other parts of it because they do exist and I find myself more and more concerned being a female online but alas, it is what it is. So, I crave healthy, positive attention. And I search for it online. I probably always have. Good or bad. I think that relates to some of my even old deviantART days.
Basically, a big part of My Why (which hopefully I’ve attacked in other sections so you’ll know what I’m talking about) is at the heart of human connection. I do value social media. And I crave a community again. *I had it once, I’d like to revisit it again now. I’m not sure how to do that and I think I’m a pretty fair person so it’s just a matter of not settling for less and working harder to find those people out there who need maybe a little extra guidance, some creative exploration or just sharing the spoken/written word. Some of those people out there who need a light in the darkness. Some of those people out there who will respect and affirm my boundaries and let us be a loud roar in an otherwise small and dark little hole of one whispered voice. Mmm.
*Another point I’d like to mention, related to this idea of trolling online, constructive criticism, criticism, and growth and overcoming is that I am probably the most adept and ready for these potential waves in the crowd than I’ve ever been in life. A couple times this year I’ve had to block a couple of people, because I realized some warning signs, because they blatantly disrespected my boundaries, because I didn’t need to fester in old wounds and they, at the time, were displaying unhealthy standards and interactions with me that could border on pure toxicity (“No Time for Toxic People” by Imagine Dragons is a godsend.) There were times where I questioned the severity of it, times where I laughed at the abundant hypocrisy and ridiculousness and times where I got counseled by a good friend that no, my calculations were accurate, on point, and even a little slow at times to responding. Either way, I operate my life on the function of, well, avoidance. If someone is talking crap about me on another website, the answer is simple: I don’t want to know. I can’t get upset about something I don’t know. And the Internet is a pool for that type of thing to happen. It’s pretty much inevitable. I’ll just try and make it a good impression or something most people can say nice things about. I know that I’m not for everyone and not everyone will like me or agree with me, and overall, that’s okay. There’s so many people on this planet so, no worries. If someone wants to make entire websites about me, well, that’s a little odd but you do you, I guess. I think for constructive criticism or even true criticism: I know that I don’t do everything right (for instance, I’m super aware that I’m a very chill Youtube channel and my live streams are definitely more than a little boring) and that I can learn a lot more about things and grow my channel, my self, my skills and my creative maneuvers far more than I currently am today and I really do welcome any improvable parts. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m such a tiny little channel that I don’t hear a lot of that feedback, however, I am open to it and I want to get better. I guess, my point is, I think I’m ready and with the right amount of supports in my life to move forwards and get better in all aspects of my crafts. Video editing is still so new to me but I’d like to learn! Hmm.. maybe I can find some related Insta posts/profiles on this!! I’ve been learning soooo much about water coloring the past few months hahaha
All in all: I know my story and my voice matters. I just have to work on honing it and perfecting it and also accepting that it’ll be imperfect. Plus creating is always fun!!
I don’t think I buy things to “fill a gap in my life”, I think I buy things to fill a purpose in my life. xx — McAlary, 2018, p. 73
*So, McAlary (2018) on p. 85 continued to make me think and see a difference in the way she’s used celebrity magazines specifically (but also home interior/exterior design stuff too) to contribute to the feelings and comparisons of people who ‘have it better than you’ and constantly make you feel like you have to one-up and get the next best thing–I don’t really do that kind of thing. I don’t personally read celeb magazines as they’ve never really interested me. I’ve seen a couple here and there, maybe even some interest in a few, or when I was at the hospital but overall it’s never been something I got into. I can definitely get distracted online with articles and things, especially when I open up Google on my phone. Overall, I DO enjoy home interior/exterior design things and a lot of the mags I DO own (that I’ve predominantly stolen from therapist offices, psychiatrist offices and hospitals) I use for inspiration and motivation and fanciness for scrapbooking/collage making haha. I really do enjoy browsing through like mini recipes or makeup ads or hair stylist posts or tips and tricks or home stuff or gardening things. Again, I don’t really plan or buy things for what OTHER people will think of me rather what I enjoy and like for myself. Or it even inspires ME. Just a continued observation I had while reading this book! ❤❤
I’m biased!! I really love and enjoy seeing other people’s workspaces and stationery hahaha. I was JUST thinking if I could move my old laptop some place else and keep my desk more organized, I could actually work on working there instead of on my bed. Hahaha. I really do love to see other people’s stuff like in their bedrooms, where they work, their desks etc. I just think it’s fascinating!! Definitely can pull you into buying extra stuff though, so I do understand that POV! 🤩😝 (McAlary, 2018, p. 86).
*On the topic of constructive criticism, McAlary discusses on p. 157 that the nature of some humans is to take “any opinion different from ours, any criticism, any worldview, as the work of a troll or a hater. We end up with our own echo chamber full of people who think like us, people who won’t challenge our opinions, people who tell us we’re right because they’re right” — (2018). Personally, this is something I really, really strive not to do online. I hope that that can ring true even when tough conversations go sour. It’s so important to understand the difference between hate and criticism or constructive criticism. Saying “you’re an asshole” is different than “I think you’re struggling with intense feelings right now and I feel upset by your blow-out, maybe we can both take a break for a while?” Not everything online is hate, pure hate in its rawest form, it certainly CAN be at times yet it shouldn’t overpower a discussion to be had or minimize the depth of the conversation. It’s okay to disagree and it’s only expected to remain civil, which some people struggle with. It’s all about weeding out when someone is purposefully (from what we can discern and maybe what the majority thinks) being hurtful and toxic versus someone offering another viewpoint to something we’re conversing about. That is all. 😊
“If you’re popping down to the store, it’s okay to leave your phone behind. Going out for a coffee, or out to dinner, heading off on a run or to visit a friend, it’s okay to not always be on call” — McAlary, 2018, p. 173
The main issue I have with this notion is what if something happens, something dangerous, and you don’t have your phone on you to phone for help or a friend or contact someone? I would rather have my phone on me just in case and just have it off notifications than not to bring it with me at all. Like, if I’m outside my house on my property or on the back porch, maybe I won’t have it but even if I’m walking my doggo, just in case, as a young woman, I’d want to have it in case anything came up. Again, just notifications off is fine. I mean, what if I went for coffee and left my phone at home but my car broke down a mile into the destination? Then I’d be kinda screwed. That’s just my take though!!
*I don’t know, McAlary p. 178, I feel like we can argue that time spent online can be time spent creating art and doing good things too. Creating is very fun and doing that instead of consuming others’ stuff is worthwhile. And it’s also good to consume a bit of others stuff to get ideas for your own creations! I feel like online time, when wielded right, can be pretty fantastic. But offline time is good, too!! 😜
“I don’t need a photo or a video to remember [the way my son smiles as he looks up at me]. And I don’t need an audience to validate it. Paying real attention and drinking in those moments imprints more on our brains and our hearts than taking a photo ever would” — McAlary, 2018, p. 180
*Personally, I disagree with this. Maybe it’s threefold because I’m a photographer and also as an artist and also also as a content creator. I think more and more video stuff is becoming like a mini extension of holding the things I’ve bought for instance or the things I enjoyed and drank in or events that I want to remember and such. Because if I did leave it fully up to my brain, I wouldn’t remember it. So, I disagree. I think the wobbly balance is more likely and photography is an amazing skill and art form that has more of a story behind it than just a quick snap here and there, though I also just did some snaps on my phone just now hahaha There’s just so much that can be communicated through it. And validation from others, yeah, it can be a factor, and also just a way of connecting with someone else and getting input or ideas from them or yeah, a nice little ass pat. It’s OKAY. And it still matters–at least to me!!
“So have a conversation and connect. Online posts are not documentaries. They’re a highlight reel. No one shows tantrums and arguments and dirty laundry and hangovers and bloated tummies and bad hair days unless it serves them to do so” — McAlary, 2018, p. 180
*Gahhhhhhh!!! I DISAGREE once again. Personally, I find quite a few people who try to show all the bare bones and all the other pieces of the puzzle behind that ‘highlight reel’. I can get behind that some people’s lives are made out to only be all the good, that’s true. AND I think especially within the mental health awareness campaigns, that more people are out there showing and sharing their recovery journeys (like myself) and all the nitty gritty regarding it. And it doesn’t always have to be because they’re being served to do so, I think sometimes it could be in some cases, and a lot more of the time with mental health, people are looking for a community (myself included) and a space to celebrate life and overcome hard things. It doesn’t necessarily have to be more than that. Yes, it’s attention seeking and hopefully it’s positive or healthier attention than other methods. People being honest about their lives and moments of darkness don’t always have to come from a core of ‘it serves me to do so’. But those are just my thoughts…
A question I hath raised on p. 182 when there was a discussion about scanning through the phone was procrastination, I asked, But when is it procrastination and when is it taking breaks? Maybe a break could be some quick online time. It can fall into a few hours for sure so you gotta be careful but still. When is it a break and when is it procrastination/avoidance?
Also if you have a business based online or being an artist, does your use of the online game shift or change? If you’re a partner of Youtube and you make paid content, is that different? Or is it still as equally applicable to the layman just watching and making videos?
MY EXPERIENCE: WHAT KEPT ME READING & THE BOOK’S IMPACT ON ME:
This book made me look closer into my habits, the lifestyle I live, the nuances of the day, the thoughtfulness and vision to see more and see far ahead and enjoy the little things and think about ways to let go of some things I’ve held onto for too long and also redecorate my room and provide me with insights I would never have found, not in the same way at the same time in this universe, if I had never read this book (which has been overdue for a year, soooo, yeah).
Something else that helped me indirectly directly from reading this book was wanting to let go (declutter, so to speak) some of my old years and years ago worth of beads. I wound up buying a brand new container and although I underestimated being able to clean out an old container and toss that out or reuse it for my Mom or something, I still got some progress through it and changed it in some ways so that helped me a lot psychologically as it was like closing an old chapter and moving forwards with new beads, new ideas and lots more fun. I’d still like to fully get rid of the old container or maybe just create with paint on it or decorative tape, because it’s been only one way for years but maybe one day I’ll set up that as a project all on its own.
Another thing I was able to do while I was reading this book was to finish watching “Thor”!! Took me literally almost an entire year but I DID IT. It was great. I’m gonna try and outline the review for it next as I’m working on this current review on the third night of writing it. But yeah, that was awesome to finish! I have been already craving and trying to look into when I can finally start watching “Captain America: The First Avenger”! 😁😁😁
Something that genuinely made me laugh and deserves an honorable mention because I told my friend Madeline about it far after I had read this part: (about keeping things ‘just in case’)
“I’ll keep these five surplus spatulas just in case. Just in case I’m cooking five batches of pancakes at once? Just in case I lose my spatula and all the stores no longer sell them?” — McAlary, 2018, p. 59
It’s such a small thing, an easy laugh yet it is SO soooo true hahaha. That’s really how it feels!!! 😅
Another thing that came out of this book for me was wanting to redecorate my bedroom again. I am still a classic hoarder so I have to have SOME memory of doing it somewhere in some place (so I’ll be filming it as a video time lapse and then eventually place it upon my Youtube channel, check out my links in the About Me section if you want to see that or check it out through my Insta page!) but still, hitting that moment of ready to let go of some accomplishments or some things from people I’m no longer friends with (and legit throw those things away, at least one for sure) is just so refreshing, so light-making and so wonderful!! I’ve been wanting to for a long time and I still have yet to do it (as writing this paragraph at the start of April) though I know when it comes, it’ll come and it will be so freeing and enjoyable. Something NEW to my eyes, my life and my space! Huzzah! (Inspiration from p. 60 on about 2/23/22)
Related quote on the opposite page about the above paragraph: “Let go of the guilt of removing the item from your home. Let go of the weight of the thing you are keeping. Be proud that you are surrounding yourself with things that are truly meaningful” — (McAlary, 2018, p. 61)
Although I’m not sure how well I can execute the idea, on p. 71, McAlary suggests having a “one in, one out” boundary regarding if you want to bring a new item in, you have to get rid of one you already own (2018). Additionally, she also recommends nominating an area of space for whatever things you collect and NOT exceed that space (having those items in on-growing piles) which is also going to be really hard for me but yeah. It’s a great little suggestion though!! I would LOVE to go through my writing box and make room/rework it into a newer box I got years ago at an antique place. Also, that whole corner of my room needs to be redone and worked on. Soooo yessss. Ideas for days!!
Speaking of what happened in the above paragraph, I identified and learned this for myself:
I would love to revamp my bedroom: get my new writing box together, add some shelves, create a hygge nook in my closet (which means going through all the stuff in there again with my Mom’s help (some of it is hers too)), a basic closet clean-up as such and it would totes be awesome and wicked and this section of the book really inspired me and got my gears turning to what I want to be different in my life moving forwards. YAY!
I could probably put the fancy coffee maker I got for Secret Santa at Althea last year in my closet for a while as I’m not using it and won’t for the foreseeable future (though it’ll be a great addition to my own home someday!!). 😊😙
“Take a closer look at who you follow on social media and how their posts make you feel. If you’re following them for travel inspiration or health tips and feel like you’re learning or being inspired, that’s great. But if you find yourself comparing homes, bodies, or wardrobes and walk away feeling inadequate, it’s time to reconsider the impact their input is having on your life” — (McAlary, 2018, p. 87)
*This. This. THIS. For the last few months, since Sep. 2021 I have been finding Instagram to be a space of lots of creativity, artistry inspiration, great motivational and cute designs regarding wellness and health, recovery and so on. YES there are lots of ads which sucks but also sometimes I do get things from it when certain sales go up or I follow people who do art for their living and I can help contribute and get something cool out of it too!! Twitter, in contrary, especially in 2022, has just been a pool of depressing content. Like, genuine depression and also just sad, woe is me, look how awful my life is, comparisons, too much darker sides of mental health stuff and so on. Plus, I have a past there I’m not super proud of. And I also resent it because it took me light years away from this blog and I’m just so done with that. I barely go on anymore and when I do it’s never for genuine notifications or it’s only for DMs with one person. From reading this book, I think I’m very, very, very likely to delete my account some time in April 2022 (been putting this off, so some time more likely at the start of summer). It’s just either too depressing or too full of spoilers for MCU stuff. And I’m already soooo behind in MCU stuff so it’s just NOT worth it anymore. I think when I delete it, I’ll be able to focus my efforts more on Insta and promoting my stuff there online as well as here on this blog more. The fact that I want and am WILLING to delete it entirely is major forms of progress. I AM going to make a thumb for it for Insta and on Twitter to announce it officially (especially once I pick a date; April 2017 is when I made the account, funnily enough) so if anyone from there wants to follow me elsewhere, they can and they’ll have some notice. But yeah. It feels good to leave and also a bit bittersweet, but I know I’ll be okay and yeah. It’ll be nice to let go and grow elsewhere without constraints and bad reminders. So, that’s my plan! There will be some things I miss but overall it’ll be like a clean slate and I’m here for it. I’ve already changed it on YT and my blog to not mention Twitter anymore. I just have to adjust my FFN profile and I’ll be doing new business cards with updated info too. Yay!
*And this is not to say completely that I get NO comparison games from Insta either. I definitely do, especially with artwork. However, I’ve apparently learned a thing or two about water coloring and that’s been super fun and uplifting so far!! Hopefully with more time and effort I’ll feel loads and loads better about it. Art, it turns out, is a lot about layering hahaha
No context point of view: I love libraries. They are so amazing. And less money so yay. But I also enjoy book stores and book places. Book nooks!!! GAH! 😍🤩🤗
Something I’ve never fully tried before but was suggested in this book (mainly taking out library books, actually reading them and then buying your own copy for your collection; McAlary, 2018, p. 96) is to reread books multiple times. I’ve always WANTED to and I know of a few handful I could name at the top of my head that I’d choose but I’ve never fully, really, truly DONE it. It would be interesting and very cool though, I think! First I should work on actually completing the books I do borrow and own hahaha. But I can relate to extremely lengthy and detailed book ‘reviews’ and thousands of page flags and comments all upon them and somewhat towards highlighting and writing in them too (when they’re my own).
Since I mentioned it in the Summary section, I’d like to mention it further here: I LOVED the mindfulness dedication chapter. It was soooo, so relatable to read about someone else’s journey from mindlessness to more mindfulness. And not the mindfull but rather mindful. It was just SO beneficial for me and something that really made me connect fully with this book and be so, so, so glad I got the chance to read it and let it help transform my life!!! I could sooo relate to the mindless functioning of watching screens while eating, rushing through one task to the next, etc. I’m still not perfect of course though I’m trying to be more aware of when I want to be mindless and take in more mindfulness, present moment type of stuff. It’s a process for sure. And hey, every small step is STILL a step forwards!! 💚💚🤍🤍🤍
McAlary, 2018, describes her new and improved morning routine on p. 166 as “not waking to her phone in the morning having cut down on her technology use massively. She now gets up, practices yoga, meditates, showers, gets dressed and makes a cup of tea before she’s looked at any of her screens at all.”
*I found this to be super neat and inspiring. I think I’d like to film a video in the future where I go over my general morning routine and then do a dream morning routine and make a goal out of it and see what can happen over a course of time!! I definitely wake up to screens so yeah, maybe tinkering with this could be fun!! Alsooooo I am planning to do a whole video/couple videos out of this book review too on my Youtube channel in case you’d be interested in seeing and hearing that!! XX I want to do it before Apr. 30th–or at least film it all–because that’s when I plan to return this book by so I can get the charges wiped clean. Yay!! (More likely will be moved towards the first or second of May 2022 now.)
*Another thing that stuck with me from this book is the work I’ll be continuing to implement moving forwards to overcome my perfectionism. My perfectionism has seriously corroded all areas of my life, including, especially, online content and creating, so I think continuing to work on challenging it and moving forwards with imperfect action is going to be really key for me and really helpful overall. I made an Insta post about it before, though I didn’t cover all the areas of my life impacted by it but still. It was a start. And I’d LOVE to get back into gaming!!! And crocheting….It’s a process. 😙🤗 One that I think I am up to, now!! Also, another great thing about this book is that I read it after I did the book on procrastination for teens so building upon those little movements of progress as movements was so helpful and beneficial to find, read and savor again!! (Every little bit is still movement!!)
*”As I’ve learned to [shut down my inner mean girl and her vitriol], I’ve started hearing a different voice–my own. And it’s confident and assured. Not cocky, but convinced I have value. I couldn’t write this book without that voice. I couldn’t share without that voice” — McAlary, 2018, p. 195
What I really loved about this quote and why I’m sticking it in this section is because I can relate so much to it. With all my advocacy over the years, I had to have known that my story mattered, my voice was important and there was something more I could do with my life and telling that story over and over again, in all sorts of ways. Advocacy is such a big part of my journey and so much of what I’ve wanted from years ago (careers, job aspects, hair coloring) is all being paved way into today and manifesting and being created in ways I only ever dreamed. It feels so, so, so good to work on being this beacon, I hope not just for me, but for other people too. While advocacy has slightly distorted the way I see public vs private information regarding my own self, it really gave me back so much. I’ve been inherently believing that I’m important and I’m worthwhile, that inner Me voice (Recovery Raquel, as I like to refer to her by), even in times or despite the times where I’ve wandered astray, overall it’s been and become a genuine core belief. I’m not sure exactly to whom it may matter but I’m here to stay, for sure. I want to continue raising my voice and shouting from the rooftops with different amounts of imagination, information, scope and…another “i” starting word I just forgot hahah. Oh! Passions. Yes, passions.
*So yeah, I could really relate to this quote in an advocacy based way. I also spoke about it and this idea a little on my last live stream when I was reading in progress. And I’ll be mentioning it later in the video reviews as well, hopefully. If I can find this section again and reread it and put it all in together hahaha
“Is The Hunger Games the best book series ever? Not necessarily. But it came alive for me, and I remembered what it was like to be lost in the world of my own vision. The words weren’t mine, but the images in my mind’s eye were. I was captive. I was mindful. I was both completely present and totally absent” — McAlary, 2018, p. 200
*I had to keep this line into this review. Like, is this not what the entire quest of reading anything truly is?? That momentary escape and that beautiful juxtaposition between you’re there in that chair or on that bed or on that blanket and yet you’re also light years away in some other person’s mind and memory and existence and span of time? I have a bookmark that I made for my fic novel reading, like super simply scrawled on a scrap of paper, with the quote that reads: “Maybe this is why we read, and why in moments of darkness we return to books: to find words for what we already know.” That’s what this quote reminds me of from this current book. Nonfic is a lot easier for me to read nowadays, heh, sort of, and fiction is a lot harder because I have to wait until I’ve had enough momentum to get lost within the plot itself but I loved this quote and it’s so true. Just finding the written word in another person’s or creature’s or whomever’s mind is so unique and beautiful. And I can totally relate to the present and absent thing because when I do get lost in a book that’s what happens or when I do get lost in a really captivating fanfic or the journey my own writing brings to me writing my own fanfics or sometimes with blog posts or reviews. It’s truly other wordly. And it’s amazing. And wonderful. And the most freeing and containing thing ever. I love books. I’m currently surrounded by them right now, at the library, and it’s so refreshing. I think, with time and effort and patience and practice, I’ll be able to restore the way I read books going forwards.
*It wasn’t as bad as it’s gotten in the last couple of years, so maybe there’s a way for me to unlock that soon. Become unchained. **I am also considering reading back over some of the old books from over the years I’ve read and reviewed on here (not to mention all the handwritten based notes I have in various journals and notebooks for book reviews that never got typed, edited or published on here.) I’m thinking my first few will be “The Pied Piper” and “Ash”. I don’t think I shared “Ash” with you guys in a published fashion but I always think of that book. God, I loved it. We’ll see for sure!!!
*Let me know if you’d be interested in that!! Plus I’m going to be bringing more books content to my Youtube channel and my Insta so check out those when they launch!!! I’ll make a pingback to this post once it’s up with the video for it and vice versa. The video if longer than 25 mins will be two parts, otherwise if it’s less than that, I’ll keep it as one cohesive thing. Yay!
There’s a real great conversation in the Wobbly Balance chapter about how stupidly effective SMART goals are and how they are soooo necessary. McAlary, even on the previous page, was talking about just becoming more aware of when you’re saying yes to certain tasks (usually mindless ones) and no to other tasks. Take stock of it for a few days and see where it all takes you and then start to be more proactive in changing that routine–instead of scrolling social media, go make your own art. Instead of watching Netflix, read a book etc. She also mentions how a good way to procrastinate less is to break it down, down, down. Focus, if you have to write 500 words, with just opening a new Word document. Focus on just a simple draft in 5 mins. The more you break it down and create imperfect action (rather than waiting for perfection) the more you’re a lot more likely to get done (I’ve tried it myself and it’s amazingly productive and receptive!!!) — McAlary, 2018, p. 224-225
Another super helpful tip: “Keeping up on tasks (cleaning for example) means they actually take less time overall. The kitchen only takes twenty minutes to clean each week as opposed to the deep clean it would require if only done occasionally” — McAlary, 2018, p. 227
I mean, can it get any better than this?? I like to play music or text to speech Reddit stories or scary stories to the tracks of my life when I have to reorganize things (often filming them in my room, because it’s my room care stuff haha) or make different piles of things and all of that. Makes an otherwise energy draining task into something more enjoyable.
“Drop your standards (to a point). If your standards are hovering somewhere around perfection, it’s very easy to never be satisfied by your performance. When you get sick or have to work late or spend longer chatting to your neighbor, it’s easy to beat yourself up over the skipped yoga class or leftovers for dinner. *But by embracing the ish, dropping your standards just a little, letting go of the all or nothing mentality, you can accept that sometimes life just happens that way, and there’s no need to feel like a failure….Opt for done rather than perfect” — McAlary, 2018, p. 229
*I am absolutely enthralled and in love with this concept. This book, overall, came at SUCH an important time in my life and I think I genuinely took a LOT out of it and I’m so glad my stubbornness was there for me and even though I’ve had it out for at least 6 months and have gotten billed for “losing it” I still love it and I still got SO MUCH out of it. It’s remarkable and so lovely. I love this so much, the ish rather than perfect. The being kind to yourself when things don’t go according to plan. And of course, opting for done rather than perfect. I’ve been able to do SO MUCH recently that I’ve been putting off and off and off because I want it to be “perfect”. But done is SO MUCH BETTER than perfect.
*I finally emailed my work employer about groups stuff. I finished reading this book. I’ll finish this review and publish it. I’ll make videos about the book. I grew more and learned more than I have in a long time. I’ll have a good relationship with this book. I worked on some fan fiction. I edited tons of videos. I blogged here and there too and yeah it’s just so amazing. I’m so, so, so grateful. Today even I went to the library, even if it wasn’t the one I wanted to go to, it was the one I DID and I was kinda beating myself up over being tired but said, hey, self, even if I just go down the street to the library that’s SOME library time versus none. And that, that is just so huge. This book is amazing and I just got so much more out of it in all areas of my life than if I would have gone by not knowing or not reading or not completing it. And for that, genuinely, I scream: THANK YOU. (And thank YOU so much for reading all my musings!!!)
Something I really liked and resonated with came from this: (McAlary, 2018, p. 242)
“I tell you [you’ll backslide sometimes with old, familiar patterns of thought, emotion or behavior] because there is a delicious liberation in acknowledging that our efforts will be imperfect, embracing it, and moving forward anyway, in understanding that there will be missteps along the way and to start walking in spite of them”
What I enjoyed about this quote is that highlight that things will not be perfect in embracing, finding, learning and understanding a slower, simpler life. And with that, the author STILL encourages us to plow forwards, that the ultimate goal is worth the slip ups that will naturally happen and try to flounder us–if you continue on despite it, you’ll reach the goal and the process will be rewarding in and of itself, too. It was something I wanted to mention within this review, as well. 💜💛💙🌸
Alllllsoooo, you’re almost done!!! Stick with me another moment…
The author’s personal philosophy’s pooled from the words of Courtney Carver, Rhonda Hetzel, Henry David Thoreau and Carl Honore
Amy Poehler, Tina Fey and Judd Apatow’s books on creativity and identity
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin
Bronnie Ware’s Regrets of the Dying blog post
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
Watch a video of a chameleon catching bubbles
Destination Simple by Brooke McAlary
Next up…..
“Shut Your Eyes Tight” by John Verdon (fic)
“Getting Away” by Jon Staff (nonfic)
Annnnnnnd that is OFFICIALLY this completed Book Exploration Station post!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, EXISTING AND GETTING THROUGH ALL OF THIS. I know it was QUITE the project but it was so important to me and so worthy of my time and energy. I hope I gave enough commentary here to be able to utilize as much of the quotes and content for this review! I can’t wait to do my video reviews too. I really want to get it done by the start of May, so that Sun and Mon and finally returned but yes, I think I have PLENTY of material to work with until then and I can at least be satisfied that THIS review is up and edited and written and completed by the end of April 2022 and not more after then. YAY!
Thank you all so, so, so, so, so much. Let me know which quote stuck out to you the MOST. Which image did you fall in love with? Which concept (mindfulness, imperfection) clung to your soul the most? Which discussion section called out to your mind? What book are you looking forward to me reading next–one on my list or an old one or a new one? What more or LESS would you like of in the future for these types of posts? And which group or video idea/art idea I mentioned here stuck out to you the most?
TRACKING DATES AND TIMES OF DAY I WROTE THIS REVIEW*:
*I did this review a little differently!! I actually decided since I was all about procrastinating on reviewing my procrastination book (the last BES) that because THIS book already had 30 page flags before getting further than 30 pages into it, THAT I would actually work on the review as I went along rather than leaving it all at the very end after I had finished the book. SO that’s what I tried out and I’m just starting out today, 2/10/22, to see how it goes with the skeleton of the post outlined and before I start filling in the information and stuff. Alsoooo there’s a LOT of things I’d like to check out because that’s making up MOST of the flags so that will be helpful to get compiled at the get-go rather than all at the end. I’m sure I’ll have thoughts about the whole process later on too so I’ll maybe fill that in somewhere or add it as a segment later. 💛😁😁 Thanks so much for reading and coming along for the ride!!! XXX
2/10/22 (noon), 3/3/22 (early evening, evening), 3/25 (later evening), 4/2 (early evening), 4/3 (late afternoon,evening), 4/20 (evening, late evening), 4/22 (afternoon, early evening), 4/25 (evening), 4/27 (evening), 4/28 (late afternoon, early evening, evening, late evening–to completion).
Living life with a chronic illness is definitely not easy. But I do my best to push through all the barriers this illness puts in front of me! In my heart and mind, I believe maintaining a positive outlook on all situations in life will carry us through to much better times! I hope you find the information that I provide both helpful and inspirational!
RaqoverytoWellness 